In San Antonio, Texas we understand that the phrase “a line in the sand” means tough choices must be made. After all, this is the home of the Alamo where Lt. Col. William B. Travis is said to have drawn a line in the sand and given his men a choice to die in the battle or leave. They all stayed. The tough choices I want to write about today are not that dramatic…no one will die on the other side of the line, but I do hope there are some of you who might be freed.

It is obvious throughout the blogs there are many ladies struggling with style and clothing decisions. There have been recent posts and comments which just broke my heart….women who do not know where to turn for help…you can since the despair in their words. I know that despair…I have been there. So, I hope by taking you through some of the thought processes which have helped me, it might help someone else.

There was a time when I would walk into my closet and just see craziness on display. In fact, if Stacy and Clinton had ever visited they would have called me schizophrenic! I obviously had no direction or style goals. I would just look at the mess hanging there and wonder…Why? I can remember when the answer came to me…one night…when I was thinking about the direction I wanted to go with my makeover. Suddenly, the girls at my school came to mind and I thought about what I saw them doing most of the time they were out of uniform…the majority of them dress for approval and attention from boys and even other girls. It was a lightning bolt moment when I realized that women spend most of their time trying to figure out what other people will accept on them rather than what they personally feel great in.

I believe I started at age 12 when I mimicked the Beatles’ girlfriends, so that I would have the right look whenever Paul McCartney showed up to sweep me away. My entire life had been dressing for the approval of others…even to the point of shopping just so I looked like other women I worked with in advertising or so that I looked like the “ladies who lunch” crowd of moms from my daughter’s classmates. As I began to really like fashion in my 20s, I thought the crazier I looked the more fashionable I was….and let me tell you, some of those outfits were crazy.

Types of shirt jackets I used to wear a lot.
Not for me any longer!  It’s personal!

Then there was the dressing for the approval of men stage when I was single…those looks could go from very feminine to sex kitten in a heartbeat! If I read that a man liked something…I would try it.

It should not be any surprise that while I was seeking approval of others with clothes…not finding it…gaining weight with pregnancies…and looking worse…that a type of despair and I GIVE UP mentality followed. That was the wall I hit at age 50!

I was ready for change…a new me…a new direction…and FUN! So, the line in the sand is the first decision to discovering your own personal style. If you are like I was, and mostly dressing for the approval of others, then step across the line! Once you begin to dress for yourself (and only yourself), then I submit to you, you will be more attractive in professional and personal relationships. The main reason why you will be more attractive is when you dress for yourself, you walk in Confidence and Joy…you feel good…you smile more…your care more…and all of that, ladies, is attractive.

The next step is what I now call THE FOUNDATION FIVE. Look for it this week!

Does this story sound familiar to anyone???

“Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself – no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are – completely; the good and the bad – and make changes as YOU see fit – not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”

Stacey Charter, cancer survivor

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