ladies of Midlife Boulevard where some of us answer the question about our most
important rule for parenting.
cut out hundreds of these little pictures for a special project to be done the
following week with our children. My
hand hurt and I was just ready for closure when I left the table to get a
drink. I told both children, ages five and seven, not
to go near that table!
had decided mommy needed help, but had only destroyed stacks of the pictures
while he attempted to take over the cutting.
He sat in the chair in tears… just the memory of the moment still
melts my heart.
about all rules…sometimes it is not necessary we live by them.
I certainly wanted to (fatigue and frustration), but at the time I discerned his sweet, little
heart was genuinely birthed from a desire to help, so I showed grace. Grace doesn’t mean that rules do not exist,
but it does mean that sometimes a broken rule can provide a greater teaching moment
about a bigger lesson…unconditional love.
grace-based parenting would be:
Do not react immediately. Step back from the situation and process, then decide if it requires discipline or grace.
Do not use grace as a platform to avoid
discipline…they still need the guidance and choosing not to stand firm can hurt them
just as much as over-reacting.
Explain the situation thoroughly, even to small
children. Let them know that you
understand a rule was broken, but why “this time” you will give them a grace
card. “Though you deserve punishment,
you will not receive it for these reasons.”
Also, let them know this is a one- time situation and does not cover all
Be loving through the moment…tender in touch,
tender in voice, tender in teaching. Always end with , I LOVE YOU.
Understand each of your children’s personalities
and bents. Some need more discipline
than others. It is so important to know
that each one has a unique personality and will require a unique game plan. You must know your children really well in
order to practice discernment and not allow one to manipulate you.
well as you train them. The son I
mentioned above still goes out of his way to help me…he holds my heart in his
hand. If I had yelled and screamed that
day, I might have shut off this flow of love he has continued to pour upon me
his entire life.
seasoned at times with just a touch of grace.