determined to make everyone around her suffer for it.” – Meryl Streep
the cast of the recently released August:
Osage County. An amazing cast of talent appearing in,
most likely, a quality production. But,
one I just do not believe I can sit through.
It would be too close to home…too soon after my mother’s passing. Critics write the audience will love the
humor. If you live it, there is nothing
funny about it.
alcoholism and abuse from my grandfather.
She refused to even try….she only punished the rest of us day to day,
moment to moment for her past. Her anger
was biting in jabs delivered…judgment served…and at times physical swipes. I
have attempted to process all of this for years upon years.
lunched, shopped, and went to movies together. Who loved to hear the other
laugh…who ran to wipe away the tears…who respected decisions made…
occasionally return, I spent one hour every week on the phone listening to her
talk. The extent of my conversation was
to say “Uh,huh,” every now and then.
Most often, the conversation ended because she began a vicious attack
against someone in the family…and I could only take so much. But, for some reason, I believed I had to at
least do this. If I wasn’t going to go visit, then I had to listen to
venom for one hour a week in order to feel
like I was a good daughter…that’s kind of sick in itself.
how the passing of someone who has made your life miserable continues to have
the ability to control emotions from the grave.
For there are times I will feel immense sadness and a deep
responsibility we were not closer…then I feel guilt for past decisions…followed
at times by relief…more guilt…anger upon reliving moments when she hurt others…
I have a wonderful relationship with my own daughter. I am not profoundly disappointed with life…I
am choosing to enjoy each day…even the difficult ones. I tried to share all of this with her…she
would not allow it.