Happy Monday, ladies! I am calling this week Confidence Tips from the Inside Out, and decided to wear black and brown for these posts…since black and brown is a fall trend this year! I love the combination of black and brown and really feel my most confident wearing it, so around these looks I am going to discuss ways we can be more confident on the inside.
Today’s Confidence Tip is: LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST
A few of our new followers, ask that I tell my “eyelash” story, and while it is a story of victory, it is also a reminder for me to leave the past in the past. Bitterness about difficulties in our lives only eats away at our confidence and joy. Bitterness can age us faster than just about anything. So, as I tell this story, please know I am not bitter in any way and have left it where in belongs…in the past.
I have no memory of my parents ever liking one another…or loving one another. I was raised in a very contentious home. Constant arguing and tension. Around the age of five, my mother recalled that one day she looked closely at me and I had no eyelashes. She was horrified. She did not remember seeing me with only part of them or seeing them on my cheeks or pillow case, but she decided they must have fallen out for some reason. So, off to the pediatrician we went. I do remember sweet Dr. Holt being completely baffled as to why I had no eyelashes. He recommended better nutrition. They did blood tests to see if I had a disease. No answers, and no eyelashes for 13 years.
During high school, Dr. Holt recommended I put Vaseline on my eyelids every night to lubricate the lids. I do not remember doing this at home. I can go to my high school yearbook (and I was one of the editors!) and find a close up of my eyes…just lids, no lashes. Then I graduated and headed off to college, 6 hours away from home. I was relieved to get to college for many reasons. I hated the anger and yelling in my house. My roommate asked why I was not doing the Vaseline, and I just shrugged my shoulders. But, shortly after that began to put it on my eyes at night. It was not long before my lashes began to grow back. (NOTE: I still use Vaseline today. I remove my eye makeup with it every night. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. I know it is petroleum jelly. I also know it means alot me and always will).
It was also not long after being away for a few months, that I began to have memories. Memories of a little girl sitting on her front porch, rocking back and forth while yelling was happening inside, and pulling out her eyelashes. I had to get away from home to see what nerves and anxiety were doing to me and to watch my eyelashes return as I stayed away. I did not spend much time at home after that. Both of my parents are gone now, and my mother was difficult to be around until she died. She allowed anger and bitterness from an alcoholic home to rob her of joy and her life. I have always felt sad for her, but had to limit my time around her because of the anxiety her anger created in me.
My thick, long lashes are a victory trophy for me of overcoming a dark time in my life. I love them and love to play them up with mascara. But, letting go of the pain of the past and the sadness of the past was so important for me to go forward with joy and confidence. It only hinders and does not serve us well. Now, I must also say, that a big part of healing from the past was giving my life to Jesus Christ. If anyone wants to talk about that part of the story, just send me an email.
Leaving the past in the past is a choice YOU can make right now. I encourage you to do so if something is causing you to have an unhealthy behavior…like pulling out all of your eyelashes. Life is too short to let bitterness and anger reign. It is possible to have a joyful, big smile as your number one accessory.
Back to clothes, my excitement was over the top when I learned that black & brown worn together was back as a fall trend. I love it and feel my confident best when wearing it. This Eileen Fisher jacket has been in my closet for a long time…it is so lightweight and cool. I can dress it up, or dress it down a bit like I have done today. Today I am wearing it with my Joan Vaas Leggings, and a INC tank top from Macys. I love the silver jewelry with it. Like me, I feel certain that many of you have black and brown pieces in your closet that you had not considered wearing together. Get them all out and play with them…you can create some fun styles!
I have created a black and brown slideshow for you below. Thanks to those who asked to hear the story. It reminded me of just how special my eyelashes are to me. I hope this helped someone in some small way. I will see you tomorrow for Confidence Tip #2…and another black & brown style!