I sense it…and you probably do as well. Our self-talk may be skewing a little negative these days, and it will affect our overall health if we are not careful. We have been living through a type of war that was waged on our every-day lifestyle and the debris is hitting many in different ways. It might be in the area of health, fear, economic insecurities, and skepticism of what the future holds. But remember...positive, healthy self-talk is a way to say I MATTER.
But, for purposes of this blog and the topics we usually discuss, let’s focus on our self-talk about our appearances and abilities. So often during difficulties, it is easy to lapse into criticisms of ourselves…you know, the “you are too old, too ugly, too used up” kind of words.
This week has been the toughest battle I have had with my mirror in a long time. As many of you know I am a proponent of not allowing the mirror to control us, rob us of joy, or become a place of negativity each time we are there. But, my hair is finally embarrassing. I hate to be seen by anyone…even me. I just have two more days before my appointment, but this week has really been a battle as I try my best to persevere through this. What happens is that when we see something we are not happy with, then we can so often allow it to set off a firestorm of negative self-talk. We go from the gray streak down the middle, to the scraggly bangs, to the age spots, to the crepey skin, to the wrinkles, to the fat in the middle…and before we know it, we have decided we are worthless and a mess. Then we can inflict awful messages into our heads…. And once again the mirror has been given the power and control over everything!
Have you been there lately? I think more of us are at this point due to the recent quarantine circumstances. But, it is our choice as to whether we give the mirror that power or take it back. It is a choice.
What I have learned to do is verbally, loudly say STOP! Then choose to focus on the positives. I personally believe that there are so many new opportunities for us in this world today if we seek them and think on what we can offer that is new and not on what we can’t. Begin to think on your passions and research how your talents may be utilized in a new world. I am talking about service as much as financial opportunities. We are not dead yet, but remember life is too short to listen to the voices in our head that are not helpful.
Choose to listen to the ones that are positive and broadcast that there is no one else in the world like you. Not one. You are a unique snowflake with a lot of life yet to live. You have gifts and talents someone is looking for. Think on those things instead and then let’s go do this!
After my hair appointment this weekend, I will be able to style some fun looks for you to see next week. Can’t wait!
Anyone else struggling with self-talk during this time? Please feel free to share here…it is a lovely community and a safe place. Of course, I have a slideshow for you today called ITEMS I HAVE HAD MY EYE ON CURRENTLY ON SALE. And hope everyone will………………………………………………………………………….
KEEP SMILING!!
JUST A NOTE:
There are several ways that I generate income through this blog in order to cover business expenses and give myself much needed income. Purchases through the slideshow links is one way, ads on the page is one way and a new way is through ordering or re-ordering the GOLI Apple Cider Vinegar gummies through me with my GOLI LINK HERE. Again, if you are not familiar with the benefits of apple cider vinegar, you should speak with your personal physician. My husband and I are sold on the benefits and I am proud to represent this product. I am going to leave this at the bottom of my posts so that when you, friends or family would like to order you can use my link. Thanks for the support. This is a great product.
By Pamela Lutrell
Thanks for the pep talk We all need it during these unusual times! Keep them coming!
I know I need them! Thanks Susan!
You are always beautiful in our eyes, no matter the hair or clothing choices….your inspiring words, genuine caring for each of us is what pops up….
You are beautiful everyday. You matter!
I tell myself…you can fix this, it won’t always be like this, tomorrow is a new day to begin again!
Keep being YOU!
You are so sweet, Paulette. Thank you!
Pam.. I know exactly how you feel! I get my hair cut this afternoon and can hardly wait. I could be the poster child for Ragmuffins! Hand in girlfriend, you got this!😘
Well, yes. You might know I’d be struggling too! This post is helping me think of how I know better, I’m not supposed to beat up on myself. Like you Pam, I’m missing going to the gym. I’ve been doing daily workouts, except for Saturday and Sunday I take a break….and even started adding walks outside. In spite, it seems I’m gaining weight (don’t own a scale, I avoid them). My problem area is my lower abdomen, lower than my waist. The menopause abdomen. So yes, I’ve been saying things to myself that I shouldn’t, because it doesn’t help and actually makes me feel worse. I can easily make my hair look good, or my makeup, and I’ve changed how I eat, but this issue is getting me down. I can see where this is exacerbated by the “house arrest.” Thankfully, things are slowly opening up, and thankfully the weather has improved. But I needed to hear your words in this post today because this beating up of ourselves is something we have control over. This helped me see that I have way more to be thankful for than negative about. Thank you for writing this Pam.
Hi Pam! Here’s a quote I saw this week: “Imagine if we obsessed over the things we loved about ourselves.” It’s so true – what a difference it would make in our lives!!
LOVE IT, Kathy! Thanks for sharing….
The easiest way to boost our self esteem is to help others, in my opinion. It is difficult to physically help others in our current situation. We can be an Encourager, though. We can make calls, texts, or send an old fashioned note. People still love to get mail that they can hold in their hand and read again for a period of time. You matter, we matter, all lives matter. One reason that God put us on this earth is to care for and love each other. When you openly care for someone, it says to them that they matter. These times will be over and we will quickly assume our normal routines. I hope and pray that we do not quit supporting, caring, and encouraging each other. You do that with your blog. Thank you for your positive thoughts and caring messages everyday.
Great message, Jan, and I appreciate your comments about the blog. That has always been my goal here…to encourage and inspire. I agree with you that I hope the desire to help others will go forward as we recover. Thanks for sharing.
I am very fortunate to have a husband who often compliments me . I am not a person who will ask “ Does this make me look bad, fat, whatever?” But I can walk into the room, and he will say “ You are beautiful!” or “ You look nice.”. Bear in mind that I am 73 years old, gray hair that drastically needs a trim now, a definite collection of fat around my middle and in other places, And I think how glad I am that no one is seeing me these days without my mask which definitely makes my hair look weird. But I am usually a very positive person, and we have made a concerted effort to not cause anger during our isolated months together. I’m always concerned about how I look, but during these days when so many are sick, and suffering with other problems, that has really not been my focus.
You are blessed with a loving husband and a healthy mindset! Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the pep talk! I have been struggling with some health problems and being secluded amplified everything. I too have a hair appointment next week—that will help some. Love your site!
Thank you for being here, Ellie!
Hi Pam. I hope you didn’t forget to smile when you were looking in the mirror, because in the photo today you -and your hair – look happy, healthy and attractive. It’s reading a blog like yours that encourages me to dress nicely every day, even though I am retired and, at the moment, am only going outside for walks.
It makes such a difference in our attitude and zeal for life, doesn’t it! Good for you, Fiona!
Pam I want to thank you for this post. I have done fairly well but today started out as a bad mirror day. Thank you for your beautiful smile and helpful suggestion on how to seize the bad thoughts and toss them out the window. I admire how nice your hair has looked throughout this stay at home time.
I hope this helped, Claudette. This picture is a pre-pandemic picture. I will post a right now picture of my hair tomorrow, so you understand my angst! Stay positive!
Wonderful post today, Pam! Thank you for your beautiful encouraging words! Have a blessed day!
You as well, Cyndy! Thanks for being here.
Dearest Pam – when you look in that mirror, please try to recall that uplifting song I sent you the link to a couple months ago by Kat Edmonson, “You Sparkle and Shine,” because we all suffer moments of feeling a little less than. Yesterday I finally made myself figure out how to make a playlist on my phone and filled it with up-tempo songs. Labeled it ¡Caminando! (Walking!) and will soon be back to our house in town (sold and leaving our ranch) where I can resume my morning and evening walks around our beautiful old neighborhood. This isn’t the retirement we had planned, but owing to my husband’s health, it’s simply what IS, just as my aging self is what IS! I plan to make the most of both.
I play it often. I am doing good! And it sounds like you are doing good as well, Connie. Thanks for being a great inspiration to others!
Once again Pam you have written a post meant just for me. I have been struggling with major hair loss due to a new medication I have to take and it has really affected my self-esteem. It is now so difficult for me to try to just cover up my scalp. Thanks for the encouraging, positive post. You are a blessing!
Joanne, I know this must be hard, but I can see in your words you have a sweet, kind spirit and I am willing to bet, a beautiful smile!
Oh boy! Like the others it’s been a low day for me also. No particular reason really. Maybe it’s the phase of the moon? I just feel grouchy and negative. I’m not letting myself go to the body image self talk or I would be too far down the rabbit hole. Usually when I have a down day like today, it’s gone the next. Often times, it’s much sweeter the next day having been feeling blue the day before. I hope it will be that way for you, too. We all know we have so much to be thankful for, but sometimes that’s no help. Let me have my down day and get it over with!
Pam, your hair will be gorgeous and you’ll soon feel like you old self. Blessings, my dear.😘
Of course you can have your down day! This post was really to call attention to the down days that spiral out of control and rob us of overall joy. I don’t want that for anyone. So it was just to say beware of the spiral. I am doing fine!
We all need support to get through the tough times. Thank you Pam for being there for us with that support. I am grateful every day for my health, a job, and my family but fatigue, lack of social connection and a complete change in lifestyle can get to me. It can just take a bad hair day to push me to the the brink. I’m okay, but I feel it.
I hear you Janet. Hang in there and don’t let the negativity take over. A thankful heart like you mention here is the key to staying hopeful and joyful. Glad you are here
Being on furlough since the end of April has certainly brought out some worrisome thoughts. I’m not quite old enough to retire but I really don’t want to start over — although I might have to. I’ve sent out resumes and had some potential interest, but I keep going back to the thought “who is going to hire someone my age????” (I’m 61).
Your post gave me a real boost today. I may be 60+ but I have lots of energy and interest in life and not ready to call it day! I also enjoy fashion and ‘dressing up’ even if it is casual, informal wear. I’m putting on my positivity cap!! Thanks, Pam!
I was hired at 64 for the job I am currently doing. Don’t listen to those voices. You can do this!
Thank you, Pam!
Thank you for being here, Beth!