Do you agree with DVF on aging?

39 Comments

1. Yes, Diane is right. Aging is a gift. Tomorrow I’m attending a funeral for a beautiful 52 year old lady. We need to embrace our age and consider it a blessing and make the most of it.

2. This may be wrong of me but I never respected her because her dresses only went to a size 12. To me it meant she didn’t care for me or many other women!

   As for aging I am almost 79. Still having a great time and loving life. Things just hurt a little more sometime! I have to exercise and watch my diet a little better.

3. Chronogically I am 72 years old. However my mind ranges somewhere between the little kid that laughs hysterically at fart jokes and the 90 year old who misses the body that could dance all night and still show up for work the next day. I feel so privileged to have lived all these years and am looking forward to the ones to come!

4. Yes, we do Marcia…I have enjoyed this time of life…even with challenges…it brings me joy.

5. So do I Darlene…I am not going to fault anyone for there business plan. I do not own or wear her garments, but I do respect her as a businesswoman.

6. So am I, Linde. I also have a lot of little kid still in me and love to make rhymes and sing songs every day.

7. There are definitely days when I feel old because of how my body hurts in many places, but I am determined to keep moving. Both Grandmothers and my Mama died when they were 77 as I am but I do not want to be bed-ridden as grandmothers were. I proudly tell my age because I think that even though I have gained some pounds since retirement, I’m still fit and always aware of how I dress. I laugh at the commercial for a new Matlock tv series on CBS where Kathy Bates who apparently plays the role of Matlock says something about “no body pays attention to little old gray-haired ladies”, meaning her age and wisdom are her advantage. I feel that way too.

8. I have been a follower of DVF since the early 80’s and read every book and article about her that I could find. The reality show of her design complex and competition for a lucky winner to be coached by her was a fascinating look into how she works and her amazing mind. When I went for a style consultation locally a few years ago I was asked for 3 names of women I would like to emulate and she of course was one of them. I too am impressed that she never wanted to alter her face and lives life to the fullest.
   Thanks for the reminder Pam, and I will dig out that book to have another look.

9. Thanks Celia…I wasn’t aware of the new Matlock…I will check it out!

10. I also watched that show, Diane, it was so good and I did love how she was tough and compassionate as a mentor. Her work ethic is amazing…and continues on!

11. I’m always amused by women who pat themselves on the back because they reject the use of fillers all in the name of “aging naturally” but then have a standing 4 week appointment to get their gray roots dyed.

12. Oh, I saw the show on Hulu and looked right past it–I’ll watch it soon. Also, *love* the Kathy Bates Matlock trailer. It looks so good.

13. I think being “proud” of my age is a misnomer (kind of implies a participation trophy), but feeling privileged and thankful to have made it so far does resonate. I am, however, proud that I undertook to improve my health so much, and that I still contribute through part time work, being a helpful grandmother, and helping out where I can. I read the most interesting book last year, Atomic Habits. At first I was mentally rolling my eyes, but his message was central to my health journey, and would apply to much of our lives. It’s that you cannot set a goal that’s a result. We have no control over the result. We can only set ourselves a process. I think aging is very, very tough on older people with health issues, but we all control the process and our day-to-day lives. As for the small stuff of aging, I color my hair because I like it, but I’ve chosen not to have any “work” done on my face. I see no political viewpoint or need for advocacy of either choice, though I know others do. I often face media and peer pressure to go gray, but I’d rather not, so I don’t. One of the true privileges of aging is the chance to make more of our own choices.

14. The word ‘pride’ is problematical for me. When talking about oneself I feel saying you’re happy with or satisfied with your accomplishments is better. ‘Pride’ can have negative connotations—pride comes before the fall, or the sin of pride. There is one place where I believe pride is totally appropriate and that is when your heart swells for others at their accomplishments or behaviors. In those cases it’s important to let then know how you feel.

15. Yes, I like the phrasing of the question. You know, in Spanish, the question is asked, “¿Cuántos años tiene?” … which translated literally means “how many years do you have?” The “are you” element asked in English equates us with our age. I am very happy to be about a month away now from my 61st birthday. My bestie turns 62 the day after me, and we always do something fun to celebrate each other and our friendship. This year we have a girl trip to Jacksonville and Ashland Oregon, for a Jason Mraz outdoor concert, and the play Jane Eyre at the Elizabethan outdoor amphitheater. Of course we will stay in cute lodgings and enjoy shopping, dining, and lots of walking. THAT is a a LOT to be happy and thankful about at 61!

16. New subscriber here. I’m really tired of reading what people should wear when they’re over 40 or even over 50 as if there is nothing past that. I’m 72. Of course. I don’t believe I’m really 72. I think that’s some kind of trick as I feel like I should be more like 52. When I read those articles of what to dress over 50, I view them with a an eye that I am only 52! I can remember when my mom was young and she would talk about how there was nothing in the stores for someone her age to wear. Now I see that there are all sorts of stores and I can find what I want. Generally. A bigger problem for me is that I am short and not skinny. I do have one Johnny Was hot pink definitely boho type of top I love it. I confess to buying it at half price though as I find they’te fairly expensive for something I wouldn’t wear everyday. I’m in Canada, we probably have not as great a selection up here, but I find there are quite a few independent stores in my city that have great clothes for women of all ages. I never questioned the term boho chic as it seemed to make sense to me.

17. I’m 73, I let my hair go gray last year & I love it! It was quite a process but now I’m so happy with my natural silver/light brown highlighted hair and I get tons of compliments. I also had an eyelift a few years ago and I get Botox occasionally – just enough to soften the crinkles around my eyes and the 11 on my forehead. I’m not trying to look younger, just better, and it just makes me happy. My neck is another situation and I need to be more consistent with this, but Carole Maggio facercise really does make a difference in that area. Thanks for always getting us talking, Pam. Every woman is beautiful in her own way and we each need to do what makes us happy!

18. Interesting that amuses you, Sonja. I want to look my natural best. When my hair doesn’t look natural on me, I will do something knew. Having a frozen face is not me. I am about smiling and joy…don’t want to freeze that smile! What’s best for me.

19. Let me know how the DVF show is Kim.

20. Love your thoughts so much, Linda!

21. Good thoughts, Linlee!

22. Always love to hear your celebrations, Connie!

23. Hi Shelia…welcome! When I hit 60, I did not change the name of my blog because of marketing. I and you will always be over 50…the rest of our lives. Feeling 40 just means I feel great! I think fashion over 50, 60, 70 and beyond is pretty much the same. Don’t get hung up in the words and let them irritate you…everyone here is over 50! I desire to help us smile on and look and feel our best. Following marketing strategies helps me stay here and cover my expenses. So glad to have you join us!

24. DVF has always fascinated me. I could never afford her clothes but had a knock off about 40 years ago back when I was a size 6. Now I am 79 and wear a 12P. I’m glad that there are a few people in the public eye that are aging naturally. I find the fake fat lips that barely move and puffed out cheeks are very unattractive. Living in rural mountains of Colorado that look would really stand out and not in a good way. I do not color my hair. It is mostly white with a little silver streaks. But I was a blonde so not a huge change. I love shoes and clothes and that is where I spend my money. I’m disabled with severe osteoarthritis and chronic pain and fatigue but we walk the dog every morning and I help my husband with as many chores as I can. Use it or lose it is my motto as well as laugh as often and as joyfully as possible every day. I’m looking forward to seeing the new Matlock with Kathy Bates. The trailer is a hoot. We do have Disney Plus so I will look for that documentary.

25. I can really relate to DVF. As a former English and literature teacher of junior high students, I couldn’t help but notice that there were young girls who reflected the norm of current “attractiveness” and some who did not. Not long into the year I would find that DVF’s quote about strength and personality gave a large dose of attraction to those who at first seemed lacking in looks. On the other hand, some of the most physically attractive girls who might have less attractive personality traits (pettiness, meanness) just faded away in my eyes. Hopefully they outgrew it! Attractiveness is packaged and presented in so many different ways, but confidence and personality top all. I pray every night for my hundreds of former students and hope they have found happiness and success in their lives.
    I am with you on coloring my hair. Annie says that some autumns often have trouble with their grey being as attractive as other seasons. I feel as if I would just shrink into nothingness with the grey that I have. It is my perk and I am sticking with the monthly touch ups.

26. Annie told me that and it makes sense. If it ever looks unnatural to me, I will let it go. For now it still looks like me. I pray for my former students often. They are bombarded with so much these days they need extra doses of strength. Thanks Deborah!

27. I bet your hair is lovely, Sydney

28. This discussion reminds me of a conversation I had with my Grandmother when she turned 90. She was born in 1900 so had lived through a lot of interesting years. I asked her how she was feeling at 90. Her answer was, ” I feel exactly the same as I did when I was 16, my body just isn’t listening. ” I laughed then and it still makes me laugh.

29. I don’t take pride in my age, but I do look at each day as gift & a reason to celebrate. Yes, I have some health issues, but I am able to manage them. I attended my 50th high school reunion last year, & it was sad to see how many of our classmates had died. Some from accidents, some from poor life choices & some from diseases over which they had no control. Some were very young in their 20’s & 30’s. Some more recently in their 60’s, & every age in between. I like the idea of asking how long someone has lived. I think it shows that you value their life & them. You don’t see them as just a number.

30. I love that DeborahM used DVF’s quote about strength and personality to lift up the girls who were not beautiful in the conventional sense of the word. That resonated with me because I felt ugly when I was in junior high school. I would have loved to hear those words when I was 13. Sometime in 7th grade a male social studies teacher praised me for having gotten straight As on my report card. I had always gotten top grades in school and frequently wished that my teachers would not announce who got the best grade on a test (it was always I). He made the remark to me as all of us students were leaving his classroom to go home. I felt seen in a good way and was glad he had not said anything about my straight As in front of my classmates. From that day forward, I decided to make an effort to get straight As on every report card. Up until that time, I had never studied for a test! I decided that being the best I could be academically was more important than being liked by the other kids. I was a skinny, brainy, nerdy, and very shy, musician. I graduated from H.S. (as valedictorian, by the way) never having been asked on a date. I considered myself to be average-looking, but felt unseen and unattractive in the eyes of my classmates. (I will confess that in junior H.S. I got weepy more than once because I felt like such a skinny, ugly duckling. I was a little mad at God for not granting me a little more physical beauty.) I went off to college as a music major at age 17. Funny thing was, I suddenly got lots of attention from the boys. By the end of H.S., I was no longer skinny. I was a late bloomer physically, like everyone member of my family. In hindsight, I realize that I had a nice hourglass figure by the time I started college. At graduation from H.S., I still felt unattractive, but I now know I felt that way because of the way I felt reflected in the eyes of my classmates.

    I am now nearly 70. The big birthday is in 3 1/2 months. I am told that I look very well preserved for my age. I have never had fillers or botox, and will never consider them. However, I do color my hair and will probably do so for life! I have no age spots and minimal lines or wrinkles on my face. The first time I was in my dermatologist’s office for my now annual skin cancer screening, she rechecked my chart because she said she thought she must have picked up the wrong one. The chart said I was 65 and she thought she was seeing someone in her early 40s. I was praised for faithfully using sunscreen as an adult. (If only we had had and used good sunscreens when we were kids!) I have never had skin cancer, but I believe that a full body skin screening is a must once we reach a certain age. I am fortunate to be in excellent health. I still have a good figure, though I am a few pounds heavier than when I was in my 20s. I have learned how to dress to flatter my body and I have known since studying color analysis at age 29 what colors are my best. All in all, I think that in terms of physical appearance, I am doing well. I think the ugly duckling did become a decent looking swan. Best of all, I outgrew the need for outside validation. I am happy in my own skin. I wish I could tell my younger self that there was nothing wrong with me!

31. I think I would have loved your Grandmother!!

32. I love what you said, Becky…it shows that you value their life!

33. Kathy, Thank you for allowing us to know you. What a wonderful life of lessons and gratitude. You seem to be quite a remarkable woman!

34. I like DVF’s definition of beauty: strength and beauty. Also I will definitely use the phrase, how many years. I am not familiar with her, but I am glad you shared about her today.

35. This might be an interesting topic for further discussion. What is your idea of aging naturally? Does it include artificially altering your appearance with Botox, fillers or hair dye? And this is another question that I’ve really been thinking about lately. At what age do we reach the point that our confidence comes from a place other than how we feel about our outward appearance? Are the men in our lives coloring their hair, loading up on expensive skin care, wearing only colors in their color wheel, dressing to appear thinner to boost their confidence? Where does their confidence come from? I’m in my sixties and these are all things Ive been pondering lately and I wonder if I’m the only one.

36. I agree, Sonja. Thank you for bringing it up.

37. Pam, what an amazing bunch of women you attract to your blog. Every time I read the comments from your followers….my heart just bursts with happiness….because….we are all wonderfully older and full of knowledge, with so much to share with each other and the rest of the world. Long live ….Strength and Personality! “Your” ladies have it all. So glad I discovered you and your blog! 🩵

38. I agree, Karen! There are amazing women in this blog community and I am so grateful. So glad to have you here.

39. Late to the party, but still wanted to ponder this topic because I am turning 65 in a few weeks. I am generally considered to be “young for my age,” but the health problems I’ve had the past few years make me feel older than my chronological age much of the time. My mama lived to be 98 and until she died, every day I would say “Mama, you’re one day closer to 100!” (It was very important to her to live to be a century old.) Her daily reply has become my mantra: “Every day is a gift.”

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