HAIL TO THE QUEEN!…….okay, maybe the maidservant…..

I didn’t think about it at first, but there is a certain air of mystique that comes with keeping my identity a secret. Possibly, you envision me as a powerful Meryl-Streep-Devil-Wears-Prada type. Fully in control of the fashion industry…lending my expertise and knowledge to all of the “small people” while designers shower me with their wares and interns bring me mass quantities of Starbuck’s. They tremble when I speak and fashion stands still until I render my thoughts.

Possibly, I am a high dollar television producer looking to start a new reality show with the assistance of model/producer Heidi Klum… kind of a Project Runway for the Seasoned Woman…building an audience through a blog which is secretly written by an assistant, not me, but of course I get all of the credit once the real author is announced in a major press conference to the entertainment world.

Alas, were one of those scenarios only true. The truth?? I live among the glamorous world of laundry….where a good day turns football practice stains to white…everyone likes and eats the evening meal…and all cars run without problems. My world is full of students who forget homework….parents who make excuses for kids who forget homework…193,000 miles on a car…a new car payment…layoffs…higher insurance… college tuitions….and a cat who is bipolar.

So, this brings me to fashion magazines. How I got to that was through the frustration I have with all of them, because rarely do they produce style for the woman in the trenches. Some make a valiant effort. The August issue of O magazine teases with this headline “265 Unbelievable Bargains Just for You.” I just think Oprah is so far away from a reality such as mine, that she doesn’t understand that $99 per item is not enticing. Her under $100 section features mostly items from $50-$99. A fall coat for $748 does not work in our family or my wardrobe.

I like to look at the Harper’s Bazaar section titled Fabulous at Every Age. Let’s just look at the prices for the age 50s section in the August issue. Purse: $1,995; Shoes: $550; Blouse: $1,175; Earrings: $2,358; Skirt: $2,595; Jacket: $7,615…….Really?? I really wonder how many women in America can do this.

But I am here to tell you, ladies, that you can look fabulous in quality clothes on a budget! Yes, I will tell you things like layering pieces can be found for $5; but, come on, they are layering pieces, they go underneath the good stuff. Pay attention to my shopping suggestions and you will be able to look like you came out of a magazine for far less than those prices.

I look at the magazines for suggestions of what looks good; what’s in style; and then decide how I can mimic it. Remember FIT MATTERS. AND FIT IS AFFORDABLE!

I just asked my teenage son to bring me Starbuck’s and a salad! He laughed out loud.