Unwanted Guests

They were on my doorstep again last night.  The unwanted guests I often have to send away.  Fortunately, I am beginning to see a pattern of when they appear.

You know them.  Mr. & Mrs. If Only accompanied by Mr. You Are A Loser!  Their negativity can be toxic and addictive.  If you allow them in your home, then there are times, they become squatters and just will not leave.

Hopefully, with age comes wisdom and I am beginning to recognize what might cause these guests to think I have left the light on for them.  When I do not care for myself….lack of sleep…lack of exercise…overwork…over worry…poor eating habits…all will open the door to the negative team.

If only I had learned to love exercise early in life…
If only I had cooked healthier meals for my family…
If only I had not said no to that job…
If only there were no gray hairs and wrinkles popping out…
If only I had more courage…
If only my kids were still at home…
If only…
I am going to develop a plan to oust these guys…hit them from their blind side…I refuse to allow them squatters’ rights.  I need some rest and a new health care plan I commit completely to living by.  But soon, very soon, they will once again have the door slammed in their faces.

Have these guys showed up at your house lately?



  1. Oh Pam! Great post! And YES! They do try to show up and like you, I really have to work sometimes to keep them at bay! Slam the door on them girly! Hugs! ~Serene

  2. THAT'S RIGHT and fight back by doing what YOU CAN. It is NEVER TOO LATE to make healthy meals or make a habit out of taking a walk, to smile and let natural beauty shine!!! NEVER TOO LATE…this is how you fight back…it works!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL PAM! Anita

  3. Oh, I chuckled at the title while swooning over the first photo. Oh yes, "MR.+ MRS. WHY DON'T I EXERCISE" are always ringing my bell. Damn them. xo

  4. Allowing those unwanted guests in are tools used in resistance. Resisting the work we need to do in order to move toward the self we want to see.

  5. Hi Pam, oh yeah, this happens to me all the time. I am getting so much better about saying, Okay, enough! when I hear those voices in my head. And if they won't stop I put on the headphones and listen to music, usually Madonna, because I like that she is still going for it in her 50s. I love her. XO, Jill

  6. Poor Pam. I know those nasty, nagging doubts. You are always so confident, but I suppose it's okay that you are human like the rest of us! 🙂 You just slam the door in their faces and they will realize they're not welcome!

  7. I experience the same thing on an almost daily basis. It's altogether annoying and can make a typically good day simply horrid.

    Back in 2010 I wrote a post about this sort of thing. Here is the url if you're interested:


    I reference a book that my old life coach gave me. It's an easy read – and makes so much sense.

    We all battle this sort of thing from time to time. And it can really get you down. So glad you decided to put this out there for discussion.

    Hugs to you,


  8. I posted darn near the same thing! Let's team up to battle these little demons- Have you been watching Oprah's Life Lessons? I just started and they are really good.
    Hugs as always

  9. Oh Pam: if there is ANYBODY who has the power to kick these demons' sorry asses, it is you, my dear! I will watch and be inspired by your fine example, as always. 🙂

  10. Pam, you said it!! NO to Negativity!! A million hairy millipede legs look like nothing, but when they work together, have you seen how fast those guys can run? Here's to the power of a million little positive thoughts!

  11. Pam, I have had to fight those miseries off regularly. I also deal with a collegue who is soooooooo negative!

    At the end of the day, as Jon Gordon calls them, they're energy vampires.

    I decided to go ahead and do the photography course because I knew that I'd regret it if I did not and say I should have, could have, or when the kids grow up, and if I'd only been like this and that. Out with the negative! Out! Out!

    Thanks for this post, I appreciate it and you.

  12. Wonderful post today and just the very thing I need to address as I approach 65. These unwanted visitors are threatening to take up permanent residence. Pam, you are such an inspiration to us all and I know you have the strength to send these unwelcome varmints scattering. Time for some Spring cleaning!

  13. Yes, this couple shows up at my house fairly often–usually when I have too large a stack of papers to grade and would rather be blogging. Chin up–doesn't it always pass.

  14. This is my first visit to your wonderful blog. As I approach the end of my first year without kids at home–and my 60th birthday–your thoughts ring true. Those unwanted guests have been hanging out on my porch lately, too. I wish you well, and I'm so happy to have found your blog, Pam.

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