For The Over 50 People Pleasers

Many of us who struggle with placing ourselves on our priority list do so because we are people pleasers….this usually means the word NO is not in our vocabulary.  This new book may help the people pleaser’s of the world.  It is written by Dr. Ilene S. Cohen, PhD. who is a psychotherapist, blogger, and teacher for the Department of Counseling at Barry University.

I found some very helpful observations in the book and also found this poem there by Charlie Chaplain.  I share it with you now, and if you are interested in the book...CLICK ON THIS LINK.


As I Began to Love Myself

By Charlie Chaplin

As I began to love myself I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is “AUTHENTICITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood how much it can offend somebody if I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today I call it “RESPECT”.

As I began to love myself I stopped craving for a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today I call it “MATURITY”.

As I began to love myself I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at the exactly right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it “SELF-CONFIDENCE”.

As I began to love myself I quit stealing my own time, and I stopped designing huge projects for the future. Today, I only do what brings me joy and happiness, things I love to do and that make my heart cheer, and I do them in my own way and in my own rhythm. Today I call it “SIMPLICITY”.

As I began to love myself I freed myself of anything that is no good for my health – food, people, things, situations, and everything that drew me down and away from myself. At first I called this attitude a healthy egoism. Today I know it is “LOVE OF ONESELF”.

As I began to love myself I quit trying to always be right, and ever since I was wrong less of the time. Today I discovered that is “MODESTY”.

As I began to love myself I refused to go on living in the past and worrying about the future. Now, I only live for the moment, where everything is happening. Today I live each day, day by day, and I call it “FULFILLMENT”.

As I began to love myself I recognized that my mind can disturb me and it can make me sick. But as I connected it to my heart, my mind became a valuable ally. Today I call this connection “WISDOM OF THE HEART”.


  1. Well, this is certainly profound and applicable to my own life. I am going to download the book to my Kindle today. I really need some help in this area! A better life awaits!

    1. You are not alone, Karen…many of us need some help in this area. That is why I believed it is a good book to bring to this audience.

  2. Wow! I just ordered the book too! After over 32 years of nursing, I retired and began to have problems in this new phase of my life. I always put others first and sacrificed me. I did not know who I was after retirement. I saw a therapist and began a rode to recovery from Co-dependency. I now facilitate a group to help others. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    1. There are some really good points in this book…and I agree, most women fall into this trap. Thanks Jennifer.

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