When We Lose Our Way Over 50

I listened in on a conversation recently where one woman clearly in her later years was describing to her daughter how she had lost her way after turning age 50.  She was disraught because she believed her best days were behind her and lacked direction for the future.  My heart went out to her because I know how it feels to lose your way…but I also know how it feels to find it!  My life after 50 has been exhilarating.  Oh, it has not been without it’s challenges, but I do not think life is ever completely challenge-free.

I have had more fun and surprise experiences than I ever expected to have in my fifties and sixties.  But, I had to chose to turn things around and I had to be open to learning and growing in new areas.  Then doors began to open. I had to take a few risks and I believe risk taking is a choice no matter our age.  Fear can shut anyone down.  I still struggle with feat sometimes, but I have learned to be a little bolder at this time of my life.

In a very small way, wearing these Lisette L Montreal ombre pants is taking a baby step out of my comfort zone.  I would not have worn these in my forties…believe it or not. But, I like them and I do like to reach out of my box occasionally.  The tops are both Chicos Travelers pieces and the necklace is Chicos as well.

What are some ways you have taken risks over 50?  Do you feel like you have lost or found your way later in life?  Please share….and…of course…





  1. Those pants are fabulous Pam! This whole outfit is just beautiful! I like how the bracelet adds a little touch of color. Also looks like the necklace would pick up different colors in the light. Reading that exchange between the mother and daughter almost made me wince. I so very much do not want that to be my experience. I think as I’ve gotten older I feel more free to do different and new things. It’s liberating! I also realize the brevity of life and I don’t want to live with regrets. I’ve done that for too much time and stopped. I have lived with fear for many years, so taking even small steps for me is huge. But there has been a definite shift in my thinking and now I realize that no one is really watching and judging me. I’m a woman out here living my life, and I honestly don’t think any longer that I’m being judged! If I go somewhere alone when others are paired up, it’s fine (for me it’s actually better than my past experiences!) I feel free, and I feel that this is the time to live without regrets. None of us knows what the future holds, tomorrow is not promised to any of us. Life is too short and I’m not wasting any more of it!

    1. You are doing great, Karen. I also winced…and Like you think life is just too short to allow things to shut me down!

  2. It is easy to lose your way, especially in those early empty nester years. Many of us feel like we are starting all over again, trying to figure out what we should be doing. My post this week is along these same lines – great minds!

  3. You look like a woman in charge or maybe a woman leading a charge in the black and white outfit. You also look creative because of the necklace and pants. I think those pants are great on you and a great choice to extend your wardrobe because they are white yet grounded by the black at the hem.

  4. I love your outfit and want to try some patterned pants. My problem is my legs are long and I think the pants look funny on me if they’re too short.
    I personally didn’t struggle much with turning 50. It was so freeing!!! I had a little chat with myself about how I wanted to face the coming decades and looked at it as another exciting chapter that I had more control over as many of life’s responsibilities were behind me and I had the time and still energy to persue my interests. It can be as simple as an attitude adjustment and now in my late 60’s I feel so lucky to live the life I do. ?

  5. Hi Pam. This is my first time ever to leave a comment on a blog! The outfit is beautiful and is one of my favorites of those you have posted.

    A major risk I have taken is leaving a twenty-year teaching career to help my husband run his businesses. I had to step out of my comfort zone big time in order to trust that I could make it financially and professionally. It has taken a little while, but I am so glad I made the change. Now I have more time to focus on taking care of myself.

    Thank you for your blog. I have enjoyed reading your posts.

    1. I am so happy to have you here, Melody. I hope you will comment again. Sounds like your courageous step was a very good one.

  6. Crushing responsibility can come with this stage of life, like being the caregiver for two elderly parents with increasingly heavy care needs, at a time when the chicks haven’t yet flown the coop. This is not for sissies.

    Sometimes we’re forced down a path we’d rather not take, because no one else will do it. Burnout is real, and time for self-care non-existent.

    This is reality, and few will talk about, let alone acknowledge it.

    1. I have several friends who are in the midst of caregiving and it is very, very difficult. I understand why your wrote this and hope things improve.

  7. I think we all digress along the way, regardless of age, and often, more than once. I myself felt lost when I just had my baby (mid 20s) then again when I remarried and found myself with a new family (late 30s) and then for the third time, just 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with Lupus (early 40s). Each “loss of identity” comes with its own set of trials, as well as facets of myself that I’d never seen before. I wouldn’t change a thing/stage in my life. I’ve learned so much about myself, what I am capable of, what I will no longer put up with, that sort of very comforting and empowering things 🙂

    1. You are right…it can happen at any age, but seems to be more prevalent later in life. But, I do agree it can be empowering to think of it as an opportunity!!

  8. I started my favourite job at 60 and enjoyed the last 5 years of my working life the best. Working with young men I was able to demonstrate that older women are knowledgeable and fun. Not a usual opportunity
    for older women so I took the responsibility seriously.

    1. Sounds like it worked well, Lynne. I will probably be working for longer than that. Thanks so much!

  9. Age is a number. At 50 I designed and built a new home on a golf course. At 54 I lectured on fashions and lifestyle on cruise ships. At 57 I moved to Florida after living 26 years in Georgia leaving many dear friends. At 60 I began a career producing fashions shows and involvement in community organizations and making more dear friends. At 71 I became a widow. At 75 I began a new career designing jewelry and became a member of a coop art gallery. And last week I won a ribbon for best floral design in a flower show. So life after 50 is nifty and exciting & it begins whenever you decide for it to begin.
    Pam, Like you, I have been a 12-16 since I was 50 and have decided that is where my body is comfortable. I dress according to my apple body type & accentuate the positive (slim hips) and try to eliminate the negative (thick middle).

  10. Nearing 50, I returned to college in preparation for a second act in teaching special education. Our established business was cratering, and my writing career, while I was still selling to a major publisher, was paying about a tenth of the royalties I was earning just a few years earlier. In other words, the changing economy had us pretty scared. I figured I could do anything I had to do, as long as I knew where the bathroom was! So I found the bathroom, got my advanced degree, and was teaching a year later. That was 15 years ago. It has all been one of the best experiences of my entire life. Imagine where I would be if I was too afraid to have to look for the bathroom.

    1. I always recommend that women consider more education when they are seeking some changes. Staying current is so important. Thanks for sharing your story, Linda.

  11. Lost and found here and there over the years: family life, divorce, going back to school, career risks, finding love again, caregiving, personal health issues. They have taken a toll but I have perservered and am stronger and better for it. I am a survivor. ☺

    1. Good for you, Janet. You seem to have such a healthy outlook of the ups and downs I know we all have…thanks for sharing.

  12. I have enjoyed some of my wildest adventures in the 15 years since I turned 50, many of them while teaching and traveling in Asia. Since turning 60 health issues have kept me closer to home, but I continue to enjoy a very full life. Like Jennifer, I am much more confident than I was in my younger years and I no longer worry about what other people think.

  13. Those pants should be well within your comfort zone from now on. They look GREAT on you and you look GREAT in them!

  14. This outfit looks really good on you! Everyone has written glowing comments, taking the words out of me. So I am writing, “Ditto!”.

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