Style Over 50 Begins with Self Acceptance
Let’s talk about self-acceptance over 50 today……where you are, at the age you are, at the size you are, in the place where you are. I got the sense that some of you were a little discouraged when I mentioned my challenges with summer dress and followed it up with how some clothes make us feel older. A few sounded discouraged themselves and I NEVER want that to happen.
True I have those challenges in the summer, but I do not allow them to get me down. I also do not allow the heat to get me too down. Sure I weary of it toward September, but I still believe life is short and to be lived to its fullest with joy one day at a time.
I accept the fact that I am aging…that I am a grandmother (though my name is GIGI) and that I have some physical challenges before me as I age. But, for me, I try to just make “adjustments” so that I still look and feel my best when I leave the house each day. I have mentioned some of these before, but in an effort to bring encouragement, I would like to mention them again….
- I have a torn earlobe. It was ripped through when I was 22 and repaired once in my life. Alas, it is ripped through again and too weak to hold the fix. Clip earrings are so painful, that I just choose to not wear earrings at all. However, I LOVE jewelry (as you know), so I compensate for no earrings with fun necklaces, and bracelets. I have occasionally worn clip earrings, but they often do not make it through the day.
- I have what I call FUNKY FEET. I previously had bunion surgery, and on that foot, I struggle with callouses and hammer toes. The other foot has begun to have the toe problem. More so this year than ever before, I am wearing predominantly closed toe flats. I do wear sandals, but I am not as confident in them as I was before. But, there are so many cute flats…I never feel like my feet are missing out on fashion fun.
- Like most of you, I am showing wrinkles more and more each day, but I do practice good skincare and wear very light makeup. I love my Bobbi Brown serum foundation (you can’t miss it below and worth every penny) . It does not settle in wrinkles ir enhance them.
- I have chosen to continue to color and highlight my hair…though I am quite gray underneath. This is a personal choice just for my confidence.
- My metabolism has slowed, but I am on top of it with exercise and healthy eating and supplements.
- I am a curvy size 16 and have been for years, but I am still working to lose weight (mostly for health reasons), but I do not allow my size to get me down…I try to ignore labels and dress in ways I know are flattering, fun, and confident.
- Finally, I am a spotted animal underneath my clothes. My family handed down a heritage of “wisdom” spots…there are too many, and it is too expensive to freeze and remove all of them. Of course, I have regular checkups with the dermatologist. But, my longer hair and sometimes a great scarf will help me to hide some of the larger more obvious ones.
- I am blind as a bat…but cute rims make it fun!
There you have it…my current aging issues. Some have been around for a while. But, I am not going to allow them the power to cause me to not enjoy life. You know I love Fashion and Style, and I will continue to enjoy it for the rest of my life. I try to avoid comparisons and to be controlled by negatives. Most of all, I am determined to sing along with Frank and stay Young at Heart.
Today, I am wearing another outfit showing how I use a print. This is a look I would wear for running errands or going to lunch…you know me, I love purple. I know the two purples in the jacket and handbag clash…but I grabbed the bag before I thought to change it out for the picture!
How are you doing with your challenges? Anything the rest of us can help with? Please share if you like and for now, always, always………………….
What a great post Pam! I never tire of this sort of conversation. I do notice changes related to aging and while they might catch me off guard and cause me to react negatively, I’ve learned that it’s much better and healthier to accept changes and do a workaround to emerge confident and attractive. I work with all younger women, and let’s face it, they all know I’m older than they are and it would be ridiculous to pretend otherwise. Working with younger women often gives me a different perspective on things and I believes keeps me younger mentally. As for appearance, I work with who I am at this stage of life and have been trying most recently to not compare myself to those who are younger. “Comparison is the thief of joy”, as the saying goes, and it’s true. I feel confident in my classic modern style and will continue to keep my attitude “young at heart” as you mentioned. Attitude is a huge part of the anti-aging game! I am involved with and play with the grandsons, laugh with the young ladies at work and share challenges with my same-age friends. My faith carries me through A LOT of my challenges and that is huge in my life too! You are always an inspiration Pam, and I so appreciate these honest conversations. It’s so refreshing and helpful!
Thank you for keeping-it real, Pam.Spot on.
Thanks so much, Rajean!
Nice cheerful and positive plan. This also works at 73.
Thanks so much, Mary!
Thanks for the Bobbi Brown skin serum recommendation, I will look into it. I recently had this conversation with my youngest daughter. I have finally lost weight due to working with a holistic doctor. However, my skin is getting crepe-y, I have a soft, squishy middle, arthritis in my knee and some foot problems. I’m 58 yrs and also a grandma. In spite of that I feel fabulous. My health is better than it’s been in a long time b/c of healthy eating and I am maturing with wisdom. I have a ball putting outfits together daily and love my accessories as well. I keep my hair colored at this point, too, but I know those days are numbered.
Ha ha, I love the contrast between your jacket and handbag, I thought that was intentional! And, I’m missing your usual necklace bling. P.S. My friend’s daughter cannot wear earrings, so she replaces earring posts and backs with strong magnets. I realize that may not work either, but thought I’d mention it.
Thank you for the reminder that age is more than just a number but we can find ways to overcome most challenges. I refuse to let my age define who I am. I’ve been challenged because of arthritis, bunions, and “weight retention” but I do try to exercise regularly, eat well, and wear fun flats or lower heels. Gone are the days of the 3″ heels, sigh, but there are some really cute flats and kitten heels which I am able to wear!
Good for you to work through it, Sue! And Yes…I love those flats!
Your frankness and honesty are so valuable in the aging conversation. Like you, I register in the size14-16 range, I have RA so feet issues are challenging. I love to cook and entertain-all while attempting to stay current and stylish. The most important message we can share with all our sisters is that of self-acceptance. Size, age, color-none of that should dictate how we feel about ourselves and the world around us. In fact, our unique perspectives make us more interesting! Thank you for your positive and stylish posts!
Thank you for you comment and support, Renee!
Ha, I too thought your choice of handbag color was deliberate. ? And I like it! Pam you inspire me to be more introspective and find happy solutions instead of spiraling down that rabbit hole of self pity. Within the last 9 months I had foot surgery that has left me with a weak ankle and a hip replacement; after 18 months of restricted movement due to osteoarthritis. (I waited too long before looking for a solution to this problem that was impacting my life.) I can finally “smell the roses and hear the birds” again. Thank you for your courage to put it out there for us, your readers.
You hang in there Suzi…sounds like you are on the road to recovery in many ways!
Pam, really enjoyed this post and your positive attitude on aging and the downside of what occurs with it.
I checked into the Bobbi Brown serum and there are lots of complaints about the bottle and dropper system. Would you please address this for me? Having arthritis in my hands might be an issue for me. Thanks.
Hi Catherine, thanks for being here. The dropper is easy to use but when the product gets low I do have to turn the bottle over and lean it in a drawer to make sure I use it to the last drop. It is pricey so I want to make sure I use it all but it is a great product! It is not difficult to get out of the bottle so should not be an issue for you.
I quite like the handbag and jacket together! If there is anyone out there aging without issues, I’d like to meet them. I’m 66, love to travel all over the world and love observing fashion everywhere I go. However, I deal with painful plantar fasciitis so shoe shopping is never easy or fun for me. I control weight and flab through going to my exercise class-60 minutes of intense cardio and weights, three times a week-and then gardening like a madwoman. (I’m still a size 12-14, but the flab is firm!!) I schedule everything else around those classes and never miss them. I literally hardly ever sit still. This has not prevented arthritis, psoriasis, plus a few less mentionable female issues. We deal with it all as best we can. I think aging should teach us about patience and compassion and living with grace. We all could do with a dose of that…
I love what you said…it teaches us to live with patience, compassion and living with grace. AMEN!
I am so inspired by you! You help me to work to live my very best life possibl, even though I have all your challenges and one or two more! Thank you fo sharing and know how much you mean to so many of us!
That means the world to me, Brenda…and keeps me keeping on! Thank you so much.
Your candid post is timely. A trip to the dentist and sleep apnea was diagnosed. For $20. my dentist office has a light, portable, simple to use sleep monitor. After one night, you return it and they download data. It monitored pulse, oxygen, tossing and turning and how many times I stopped breathing. I have “moderate” sleep apnea. The dentist makes an appliance which keeps the tongue from blocking and cutting off oxygen. I’m 57 years old. I knew little about sleep apnea until recently! It needs attention as it causes serious problems. We are all dealing with or know someone dealing with “stuff”. I enjoy my peers as much as always since we can relate, laugh and cry. I hope to “Keep Calm and Carry On”. Thanks Pam. I do like your outfit and handbag!
Thanks Linda. My husband has sleep apnea so I know it well. I tell people I sleep with Darth Vadar! He wears the mask! LOL…I know it is fun to enjoy this stage of life with our friends who all have their own stuff…so true.
You look lovely in these colors, Pam! Now that I am retired, I have the time and common sense to see my challenge areas as physical health, mental health, and spiritual health. Did I leave out anything?? One thing I do to help my challenge areas is read your blog! Thanks so much.
You are so welcome, Dorothy…I think you covered it all!
Thanks for being honest Pam! My body feels like it’s falling apart pretty fast these days. Letting myself go is not an option. I do my hair and makeup everyday then dress to feel confident. It helps
It does help a lot…thanks Jennifer.
Thank you for keeping it real! We all go through changes as we age and I appreciate your attitude. I am 68 and feel great!
Good for you, Lynn…Have fun!
You are so real and relatable to all of us! I always feel encouraged after reading your blog; inspired to embrace my age rather than feel discouraged by the challenges. Thank you, Pam. This post in particular came on a day when I needed a positive sentiment. I appreciate you so much!
I am so glad it came at the right time, Mary. Choose joy this week!
You look fabulous in this outfit! I love your optimism!
Thanks so much, Pat!
Fabulous post! I love your attitude & your style!
Thank you Cindy!
Although at 62 things are definitely “going,” and foot issues make it harder and harder to stand all day in front of a class of junior high kids, I don’t have a loss of confidence centered around aging. In reading all theses posts lately and puzzling as to why, I have decided it’s because I have always been a plus size woman, no matter how many Herculean diets I’ve gone on. And honestly, that reality either makes you or breaks you stylewise. Fortunately, I decided long ago that I would not let size stand in my way, and will happily even wear a bathing suit in public. Plus size women who have decided to be stylish have learned many tricks that come in handy when facing aging issues: how to source stylish comfy shoes, how to boldly accessorize to draw the eye, how to find good fabrics and tailoring to skim those bumps, how to cover an elastic waist, how to get structure in the all-important third layer, and how to wear makeup so as not to look sloppy. I can honestly say, though most of America would disagree, that I look fine most days and better than fine on others. How others see you is their choice, and how you see yourself is all, and only, your choice.
Great advice, Linda. Thanks so much for sharing it!
Thank you for your honest but uplifting post. I’m sure there are days when we all look in the mirror & wonder “What the heck happened!” As a friend of mine who has battled cancer off & on for thirteen years reminded me last night, we just need to take life one day at a time & live each day to the fullest.
Exactly, Becky…what I usually say word for word!
On a recent trip to England, I was visiting the home of William Shakespeare and on an old tree was a sign “I am old and fragile, please do not shake my branches.” This has become my montra.
This post was so inspirational! I am 63 and feel comfortable and confident! I have battled skin cancer for years and sometimes have to cover up scars. It’s all about attitude. I want to be a role model for my four daughters and you gave me such a boost of optimism. Blessings!
Thank you, Donna! So glad it gave you a lift!
I love analogous colour so for me there is no colour clash! Jacket, bag and glasses… all one wonderful colour story. Thanks for post.
Thank you Pam. I so needed to read this. I just turned 68 and have really been down on myself lately. I have a very curvy hour glass figure that I have always found difficult to dress. The extra pounds certainly don’t help! I found your words inspiring today. Off to “shop my closet” to put together a fabulous outfit and a smile on my face. Enjoy your day!
Have a wonderful day, Ann! Thanks for being here!
Thank your for today’s post–your positive attitude is inspiring. Check out this site http://www.hookerearrings.com for Barbara Barnett’s Hooker (pierceless) Earrings. Be sure to look at all 6 pages for the many style variations. I have worn this style of earrings for over 20 years and continue to receive compliments on them. My current favorite is “Escargot Square” in the large size.