How to Wear Khaki Pants Over 50

I wanted to call this post HERDING ELEPHANTS, but decided instead to offer other women over 50 assistance with how to style their khaki pants.  You see, the fact that this Chico’s tunic top (I found at their sale last weekend) has elephants on it is actually symbolic for me.  First the khaki pants….Wearing khaki is a great alternative to white.  These pants are from JJill purchased at the beginning of the year and I like to wear them most with a vibrant color.   Other than the top, the only thing new in this photo are my Ted Baker Sneakers from Nordstrom Rack…I love Nordstrom Rack more and more every time I stop by their online or store front locations.  Top brands for a song!  The necklace is one of my cherished pieces from Soft Surroundings and the purse from my favorite local resale shop, The Garment Exchange.

Now to the elephants….I have written before that my relationship with my mother was difficult.  Sadly, it remained difficult until the day she died. I began to gain excessive weight when I began to have children.  One Christmas during that time, she gifted me with a huge, oversized sweatshirt with an enormous ( it covered the entire front) elephant on it.  She wanted me to be reminded of how I let myself go.  I don’t respond well to that type of “assistance.”  In fact, it made me want to eat more.  Her constant criticisms were a big part of our relationship issues, and something I eventually had to decide to put in my past and leave it there.  When I went through my reinvention at age 50, I did it for me and no one else.  Choosing to leave the criticisms behind was a big hurdle to being able to go forward …..with a smile.

 

I did not notice the print on this top until I got in the dressing room.  I grabbed it for the color and style.  But when I put it on and noticed it was elephants I just had to laugh.  My elephants were finally herded and under my control.  I love the top for many reasons, but for that reason most.  Elephants done my way!!

Like this rose, none of us are perfect but possess our own special type of beauty.  No matter who you are…what age, what size, what physical challenges…you can choose to accept yourself and enjoy who you are, right where you are today. I am so glad I finally learned this and let go of what other people think.  I kind of wish I still had the sweatshirt…I threw it in the trash years ago, did not even donate it.  I never wore it, but I am proud to wear this one!

KEEP SMILING, EVERYONE!!

It is my favorite time of year to shop…sales everywhere.  Yesterday, Chicos added to their items on sale.  I put a few new things here…you will not believe the jewelry prices…and I added some sale items from Soft Surroundings.  Remember two things about July shopping, you see garments for all seasons on clearance (good time to get some winter items) and the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale (the first sale prices for Fall 2019) is July 12.  Lots to think about.  Have fun!  I couldn’t resist not to begin the slideshow with elephants!!

 

24 Comments

  1. Oh Pam, what a story! I absolutely love how you took something so negative and turned it into something positive and stylish! My relationship with my mother (still living) has been difficult (she was very critical of me, but now with Alzheimer’s has stopped that), so your story has me thinking of ways to do what you did and flip those comments! Thank you!! I like the khaki and blue together, and like the elephant print top a lot. It looks so cool for summer. I have those pants in black (of course!) and wear them often. I like the seam in front. Khaki goes with everything and looks refreshing! I’m going to be checking many of those necklaces from the slide show and LOVE that orange bracelet!!

  2. I love Chicos clothes and the good deals that are available as a passport member…like free shipping ALWAYS! I have seen that top and loved the color…wasn’t sure about the elephants though. It looks glorious on you! The color is divine and I love your story. My mother issues are with me also…I am always glad that there are others in my position who understand that not all mothers and daughters are best friend in life. Now I must go look up that top on Chicos!

  3. Loved the story and the significance that these elephants have to you. You have come a long ways and every time you see this top you are reminded of the victories in your life!
    Lisa 🙂

  4. This anecdote really struck me: how you were able to change your mindset after so many years of negativity. You’re an inspiration!

  5. Because my mother was so hard on me, it taught me to be a better parent. My son turned out to be a gentle man who still comes to visit with a warm smile.

    Thank you again for recommending WW. It’s going well and I feel a lot better in my clothes.

    I am a huge Chico’s fan. The color of the top is beautiful on you.

  6. Dear Pam, Thank you so much. This was an answer to a restless, anxious, sleepless night. How did you put your relationship in the past? I have to face four people next week. My last chance to “go home”, last chance at finding “peace” with my memories and these folks. Would you have any suggestions? P.s. your hair always looks terrific!

    1. Diane, I am at work and it is busy. I am going to respond to you. Maybe around noon. Hang in there!

    2. Hi Diane, I know exactly what you are going through and, even with my mother gone, I do not know if I will ever be 100% over our past. But here is what helped me:
      1. I began to understand that her criticism was about her and not me. She was the daughter of an alcoholic, so I reminded myself of that.
      2. I chose to spend less time with her. And I did not allow others to make me feel “obligated” to spend more time with her. I chose to do what was best for me. You have to be your own advocate.
      3. I constantly remind myself that life is short and I want to live each day with joy. Joy is a choice.
      4. Whenever I was given a harsh criticism about me, I counterattacked with the positive and remind myself of the good.
      5. I have a deep faith and my relationship with God is my foundation.
      I hope some of this helps. Feel free to email me over50feeling40@gmail.com.

      1. This is really helpful. It’s a real lesson when we’ve experienced this with a parent. My goal was always to be supportive and encouraging with my two sons, and now extending that to my daughters-in-law and my three grandsons. Learning the lessons can be the positive take on this issue. The change starts with us. Thank you for such sound suggestions!

  7. Oddly it was my dad who let me know when a pound was added….he was a cartoon artist and could nail ya! With love!
    Took a long time to let it rest. In second grade when friends got boxes of candy I got a valentine with an elephant! Never forgot it the boy who sent it!
    I wear khaki with black mostly…..too hot here for any long pants!
    Chico’s had great winter travel pants on sale! I’m going back for an off white pair!

  8. This is a wonderful story Pam! If we are fortunate we gain wisdom and confidence with time and commitment to ourselves. Yours is a real success story! Wear your herd proudly!

  9. Pam, I’m so glad I opened this post. God can heal our hurts and it sounds like you’re on the other side of the journey. Thank you for sharing. I can’t imagine any mother ever believing that kind of advice would be remotely helpful. I love your top and your honesty.

  10. Pam, you always inspire me on so many levels! Thank you for sharing with such depth and honesty.
    I know you know this… God is faithful!

  11. I realized that my mother’s criticism of me was a repeat of what her parents did to her. I broke the cycle. It meant not affiliating with my mother’s side of the family. So be it. My life, my rules.

  12. Oh thank you so much for sharing your story … I’m sure it’s difficult to think about. But, you’ve managed to turn something negative into a positive and that’s an inspiration to us all!!!

    From the posts today, I’m not the only one who feels blessed to have found your blog!

    Love the outfit today, especially the top. Elephants are my favorite animal and blue is my favorite color so this is a win-win-win post all the way around today!

    Happy 4th, Pam!

  13. Pam!! This has to be one of my favorite posts!! Thank you for sharing your relationship with your mom and how you overcame that.. I love the blue top!! I hope they have some left at Chico’s!!!

  14. Pam, Anger is such a wasted energy. You turned it around into a positive. Love,love, love your blog.

  15. My heart broke when I read about your mother. I am happy her negativity no longer has a hold on you. I love your blog.

  16. That is a sad, sad story. Sounds like you’ve moved past it. The blue top looks great on you. Hugs if you want them.

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