Cultivating Everyday Elegance: Learning to be fabulous over 50

Soft Surroundings Metro Leggings on Over 50 Feeling 40


Happy Friday, everyone!  This is the day where I discuss my journey to be a woman of elegance, what I am learning, and how I apply it to my life over 50.  Today we are talking about how to be fabulous…yes, fabulous.  Sadly, the word fabulous is like elegance…it is most often associated with those of great wealth, fame,  or royalty and the majority of everyday women believe they will not ever know it.   But,  I believe we are ALL fabulous and need to learn how to own it.

First a note about today’s outfit, I feel fabulous when I wear clothing that fits and says what I want to tell the world about me.  It is so great to see the options in my closet again that speak those things. Before last Saturday’s purge, it was difficult to find and see everything.  This is an older linen jacket from Chico’s paired with a white V neck Traveler’s tank, and my Metro Leggings From Soft Surroundings.   The necklace is also vintage Chico’s.  So far, I have not been ready to part with many items in my jewelry…it is like saying good-bye to the fun crowd in the group!  I still want to party with them.




The book that had the biggest impact on me at the very beginning of my reinvention at age 50 was The Essentials of Fabulous by Ellen Lubin-Sherman.  It is so inspiring and shows us how we are easily in the “fabulous” category…understanding it and then owning it are the keys.


She explains that there is no fast lane to fabulous, but it is a journey and I think goes hand in hand with truly elegant women.  Ellen writes that there are 11 key traits of a fabulous woman:

  1. They are passionate about life.
  2. They are delightfully authentic.
  3. They are revered for their amazing attitude. (She writes, Attitude is Everything)
  4. They are warm and completely accessible.
  5. They have flair.
  6. They have impeccable manners
  7. They are competent.
  8. They just “get it.” (a level of empathy and compassion born out of deep understanding of the human spirit.)
  9. They have big bandwidth. (Comfortable with everyone…all types of people)
  10. They are vivid virtually. (How you communicate from emails to hand written notes)
  11. They have a board. (People you listen to and are open to their advice)



Just doing this short review makes me want to re-read the book…which I have completely marked up over the years. It is inspiring and teaches us things we can all do and aspire to do.

Fabulous Women are Elegant Women.





Ellen writes, “The only antidote to getting crepey is attitude – an amazing and life affirming attitude toward yourself and the people around you.  This is what makes people ageless.  And get this: When you’re fabulous you will never have to worry about wrinkles again.  They’ll be irrelevant.”


I guess this is why the fabulous designer Diane Von Furstenberg does not worry about wrinkles.   Here is an article explaining DVF Loves Her Wrinkles.

I don’t know if I am at that stage quite yet, but here is a little homework for all of us.  Let’s begin with strengthening the love we have for ourselves.  Ellen recommends writing a love letter to yourself.  At least write down all of the wonderful qualities that make you, you.  Write as many as you can….no negatives.  Post them somewhere you will see them often or save them to a special file in your computer called THE FABULOUS ME.

This is another excellent step for our beginning- to- be -elegant -journey.  Many of us here are starting new phases of life…let’s make sure we do it with incredible attitudes! 






Today is my beautiful daughter’s birthday.  She is truly a woman of strength and dignity.  She is incredibly intelligent, and the perfect mom for an active group of three young men all under age 7.  She is so talented and fun.  I wish her the best birthday ever!! I miss her and her crew.

OK, is anyone out there struggling with believing that you are or can be fabulous…or elegant?  Please share and let me know how our journey together is going….





Cultivating Elegance on Over 50 Feeling 40



Pamela Lutrell for Goli GummiesThere are several ways that I generate income through this blog in order to cover business expenses and give myself much needed income.  Purchases through the slideshow links is one way, ads on the page is one way and a new way is through ordering or re-ordering the GOLI Apple Cider Vinegar gummies through me with my GOLI LINK HERE.  Again, if you are not familiar with the benefits of apple cider vinegar, you should speak with your personal physician.  My husband and I are sold on the benefits and I am proud to represent this product.  I am going to leave this at the bottom of my posts so that when you, friends or family would like to order you can use my link.  Thanks for the support.  This is a great product; as well as, the ones below!


Mr. B and I love our meals from Sun Basket!

Sun Basket on Over 50 Feeling 40


Sun Basket is a delicious, easy, fun home delivery meal plan


My Complexion Loves Chamonix…My esthetician says my complexion is super tight!

Chamonix on Over 50 Feeling 40


All natural, plant-cell technology skincare


By Pamela Lutrell


  1. First of all, a very Happy Birthday to your daughter! Great picture with the boys in their patriotic shades, and her hat!

    There is a lot to think through in what you wrote. Reading through the 11 points…what I can honestly say is that there is work to do! Sometimes it depends on the day, but overall I can see the areas that could use a lot of tweaking. Interesting article about DVF. She, to me, always seems so serious, and that picture kind of speaks to that. I’m not quite there on loving wrinkles, but I’ve definitely made my peace with getting older and experiencing changes.

    I’m leaving this morning for a week of camping with my family, and we will have no cell service or Internet where we’re going. While this is just one reason we love being at this particular park, it can limit my reading! I’m going to cut and paste today’s blog so that I can spend some time sitting by the fire thinking more about what you’ve written. This certainly is a process and a journey, but I’m excited about the result! I do want to bring out the elegant, graceful and fabulous lady who lives inside me!

    1. Have fun, Karen! Will look forward to your return… and happy to give you some things to ponder!

  2. You look fabulous in this outfit! I’ve ordered the book and I’m looking forward to thinking about all this more over the rest of the summer.

  3. Fabulous, indeed ! I love how you mixed the elevated linen top (and the necklace) with more casual jeans. Natural and chic. And please, please, keep your necklaces, they are wonderful and such a distinctive feature.

  4. I love that outfit! You look elegant and sophisticated. I, too, have several vintage Chico’s turquoise necklaces and will never part with them! Thanks for guiding us on our journey to being more self-confident and acquiring elegance!

  5. Just ordered the book.Looking forward to reading it.Hope it helps! I too find ti hard to part with favorite pieces of jewellry,especially if it’s good stuff. One puts so much into these items,whether is was one’s mothers or gifted by someone you love or just a plain impulse. Chicos is the best!I have found two shops that can also make what I need/want. JTV had lots of interesting beads that can be combined,etc with other items .
    Loved the pics of your daughter and her sons. We are off tomorrow to NC to meet our beautifuldaughter,her husband and their 4 boys. One 10 and triplets who are 5. Hopefully cooler weather then here in Fla. Advice to your column-what is a cute way to wear a mask? That seems to be the newest accessory du jour. I am sure I am not the only one out there who likes to coordinate what I put on me daily!.Best, stay safe.

    1. Thanks Susan! Have a great time with your family…your daughter also sounds like a woman of great strength…love those boy moms!

  6. Ya know, Pam, I’m really impressed with how you are pursuing elegance and *succeeding* at it. I think your refined look makes you appear more youthful and confident. Kudos to you for identifying and pursuing what you want to do with your appearance, attitude and life. Happy birthday to your daughter, she has your smile!

    1. I agree..less bangs…with heavy bangs AND glasses we only see your wonderful smile..
      lets see more of your pretty face.
      A more elegant hair style?

      1. I should never post pictures the week before my hair is due to be trimmed and shaped up (It grows fast)…but, the nature of this thing called blogging is that I do. Glad you guys like my smile…that is the most important part. I just am never going to wear my hair up…it is not a confident style for me, but I agree is elegant on many women. We will see if I reach the goal of being elegant…but, my hair may not change much…though I am not saying it NEVER will. I did lighten up the bangs when I was in the salon this morning.

      2. Updo’s aren’t elegant on every woman. It needs to be in proportion to a woman’s face and silhouette.
        I can’t picture anything less like Pam’s style than Audrey Hepburn. Perhaps Elizabeth Taylor or Sophia Loren…
        Style icons are for our inspiration and the wise woman knows which ones suit her style.
        More to the point an elegant woman wears what she knows suits her style and she wears it with confidence and aplomb.

  7. I really like your outfit. My first impression was graceful and soft. Thank you for all the information. Lots to think about and incorporate in my life. Happy birthday to your beautiful daughter and those cute boys!

  8. Awww, happy birthday to your beautiful daughter! I agree, she has your beautiful smile! Thanks for sharing that picture. I look forward to reading your blog each day, so fun! Have a blessed weekend!

  9. Happy Birthday to your lovely daughter. Being a mother to three small boys is not for the faint of heart.
    Fabulous is not an adjective that I have ever associated with me or my life, or have I ever wanted to be fabulous or live fabulously. I’m not sure why, but I have a negative connection to the word fabulous. Maybe it is an ingrained idea that it means being rich and living extravagantly to the excess. I may have to revise my thinking and look at this adjective from a different perspective.

    1. Thank you for being honest, Becky. I think many women feel the same. But, I hoping to change the perspective so we can see that we are fabulous…and, of course, elegant…no matter our lifestyle or age!

  10. Thanks for sharing your journey for Elegance. I went to my library and pulled out the book, “The Little Pink Book of Elegance”. By Jodi Kahn.
    Blessings to you.

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