How to Cultivate the Elegant Life on Over 50 Feeling 40

Hello, everyone, and welcome to my weekly focus on Cultivating Everyday Elegance as a woman over 50, who was not raised amidst elegance and desires to learn it later in life. This choice to become a woman of elegance is real and at times not that easy! I am working to change thought processes and behaviors which have steeped inside over the past 67 years.  But, I am determined to learn.  One of the benefits of the past four months has been the gift of time….especially time at home.  Time allows us to look more closely at decisions from the past and to consider if those decisions were made with prudence or in haste.  I am beginning to understand how detrimental my overly active lifestyle has been to my personal style.  This is another reason why I long for the elegant life.



Eileen Fisher Pieces on Over 50 Feeling 40


With that determination, I must constantly reset and also be willing to say when I messed up and learn from my mistakes…of which there are many.  But, humility is required in order to be teachable.  In order to go forward, I have had to look intently at the past.  Right now, I am speaking mainly about what I wear. I was asked this week to give an opinion on Jennifer L. Scott’s 10- piece wardrobe philosophy.  This exercise caused me to also go to a couple of other “capsule wardrobe”  systems, which all  led to the same destination…my closet.  It is a little scary in there. (And I already removed a chunk of it! That’s sobering.)

I truly want to become a woman of elegant simplicity.  A woman who lives by LESS IS MORE.  Therefore, there is much to be done.  I am still pondering and processing all of the information I have been gathering.

However, I am willing to admit where I think I got off track in the last few years:

  1. Dressing for the Job: I have been dressing for work with the sole intention to appear younger than I am.  I wanted to be respected but was trying (maybe too hard) to appear younger since I was the oldest employee in my office at that time. I used the adjectives against me each morning by asking if I looked youthful before leaving and if not, I adjusted. My best looks happen when I ask myself if I communicate all five adjectives in one outfit….not simply one.
  2. Dressing for the blog: Too often in the last ten years, I have dressed for the audience and not me. I have dressed for collaborations…or certain themes…or trends…that were solely for the blog and not for me.  But, when you do that often enough, messaging can get murky if you hang on to everything. 
  3. Dressing with too much emphasis on my creative bent: I love all of the creativity associated with communications…I love photography, graphic design, and art.  But too often I have allowed my creative life to direct what I wear….which can be a little out there.  I just need to calm it down a bit.

I believe this whole idea behind Scott’s theories have opened my eyes to some new realities and to many mistakes.  The first and biggest mistake being that I have been dressing lately more for others than for myself. (Elegant women courageously stand by who they are)  Of course, when I write a post which I say features an outfit I created with my five adjectives, I have truly done that.  But, there are times when other outfit photos were meant for reader requests or a collaborations, and not for my personal life.  I know this happens with all bloggers, but I want to truly look deeply at how that has affected me. I am being very real and honest, so you can understand where I am coming from when I begin to blog about wardrobe changes and what stays and what goes. 

Also, over the last ten years my weight has gone up and down.  So, I have a couple of boxes which hold clothing that is currently too small to be flattering, but which I hold hope I will return to soon.  Still deciding what will happen with those clothes.  I am trying to garner the courage to pass along oversized clothing which I often hide in.  I want to once and for all put hiding behind me and focus more on enhancing.

Going forward, I will let you know up front if the outfit is for a special blog promotion, theme, or created for certain types of readers or is it something I truly am wearing in my new elegance focused life.  If it is for promotions or themes, then I may even host a giveaway for the garment (s) so that they do not live in my closet and create confusion.

Today’s outfit features pieces that will stay in my wardrobe: a short EF jacket and V neck tank from Dillard’s; INC skinny jeans and Clarke pewter flats from Macy’s.  I am still wearing my new Beaded Shell Pendant from James Avery Jewelry with silver bracelets from James Avery.  I know many of you do not like to wear black.  But, I am showing you what is Pam-style and that includes black.  There will still be color and a touch of creativity, however toned and refined going forward.



Today's News for Women over 50 on Over Thinking on over 50 feeling 40

One of my life goals has been to be considered a woman of strength and dignity.  Strength is shown in many ways, and one is willingness to listen to criticism, evaluate it, see if any truth lies within it and then learn from it.  That is exactly where I am with this new journey.  It is not easy for a scrappy fighter like me, but grace, kindness, teachability, and humility demand willingness to listen and learn from experts and other women I know.

One of my early style mentors, Stacy London, writes to forget trying to be cute over 50 and go for elegant. “When women recognize and radiate the knowledge of their own value, others will appreciate it and feel drawn to it.”   She wrote, “Reverential allure comes with a woman’s power, wisdom and experience.”  At this age, it is all about knowing who we are and what we are capable of.  Forget the younger women at the office…or anywhere.  (The Truth About Style)

That is what I am going for…elegance with reverential allure.  Which means I need to display courage and strength and just be me!  I feel more like me when I wear elegant, simple styles which balance and stay true to my style adjectives. That is when I really communicate confidence. As recent as four years ago, I felt youthful and fun in very creative styles.  But, not so much anymore…it just may be time to ease some of the creativity and go for simple elegance. I have been walking this fine line for a long time, but it is now time to step over it.

So much more to say…stay with me now…I am set on the goal to prove that any woman can learn to be elegant. I know that I promised to discuss posture today, and I will do that on Monday.   I was so convicted by some of my mistakes lately that I wanted to “come clean” and confess this new journey to elegance was changing me in many ways. As we get more into defining my wardrobe, I will have more to write about the process.   For now, enjoy this retail information with a slide show and join me as I…..


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Kohl’s 80% off Clearance

Nordstrom Clearance Sale – Up to 70% Off

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Pamela Lutrell for Goli GummiesThere are several ways that I generate income through this blog in order to cover business expenses and give myself much needed income.  Purchases through the slideshow links is one way, ads on the page is one way and a new way is through ordering or re-ordering the GOLI Apple Cider Vinegar gummies through me with my GOLI LINK HERE.  Again, if you are not familiar with the benefits of apple cider vinegar, you should speak with your personal physician.  My husband and I are sold on the benefits and I am proud to represent this product.  I am going to leave this at the bottom of my posts so that when you, friends or family would like to order you can use my link.  Thanks for the support.  This is a great product; as well as, the ones below!


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By Pamela Lutrell

















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