Dresses have shoes on my mind

shoes on my mind

YAY…it is Friday…the last Friday of January 2023 no less.  On this Fashion Friday, I want to share how wearing dresses have shoes on my mind.

I know there are several new readers, so please allow me a moment to explain.

Bottom line is that I ruined my feet in my 20s and 30s wearing stilettos.

I did have bunion surgery, but years after that the toes began to curl.

Now, I have pretty significant hammer toes and do not wear heels or wedges at all.

The return to a desire to wear more dresses as the mother-of-the-groom has shoes on my mind.

I do like the look of ballet flats with most dresses…very chic.

But, I only own black ballet flats which are comfortable…so with shoes on my mind…I realize I need more “colorful” ballet flats.

Recently I purchased these Vionic Minna Leather Bow Ballet Flats from Dillard’s in navy…they are very comfortable and go with the new dress I recently purchased at Nordstrom.

I believe I will get a lot of wear out of this pair of flats. 

With shoes on my mind, here is a slideshow of others I have considered:

The green Vionic pair are really on my mind…so I just might purchase them soon.

However, I also want to wait and see what other outfits I pull together for wedding events.


shoes on my mind

These are my gold oxfords from Talbots, and I use them to illustrate what my stylist told me that has new shoes on my mind.

She said it is very current right now to wear oxfords and loafers with dresses.

I am pondering the oxfords and might have to see it, but I am staying open minded because both looks for the casual dresses sound possible.

It just depends on the dresses or styles I select for these events.

There are so many cute flats on the market right now.

When I have shoes on my mind, I must also have comfort shoes on my mind…but here are some that are currently online:

I will write more later about what shoes will go with the evening dress for the wedding…need that dress first.

But, I did find these fun gold sparkly sneakers for the reception…haven’t ordered but may soon!

If you also wear flats with dresses, what is your first preference?  What shoes are on your mind this lovely Friday?

Of course, I will be selecting outfits first for events, but the shoes are the second biggest decision in my Mother-of-the-Groom journey.

A big part of this journey is to share with you my considerations and not just my purchases.

I want outfits and shoes that I can wear after the wedding as well.

Final question, would you ever wear oxfords with dresses?

Thanks for always being such a great sounding board, friends!  See you tomorrow for Would You Wear It and until then…………………………………..



shoes on my mind

When shoes are on our minds, do not forget the Sheec No Show Footwear to go with them…I will have those on my mind as well!

By Pamela Lutrell

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Shoes on my mind


  1. Personally, I’m having lots of fun wearing my dresses & skirts with combat boots. I know the look was overdone in the 90’s, so I like adding a dose of ‘pretty’ to mine instead with ribbon shoelaces. I imagine ribbons could look lovely & formal with other laced up shoes too (like brogues)? For formal wear though, I wear my dresses & skirts with gold flatforms & Dorsays.

  2. Speaking of Sheec, I finally got my bootie pair after they’re not being in stock for a long time. I’ve shared with you before my shoe problem and smaller foot due to polio so I can no longer wear flats or oxfords. I have noticed people wearing oxfords with dresses, but only in photos of clothing models. Perhaps in other areas they are popular, but not in my area of the country where people most often wear sneakers or flip flops with almost everything. I’ll be interested to see your choices. As you remind us, one needs to feel comfortable with what you wear so if your shoes are not comfortable, both physically and mentally, do not force yourself for the sake of “ new?” fashion.

  3. Well I’ve been thru’ the possibilities and have ended up only wearing sandals , trainers or ankle boots . Other flats just fall off which makes me clutch with my toes – and then get foot cramp ! I can just about get away with ankle boots with a velvet skirt but actually have decided not to buy dresses or skirts anymore .

  4. Although a small kitten heel ( very very small) is my favored first choice with a dress, ballet flats certainly work well too. I’d suggest Ballet flats over loafers for wedding events unless the event is super casual! I’ve seen trainers with dresses on young ladies around here abd they do look cute but you’ll have to decide if that works for you! Back to kitten heels- i I can’t always find very small (short ) kitten heels that are affordable. I wore them at my daughters wedding in June 2015. Dressy fabric and expensive! They are back in their pillowcases( little fabric cases) in the box. I’m not sure I still have them! Very dressy and I’m not a dressy person.
    Hoping you find what will work just right for you and your feet. I’m sure you will!

  5. I seldom wear a dress, and when I do for casual occasions, I wear a low profile sneaker, boot, or sandal. I have the Tory Burch Minnie ballet flats and they go with a lot but can be hard on the feet because there is no support. I love oxfords and 100 percent would wear them with a dress, especially a shirtdress for a bit of a retro look and a play on the yin/yang. I like a funkier, more forward looking shoe in general, and also like rather masculine shoes. So I think it’s fine to wear them or loafers. I do think they are less dressy than the ballet flats. However, the dresses you are choosing seem to have a lot of fabric, and I think the ballet flats might be too delicate-looking.

  6. Pamela, Have you tried Rothy’s? I know they’re a little “spendy” but I wear mine all of the time. The Point is my favorite, but they also have a really cute ballet flat. Both are very comfortable! (I don’t think I would wear loafers with a dress, but if that’s in fashion & looks okay with your outfit, who am I to say?)

  7. Hopping in to thank everyone for fun suggestions! I will be in and out again today! You guys have the best comments!

  8. I like ballet flats or pointy toe flats with dresses.
    In the Midwest I haven’t seen oxfords or loafers with dresses. We are hearty and cold so boots/booties are the look here.

  9. I no longer wear dresses either and not sure why I stopped! I really don’t like the bare leg look and perhaps that is why! I am retired now so I mainly wear pants or capris to events and church. I had foot surgery in August 2022 so I am limited on the shoes I can wear as my foot is still healing. I am mainly wearing Hokas right now but I have a lot of low healed shoes that I hope to be able to wear again soon. Your post today had some shoes that I would be interested in purchasing. I cannot wear flats as I need a little more support than that and I do not wear heals so it is sometimes hard to find that is comfortable on that left foot! I have been exposed to more brands since reading your blog and I look forward to reading it every day. Thanks for the inspiration today.

  10. Bare legs…very very few in Texas wear stockings. I am going to work on some color for those whitey legs!

  11. Pam, I’m hearing that ballet flats are really on trend now, and they would be a good choice with your wedding outfit. Maybe in a fun color to coordinate with your dress or maybe a metallic or sparkly pair. Loafers and Oxford are great and look nice with a casual dress or a skirt and sweater outfit with tights. You are going to be a stunning MOG!

  12. I love Vionic flats! I have two pair: one leopard; one silver “snake.” They are pointed toe and I receive positive comments every time I wear them; they’re my “goto” shoes when not wearing my Vionic “sneakers” or Vionic camouflage slip-ons. Typically I make my purchases only when the shoes are on sale. I appreciate the arch support since I have plantar fasciitis. Really like the navy Vionic navy shoes you show….will wait for a sale.

  13. I’d search for a pair of sneakers without the really big athletic looking sole on them. I’ve even had good luck with Keds, you can always put a support in them if needed. I do that with lots of shoes because of plantar fasciitis. Betsy Johnson has glittery ones or metallic ones. Even your slip ons that are metallic would look better than that big chunky sole and lace up. Call me old fashioned, I just don’t see those with a dress. Flats would be better. Investigate Rockport or Cobb Hill. They have some beautiful flats and low heels that I bet you could wear. Buy five or six pairs from Zappos, then return them if you need to. Easy and way less stressful than shopping in person.

  14. I love my Tieks and they come in a multitude of colors. Oddly, even though they have no arch support, I find them super comfortable. I even bought a pair from Poshmark because I decided I wanted a pair in hot pink and didn’t want to pay full price!

  15. Thank you for a very valuable post. The hunt for a stylish and dressy flat that is comfortable is one I find challenging. Age has claimed my arches. As a result, shoes must have a heroic arch to serve. Few brands have the feature to the level needed. But, I’ve three pairs that serve for dressier occasions. The one that never fails to yield an outfit compliments is a neutral near skin toned leather almond toe flat with a black patent leather cap toe. The others, also, have an almond toe. One is black suede with a rose of the same material on the toe. The third pair, also suede, is a muted leopard. I feel the patent leather along with those in suede kick a style up to a dressier level. Still on the hunt for metallic and a luggage brown
    pairs. Having abused my feet while young, my wallet must be opened, now. Taryn Rose is no longer manufactured. They worked wonderfully well. Paul Green works, but styling often leans too casual and bulky for my dressy taste. Friends inform success with Beautifeel. Others share Aquatalia offers classic flats.

  16. A quick spray tan the day before the wedding festivities start is an easy way to get an all over kiss of color. At 59, I had my first spray tan ever last summer and was amazed at how natural it looked. Just a nice glow and not heavy at all. It was so much easier than applying the build up color at home for a week or two beforehand and it lasted a good five days.

  17. I like the dressier options presented in the above widgets for the wedding. Have you considered a sling back flat or mule? I also am unable to wear heels but wore something similar to the Anne Klein Cena Sling Back Flats for my son’s wedding a couple years ago. Good luck!

  18. I read an interview of a “stylist of the stars” earlier this morning on another blog. She recommends FitFlops for comfort. I’ve never worn this brand, but the article included pictures of cute ballet flats and sneakers.

  19. I cannot wear flats because I have flat arches and need the support of an at-least 1 inch heel. Like Paulette, I loved kitten heels and wore them a lot to work. Now I need a block heel for better balance. I would never wear loafers / Oxfords with a dress no matter how trendy it may be. I’m not a loafer person anyway. Once I have my MOG dress for the wedding, I may look into gold or silver sneakers for the reception. It’s an interesting idea, thanks.

  20. Comfortable, affordable, quality shoes are a unicorn these days. I am ISO a real leather, old school, penny loafer. I don’t like the look of athletic shoes, ballet flats, or oxfords with a dress. In the winter I go with boots/booties and tights. In the summer I go with a metallic sandal with a nice stable block heel. It’s great that you have a stylist that “gets” you!

  21. Even though I’m short, I don’t wear high heels anymore and I MIGHT wear loafers with a dress…it would depend on the style of the dress. And I have been wearing Vionics (formerly Orthaheel) for years! I need arch support in any shoes I wear…and found the Vionic flip flop, which saved me – I live in Southern AZ, so it gets HOT here! My only issue with Vionics is that they tend to run wide, so for sneakers I wear Nikes with a Vionic insert.

  22. Choosing the right shoes is so important! Sore feet can take all the fun out of a special occasion. I only wear flats and I’ve seen a couple of sparkly pairs of oxfords that I’d wear with a dress. I didn’t buy them as they were pricey & since I don’t have any special occasions on my calendar, I just couldn’t justify the expense.

  23. I appreciate the picture of your foot wearing sheec footwear. My foot is shaped differently than yours, especially through the toe area. At 68 years old, my feet are not as strong as they once were, and I injured a foot some years ago, so comfort is a must! I look for cushioning and arch support, “flats” with just a little lift at the heel, and a plenty of width through the toes. A very low wedge will sometimes work for me. Living in south Florida, I mostly wear sandals with dresses. I don’t wear oxfords at all.

  24. Ballet flats with elastic ruching all around work for my narrow feet. However, I have to go up a half size when I do this. I found a leather pair in light gold with a sneaker-like insole that give some support while looking dressy on the outside. Metallics are a good choice for special events, if you’re like me and shop for shoes first, before the outfit. I love my ballet flats with built-in comfort insoles.

    Sally Hansen has Airbrush Legs in a shade for you, I’m sure.

  25. Browsing the Dalliard’s ‘American’ website, I find their variety of shoes very impressive. As to the choice in a ballet flat and particularly considering the occasion; IMHO I would opt for a plain style with a slightly more pointed toe than the conventional rounded design that would be more polished even if one was to choose pants to wear, plus can always be dressed up with a clip-on accessory (i.e.: A bow, buckle, hair clip), also has the option of adding your own trim OR dye more easily if need be. Good luck on your hunt! -Brenda-

  26. Love the look of my oxfords and my lugsole loafers. I have paired the oxfords with dresses for years but have only paired the loafers with a pencil jean skirt from Talbots. I have a pair of pointy Rothy’s, but I find they lack the support that my foot needs. I am ALWAYS on the look out for footwear that make a statement. I have used Angelus shoe paint to successfully change the colors of shoes or bags at whim. Have you looked at Sole Bliss or Clarix? I am going to try the Clarix soon. I have my eye on lime. I am loving everything about your posts lately!

  27. I am late to the discussion today, but wanted to say that I cannot imagine wearing a loafer with a dress or skirt because in college a (very rude and opinionated) boy commented that my penny loafer/plaid skirt combo made me look like an old librarian! 😳 I just thought I was looking rather collegiate and preppy, circa 1981. 😉 That’s me and my baggage, though, and you may find the perfect combination of MOG dress + loafer, so go with your best inner voice and it will be the right choice. As to spray tanning ahead of time, I did so once in anticipation of a trip to Hawaii. It looked terrific on the trip over, but once I was in the muggy heat, I noticed my toes and other sweat-prone areas seemed to be more orange/tan, like the spray was puddling. 🤷‍♀️ So I showered and scrubbed, only to end up kind of mottled! Others probably don’t experience this issue, but I have found it easier to slowly build a real tan in the sun.

  28. I enjoyed this article as I have finicky feet. I can only wear flats. For a dressy occasion, I would go for shoes such as the Vionic ballet flats as I think they have a more classic look and would better compliment a dress.
    One more thing —I think you need the green Vionic flats. They are perfect for you.

  29. I have arthritis in my big toe joints and also wear a size 12. Talbots is out for me and now that I’m retired I no longer want to spend $300+ on shoes! But I found Tom’s that fit so well, run the gamut in styles, including a lace & sparkles, and best of all are $40/60 & on sale even less. Outside of sneakers, boots and summer sandals the only shoe I wear these days. Plus the donate $$$ from each sale to charity!

  30. Back to add that the majority of my shoes these days are FitFlop – I have everything from loafers & slippers to boots & sandals from them! They have a variety of insoles (I particularly like the Supercomff), but I would perhaps a avoid the Micro Wobbleboard insoles if you have balance issues – those insoles are meant to exercise your calf muscles as you stride (hence the brand name, since this insole was first popularised in their Walkstar flip flops), but I find that can translate to a tripping hazard on me. YMMV, though – many women swear by the MWB insoles!

  31. If you are open minded, SAS has a few styles that don’t look old. They are very comfortable; go in the store and try on the ballet flats. They have a couple of ones that are dressy and some with an elastic top that are cute. Some of the sandals are great too. Don’t turn up your nose at this shoe because so many look orthopedic. My friend talked me into trying on and I now have 3 pairs and will probably buy sandals there soon. Their shoes last forever.

  32. One thing I’ve learned about being the MOG at weddings is that you need a tote bag, either in the car or under the table. Pick up a pair of heels in a height you can tolerate, and wear them for the photos. They don’t have to be expensive.
    Then sit down, pull out your tote bag, and put on your metallic sneakers, comfy ballet flats or cutesty keds. I had an emergency right before my son’s wedding and slipped on a pair of sandals because I had to walk a fair distance to deal with it. They went with me to the reception and I was so glad I had them. The wedges I had for the photos were not as comfortable as I’d thought they would be and those sandals were a lifesaver.

  33. I love loafers but don’t know if I would wear them with a dress for a Spring/Summer event. With Fall/ Winter wool dresses or skirts I definitely would. I certainly would not wear the ones with the large clunky soles. Remember that there will be many pictures taken at all your events and that they are the ones that your grandchildren will be looking at years from now. How dated do you want to look? I think for wedding events classic is best unless you want your shoes to be the topic of conversation for years to come. Your blue ballet flats are perfect!

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