Describe the woman you want to be over 50

the woman you want to be

Happy Tuesday, friends! Now, stick with me…this is not about this picture…the post is to have you describe the woman you want to be over 50.

I submit to you that it probably is not one of these five women on the display…or maybe it is.

the woman you want to be

Perhaps it is this woman or someone like her.  

What I would like for you to do, is to watch this episode (not too long) of The Trinny Takeover Show.


Then please answer these questions:

  1. Did Trinny successfully help Clare?
  2. Can you identify with Clare or know a woman who does?  Do you fear you have used up all of your bravery?
  3. Is asking you to describe the woman you want to be different from asking you what you want to tell others about you with what you wear?
  4. Are they the same message?
  5. Describe the woman you want to be at this stage of life.

This can be a really helpful exercise for many women…let’s get some good conversation going…..



the woman you want to be

I feel as though I am the woman I want to be at this stage of life….confident, joyful, fun, active.

And, dressing with my five style adjectives has really helped me….polished, creative, approachable, joyful and current.

I would love to do what Trinny London does…helping women look and feel their best in a video would be so much fun.

I know it is fun when I do it here on the blog too…and video if I can ever make it happen, would be even more fun.

I am looking forward to reading your answers…..

Tomorrow will be the news….

And remember the Eileen Fisher End-of-Season Sale is on.

 Hope to see you back then….now…



By Pamela Lutrell


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the woman you want to be


  1. I’ve loved watching Trinny over the years. She is fun, upbeat, and I’ve learned a few tips from her.

  2. I had time this morning, so watched the video :). To answer your questions: 1) Yes, Trinny helped Clare. 2) I believe I know women like Clare. 3) & 4) I think they very closely mesh. 5) Wise, caring, confident, youthful, individual. Haha, the first time I remember having homework from a blog post!

  3. I just watched this episode a few days ago, and now rewatched it in more detail. I have never heard anyone speak about their bravery like that. I do believe that Trinny did help her get back on track. I do feel that my own type of bravery is less than it was in my 40s but perhaps just a softer version.
    I would like to think that my idea of who I am is the same as showing the world who I am through my dressing, but it can vary a bit depending on how I am feeling that day. I still would like to portray the idea that I enjoy being a woman with feminine touches to my look even to run to the grocery store.
    The woman I want to be is confident, relaxed ( not stressed ) and able to enjoy the life I have worked to provide. I enjoy having new experiences with my friends and travelling with my husband and friends as well.
    You really made us think and dig deep for answers this morning Pam. Good job.
    P.s. I have enjoyed Trinny for many years as well

  4. I had never heard of Trinny and this show so it was so nice to watch her transform Clare. I think she really helped Clare see that her figure “faults” weren’t really faults at all! I feel that I focus on my body’s faults some of which are very real. And I would love to dress more trendy and be less self conscious about those faults I have. I try to buy more trendy items (I shop a lot at Chicos). I must say the weather here in hot steamy Florida really dictates what I wear. I bought items last year and this year that I have not worn yet due to the heat. I bought some really nice long sleeved and 3/4 sleeve linen shirts and cannot bring myself to wear them! It is just too darn hot! It’s so sad that I cannot wear any of these until like December! How do you cope with the heat in San Antonio? does the heat there dictate what you wear? Also, I want a long sleeved linen white shirt. Does Eileen Fisher have the softest linen? I am finding Chicos linen to be scratchy. Thanks in advance!

  5. What an awesome video. Thank you Pam for sharing. So happy for Clare and seeing the change in her confidence with the changes to her skin, hair and clothing!!

  6. I have the chills. Clare is a beautiful, vibrant woman who was putting her light under a bushel basket. We all need a little guidance sometime. I feel I am braver now than in the past because of life’s experiences. But I still have a way to go, and the help from others, like Pam and this community, is invaluable! I hope my mode of dress and a smile show respect for those around me and says I am fun and approachable . We’re all in this together, and we need help from each other.

  7. I, like Diane B, have a softer version of bravery these days. For decades I have made a 1,000 mile drive alone to visit my family in Colorado. I used to stop for one night along the way, but now I stop for two to make sure my energy remains high. Once in Colorado I am the same mountain “girl” I have always been. I wear lightweight hiking pants, a pretty graphic tee or maybe a shell with a collared hiking shirt tied at the waist. My hair is very thin so I always have a baseball cap on. I walk/hike about 10 miles a day. Since I am away from my Pilates teacher I do my own workout at a playground. I can still swing on the monkey bars and hand walk on the parallel bars, though I can’t go as far or as fast as before. At age 74 I am the woman I want to be at this stage of life. I do recognize, though, that things change, and I pray for the strength and resilience to flow through the years.

  8. 1. Yes, Trinny helped Clare, though I was a bit surprised at her method. Some of the things she had Clare try on at Zara were too big – the white sleeveless top was several sizes too big, and it gapped at the armholes. Other pieces – the gold fringed skirt and the floral suit – were completely over-the-top. i have no idea where Clare could possibly have worn them. I suppose Trinny was trying to push Clare out of her comfort zone – way out! I would have immediately chosen pieces that flattered Clare’s coloring and her enviable figure.
    2. I do know people like Clare. They seem to have given up. A seamstress I used to go to even told me she had given up. She is younger than I by 5 years. She told me she had a husband who loved her, so it didn’t matter how she looked. I am nearly 69 and I still very much care how I present myself to the world. I think it is sad to believe that one has used up all of their bravery.
    3 and 4. I do think that describing the woman I want to be and asking me what I want my clothing to say to the world are different. I want my (very colorful) clothing to say I am approachable, current, fun-loving, and creative. But, there is more to me than any clothing can say. My clothes give an immediate impression to anyone who sees me, but if you ask me who I want to be at this stage of my life, I would need to go deeper than anything my wardrobe can say.
    5. I want to be a woman who continues to learn and grow. I want to continue to be relevant. I want to continue to become a better and better private music teacher. I love mentoring both my school-aged and my adult students. I would like to be considered to be a person who is growing in wisdom. I still have quite a few things on my bucket list!

    I am happy that Clare’s makeover turned out so positively for her. She’s only 55! I wonder what happened in her life to stop making an effort with her appearance. She has an enviable figure. She seemed surprised by that many times during her episode. I have a hard time understanding why anyone with so many obvious physical assets can fail to see them. But, I am glad that Clare seems to have come around and sees that she can look fabulous.

  9. I love Trinny. I do think she helped Clare but what we saw it was only a snippet. I think it would take a lot of trying on to renew one’s self. I find that I dress a bit too dressy for whatever occasion. I live rurally and my uniform is typically a V-neck Eddie Bauer T-shirt and jeans.
    But, my preference is like button, shirt, and slacks, or even a dress. I love dresses. I have never heard the term bravery when it comes to dressing myself. The word bravery intrigues me in this context. I would like to dress more youthfully/trendy butI feel like I look stupid in those types of clothes. I’m sure that comes from a plus size.
    In truth, I listen to my husband way too much when it comes to my clothing. He was a military man and he likes me to wear more classic pieces. I bought a pink linen maxi dress that was off the shoulder. I loved it, he hated it. I do have to admit that he has a good eye, but is not open to new things in the clothing department.
    I love the idea of stepping out of my box. I know I have things to learn even at 68.

  10. I’m on my Alaska cruise and having a great time! But the ship internet isn’t good for videos, so I can’t comment on Claire. “Brave” is a strong word, one I feel is a little wasted/overused in a style context, but I wouldn’t say that’s what happened here since I can’t see it. I think describing the woman I want to be is a deeper concept, though related to the adjectives. I would like to be a woman who doesn’t worry so much, who is more comfortable with activities requiring coordination and physicality, who is inquiring but content, who is relevant and wise, who is funny and yet sincere and caring, who is creative and willing to take risks. Long ago, I decided that whatever my size (which goes up and down), I would not avoid activities because of it (I wear a bathing suit in public lol), never use it as an excuse not to present myself to the world as a confident woman. And though I sometimes have to fake it to make it still, I’m proud of being a pretty confident woman. Our style adjectives are a part of our inner self … they are what we show others about our true nature in a snapshot sort of way. I suspect they reveal more about us than we think, but they still do not reach our inner selves; rather, they are an invitation to others who are interested to get to know us and who we are.

  11. Ok, I don’t have time to watch the video, but I will. I have recently been thinking about the question “Who do you want to be over 50”. My one word answer is “Active”. I have found myself saying I’m too old for “X”. I don’t want to look, sound or behave “old”. My mother was always admired for her youthfulness. I need to emulate her.

  12. What an amazing makeover! Loved that hot pink pantsuit. Thank you for introducing Trinny. I love her!! I also LOVED that floral pantsuit.

  13. I had never heard of this program before, so it was a different experience, as I find many of the programs from the UK to be. I do think Trinny helped Clare because she looked not just at the outward person, but who she was inside. Though not in the same way as Clare, I am on journey of self-care & self-discovery. I think I can still be brave when I need to be. Since my adjectives are classic, simple, polished & joyful, I feel my style matches fairly well with who I am. The adjective I would add for the woman I want to be is peaceful. After several tumultuous years, I want my home to be a peaceful haven, & I want my life to be filled with a sense of peace. I don’t think that clothes really reflected that but feeling peace internally can reflect in how I do things & how I look.

  14. 1. Yes; 2. I know people like Claire. I still have lots of bravery left; maybe a little too much!. 3 & 4. No, it’s the same. I think I dress to convey a message about myself. 5. At 72 I am what I want to be at this stage of my life except maybe richer and a better golfer! Ha ha! Is bravery to be confused with self confidence? I’m told I’m brave because I drive on the California freeways; what happens to us as we age and allow too many self doubts creep into our thoughts?

  15. Trinny is new to me but I enjoyed her lively personality and ability to encourage Clare. I was surprised that a young woman of 55 appears older than me at 78 in the beginning of the video. Somehow she gave up on herself. Trinny definitely brought her out of her shell. The shock pieces seemed to help Clare begin to see herself better. The final makeover in the hot pink suit was such a shock to Clare. We all knew she was in there, a lovely confident and joyful woman. She even wore the floral pink suit with a confident smile. The updated hair and wearing a little makeup really makes a difference. At 78, I hold my head high, wear my hair in a current style, watch Pam and Jennifer Connelly for up to date style types and update as my figure matures to bring out the best and hide the faults. It is okay to be the patriarch of my family.

  16. 1. and 2. I was on the fence about Trinny’s encounter with Clare at the beginning, but yes, she helped her. I do know women like Clare. (I never thought of it in terms of bravery, but now I understand it. ) Some clothing swamped Clare and she clearly did not feel comfortable in many pieces. Trinny has her own personality and unique style. I was wondering if she was trying to foist it on Clare. Kathy pointed out that it could have been a ‘method’. Clare did look stunning in the pink suit and gorgeous top at the finale. Wow, it was a 10! Was that a compromise on their part or was it was what Trinny was aiming for? I did not care for the flowered suit on Clare. I noticed in the after photos that she did purchase it. I would have loved to see the transition in her thoughts and the accessories that encouraged her to buy it and make it work. 3 and 4. I think this allows a person to see the connection between the two. Describing yourself is mindful and thought provoking. Following up with how people see you in your clothing choices is an invitation. It is the 2nd step to the same message. 5. At age 70 I am interested in personal style, fit, and colors. I want be at my best, current, refined, and organized. I have never wanted to be invisible. I have always wanted to be noticed, not in a trendy way but in a simple chic way. I particularly channel my mom, dad, and grandmother. I borrow ideas and traits from all 3. Phew. This was a great assignment !

  17. I like to think of myself as kind, thoughtful and, intelligent and helpful. At the same time I’m beginning to take care of my own needs too often feeling I just justify this to those close to me. Does it come across as selfish? Self absorbed? Hope not.
    I think she will help Clare with what seems to be low level of confidence right now? I feel she’s trying to make a connection with Clare at any rate. The clothing segment is interesting!
    The woman I’d like to be is me right now without this celiac disease. Long story. Otherwise I can handle things. Gastro problems are embarrassing and hard to live with.

  18. This was such fun. I had never watched Trinny. Thank you.
    Did Trinny successfully help Clare? Yes, any time someone points out assets and goodness, that is a help.
    Can you identify with Clare or know a woman who does? I know a number of people who seemed to have stopped trying in the style department. Do you fear you have used up all of your bravery? I hope not. However, there is a difference between bravery and discretion. There are certain things I don’t need to do, there are certain styles I don’t need to wear. But being brave is a healthy attitude regardless of age.
    Is asking you to describe the woman you want to be different from asking you what you want to tell others about you with what you wear? What I wear cannot be the end of who I am, but it can be a good start. The very best message to telegraph is good posture and a nice smile. Then non-sloppy clothes that telegraph my style adjectives: Polished, approachable, joyful, current and creative.
    Are they the same message? I hope so!
    Describe the woman you want to be at this stage of life: healthy (admittedly this is a gift beyond what we can do), engaged in all good things, growing, learning, full of joy.

  19. I am so happy to find this show, so thanks for that first off! Oh, Clare . . .I think my jaw actually dropped open when she said “55” was her age. She seemed so much older to me, care-worn. Trinny did a good job in the end with the make-over, as Clare looked Fantastic, and certainly more her true age. I’m certain there is a lot “off stage” that we don’t see or hear, which is what would really interest me. Why had she used up most of her bravery? Had she lost someone, or been dealing with a chronic illness? So much to understand, in my opinion, before you can say unreservedly that a change has been successfully made. The inner life is complex, and I would have welcomed a deeper dive. Nonetheless, I applaud Trinny for being the catalyst/mentor, and Clare for conjuring another dose of bravery to step forward and give her exterior the boost from which her interior will no doubt benefit. Good going, and good luck to her! As to your opening question about the outfits, I do love the tiered red skirt. There is a core in me who will always be the traveler, the Spanish teacher, the lover of people and cultures, and this skirt speaks to her, the girl forever in her twenties and up for some exploration. In my “real” world, I dress much more conservatively, conventionally, a small town doctor’s wife, the neighborhood piano teacher, neighbor, daughter, mother, friend. These elements of my being are just as true to who I am as the wilder side. I want how I present myself to say I am respectable, kind, willing to help. What a wonderful topic today! 👏

  20. I was a big fan of Trinny and Susannah when they were making shows together, but it’s been years since I’ve seen her. I’ve been pondering your questions for a couple of days and finally have my answers thought out:
    Did Trinny successfully help Clare?
    She definitely gave her a good makeover, but I’d like to see how many of those changes she actually incorporated into her life going forward. I hated most of the clothing she made her try on. Clare was right – she DID look boxy in most of that stuff, and the colors were wrong for her. The hot pink pantsuit was flattering, but where on earth would you wear that, especially with the see-through top? Not appropriate for business wear, even with a normal top, unless you work for Mary Kay or Barbie-LOL. More like wedding shower or event wear, I’d say.
    Can you identify with Clare or know a woman who does? Do you fear you have used up all of your bravery?
    I’ve been talking to a friend going through cancer treatment who is feeling like she has no bravery left, and she’s so unhappy with how her body looks after months of treatments. She’s still sick, but now has lost her looks as well as her health. My daily life (single at 64, caring for my 97 year old mom) requires that I be brave; it’s not like there’s really any other option. I’m trying to fix up and sell mom’s house to provide for her care, and serving as general contractor for the entire job. I had to fire a contractor who wasn’t performing but who was also a little crazy. I was secretly afraid of him but fired him anyway!
    Is asking you to describe the woman you want to be different from asking you what you want to tell others about you with what you wear?
    The woman I want to be is a joyful, gracious woman of substance, integrity, empathy and inner peace. It goes much deeper than my outward appearance. I do agree that our clothing sends messages, but in the context of our lives that is much less significant than our character. It’s obviously important to those of us who follow your writing, and I do care about the messages my appearance conveys, but I feel these are two different things, although they should probably not be at odds with one another.
    Are they the same message?
    Describe the woman you want to be at this stage of life. See above! Thank you for making us think about these topics in a more focused way. I just turned 64 last week, so this is a good exercise to undertake as I think about goals for the coming year.

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