How to make life-altering decisions over 60
Happy Monday! Big news today in this post, I am discussing how to make life-altering decisions over 60!
I write over 60 because our life-altering decisions involves both Mr. B and me…he is 65…yes, I robbed the cradle!
But, our life-altering decision will lead to a few changes on the blog, so I share all of this as a friend.
We are moving out of San Antonio to a much smaller town in West Texas at the end of September.
To say this is life-altering is really an understatement for Mr. B.
The only time he has lived outside of San Antonio was college. He has been here is entire life and still hangs out with elementary school friends.
Our family includes two sons and five grandchildren here…so this has not been easy…and honestly, I think decisions over 60 become much more involved.
Now, please join me as I share how to make life-altering decisions over 60…how, at least, we did it.
HOW TO MAKE LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS OVER 60: ASK HARD QUESTIONS
Decisions over 60 seem to always be clouded in the need for provisions…basic ones and medical ones.
That was the first of the hard questions we faced….how could be care for ourselves?
Our precious daughter and her family have needed us for a very long time.
In recent years, they have found a community they love and have committed to and they desire to share it with us.
She needs us to bring our strength to them.
I raised a superwoman.
She has been working in her husband’s office and parenting three very active young boys.
With our help, she will have more moments to be a mom.
Before now, the big issue was always…how would we provide for ourselves?
Mr. B has worked the majority of time for one of the largest firms in the nation headquartered in San Antonio, and he desired to obtain retirement there.
We knew that it would be difficult to live on our retirement salaries…we both enjoy work…and we did not see how re-locating would provide that biggest need.
That was the first of the hard questions that lingered for awhile.
Then my son-in-law opened his own business and recently it has exploded with success. So, suddenly he needed Mr. B to work with him. Answer to number one.
Of course, I realize that housing is a big part of this first question, but I am going to wait to address this until final decisions are made.
Leaving family to go to family meant I had to ask…WHO HAS THE GREATER NEED FOR US?
And the answer is…my daughter.
My sons’ families have support systems here. Both of their wives are close to their mothers and both mothers are amazing and active in their lives.
However, my daughter has had no local support system. We talk on the phone almost daily, and I believe the greater need is with her.
There is just a bond between mothers and daughters that is stronger and I have always understood that about my sons’ wives with their moms.
Yes, they are all sad, but understand.
Plus, we are just four hours (driving) away…with two grandchildren to be born this fall, we will be back to visit soon.
The card I pictured at the beginning of this section was sent to me by my oldest son when he and his new bride went to live in another city after college.
I hope for all them…I will always be home to them.
We will be in touch with our San Antonio friends and be more purposeful to meetup with them…and hopefully have them come visit.
Leigh Ann has already said she wants to come visit and find some new adventures for us.
Once we had the answers to these two hard questions, we knew we were going forward.
HOW TO MAKE LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS OVER 60: FOCUS ON BLESSINGS AHEAD
Decisions over 60 always mean that we have to say good-bye to someone or something or, as in this case, both.
Most of you know how much I love my San Antonio home.
I finally have the remodeled kitchen I have wanted for a long time…the remodeled master bedroom and bath…and the backyard with flowers and greenery.
Neverthless, I have chosen to focus on the blessings ahead and not on what I am leaving. It is a new adventure and I believe will have even more blessings associated with it.
I am choosing to think the same way I did when I lost my toe last November….it was just a toe and not worthy of great depression.
My home is just a house…and I will always cherish the memories there.
I opened the blog today leaning on my favorite red oak in my backyard.
You might remember, I grew this tree from an acorn from a red oak in our first family home that Mr.B’s grandmother had grown.
The house was on Larchmont Street and we all call this the Larchmont Tree. Mr. B and our youngest son re-planted it in rocky soil shortly after we moved to this house.
It is so hard for me to leave my tree.
But, remember I have more to share about housing later…I might have more to share about the Larchmont tree as well…those decisions are still be made.
it is difficult for me to say, it is just a tree…because it is not…but I will smile when I think of it in the future.
I will miss San Antonio as it use to be…it is growing so rapidly (all freeways getting double decks) that the idea of a smaller town is very appealing.
Just going out shopping here now is a big time commitment.
So, think of me as a living, breathing “Hallmark-movie”…big city girl discovers the blessings in a small town!
Another blessing is that I want to start a tradition of all of the grandchildren spending a week with us every summer in our new home…we will call it Camp Gigi.
And isn’t FaceTime the most wonderful blessing for calling those you do not see as often?
HOW TO MAKE LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS OVER 60: PRAY OVER EVERYTHING
I know beyond a shadow of doubt that this decision at our ages is what God desires for us to do…through prayer I have a complete peace about it.
He also shows me time and again He has this…the things that are happening around it are obviously His Hand.
I will share more about that later.
I was praying about it last week and looked up to see this cross shadow on the lamp..it is a little thing, but means so much to me.
When I chose the word “Strength” as my word of the year for 2024, I thought it was only for me to focus on strength through recovering after those two surgeries.
But, God knew…I would need the most strength that I have needed in awhile to completely move to a new city.
I would need extra strength to help all family members support us with what I believed God is taking us through.
Strength is definitely the word of the year when life-altering decisions over 60 are on the table.
HOW TO MAKE LIFE-ALTERING DECISIONS OVER 60: THE BLOG
How does my life-altering decision affect this blog...I hope to make it better!
We are headed out to a much smaller town, so I believe there will be more lifestyle-type posts than fashion…but I will continue to do fashion.
In fact, tomorrow, I will post about how this decision affects my own wardrobe choices.
I want to take you with me on this transition and what I am learning and doing in going from point A to point B.
The reason I chose to tell you now, instead of waiting until we get there, is so I can discuss all that is going on and how it affects my life.
I hope you will stick with me as we move forward…I plan to blog every day as always…except for the week of the move…but I will let you know if I am overwhelmed.
I am attempting to clean out a house of over 20 years…visit friends and family…and get in all of my doctor’s appointments…dentists, nails and hair.
My desire is that somehow reading our process for how to make life-altering decisions over 60 has helped those who might be facing similar decisions of their own.
Thank you for being my good friends…please leave any comments that you like…tomorrow I will discuss my venture into a smaller-town world with my wardrobe in mind.
Until then…..
STAY STRONG & KEEP SMILING!!
By Pamela Lutrell
For all your shopping, please use the links on my SHOPPING PAGE…thank you, thank you to all who shop this way. These provisions are very much needed now more than ever.
I woke up in the middle of the night and wondered if your ‘big announcement” post was up yet, and I’m so glad I logged in. I’m delighted to be the first of many to send you prayers and best wishes for this huge transition. I know you and your family must have given this a great deal of prayerful consideration, and that God goes before you as you head west. Since I am contemplating a move to a much smaller town an hour farther from everything in my life, your transition is especially significant to me. In fact, I’ve been praying for wisdom and discernment regarding the location for my forever home, so your post feels like a sign of sorts. I look forward to seeing you acclimate to your new surroundings, and I know what a blessing you will be to not only your daughter, but to your new church and community. I’m only sad that I can’t get to San Antonio until January, so I won’t be able to treat you to lunch as I had hoped. Can’t wait to hear more about your new locale!
Good morning Pam, admittedly, I never would have expected this to be your announcement as you have demonstrated to us how much you love San Antonio. With your positive attitude you will definitely put the JOY in your new JOurneY. I just keep thinking of the relief your daughter must have felt when you and Mr.B made the final decision to move to help her and her family. What a blessing that is to her family. Your grandchildren will always remember the fun and love that they received at/from you and Mr. B at Camp Gigi. (I predict they will always refer to your new house as Camp Gigi, not just one week during summer.) My MIL always said that she didn’t show her grandchildren love with gifts, it was more important to give them time well spent, because they will remember that, not a new toy. You are going to love not sitting in traffic! I look forward to hearing about your move. Thank you for sharing with us.
Sounds very timely, Lorrie! I hope I can help you guys through this along with you. Where I am moving is much closer to you than San Antonio!
Thank you for the encouragement, Betty. San Antonio has been our home and we will always live and miss it! Time for a new adventure!
Your strength continues to be an encouragement to me (not quite 60+ 🙂 ) and I’m sure many others. God bless and best wishes to you and your family in this next chapter!
Thank you, Diane! I will hopefully be here the whole way!
A house is just that – bricks and mortar. A home is made by the people and love within. Wherever you go will be home to your family and you will be taking the most important thing, memories, with you. Stay strong.
Prayers for strength and success in your move. Five years ago I retired and moved from a city back to my small hometown in KY. I had lived in the same house over 30 years, same area for 50 years. My grandchildren were either out of college or in college. My son and DIL were busy with their careers. I have missed some conveniences, but the joy of living in a small community and participating in activities among my kin and some people I have known a lifetime has been wonderful. I have made new friends and my family has visited as they did when my parents were still with us. You will certainly be welcome to your daughter. I lived far from my parents when my son was growing up, and we them only on visits we made. Your readers will enjoy moving with you.
Pam, what a beautiful message you have shared with us today. As life goes on, we all will need to make life-changing decisions, and your positive attitude is an inspiration to all of us. You are going to love your new “Mayberry” adventure. Congratulations and best wishes for a transition filled with blessings.
I will, Kenzie!
Thank you for sharing your journey, Cheryll.
Thanks Marcia!! I think this will be fun!
Congratulations, dear Lady. In reading your post this morning, with my first cup of
coffee, it is so apparent that God’s Grace is and has placed opportunities for you and Mr.B just when they were needed and just when they supported your decisions.
I’m am so excited for all the new adventures and the challenges coming your way.
And am so grateful that you are sharing this with your readers as we will follow along with your journey.
Again, congratulations.
Thank you, Rhoda. God has certainly directed this moment.
Your announcement definitely involves one of the biggest changes we encounter in living: moving. Some might find moving an upheaval, but it can be a housecleaning of the soul. A positive forward direction in life… I am so blessed to have found your blog – your spirit of joy, resilience, strength, grace, and reminders of what’s important in living our lives resonate with me, and I suspect, your other readers. I look forward to accompanying you on your journey. God bless you and all your family, Pam.
A small town is wonderful and friendly. I moved to my final resting place 12 yrs ago. I was excited love change and now I just turned 69. I was 57. It’s soo nice with my lil country place but still close enough for everything. It’s already grown some so I have everything.
Your new life brought tears to my eyes of happiness and wonder,an adventure wow! Love that for u and helping your daughter. I definitely would do that too.
My husband is 65 also! So we are only 4 yrs apart. He’s my baby lol
Take care have fun!
My daughter and her husband live in Houston, my youngest son in Baltimore and our middle son here near us in the Midwest. Hoping to be a grandmother one day, I’ve thought about the very thing you have actively decided to do. And knowing as you do Pam that daughters are usually closer to their mothers, a Houston move, or at least renting a home for a few months, might be in our future. I can imagine your daughter is thrilled!! Congratulations! Definitely an adventure! Will you be renting or buying? And selling your San Antonio home?
Love your blog Pam!
Good luck with the journey. So many of us have these life-altering decisions to make over the next years, whether for family, financial, or health reasons. For me and my husband, it’s a question of timing. We know we’ll move but are not sure when. My daughter doesn’t have the same pressing need as yours does, but we want to see her more often. Also, as we age, the care dynamic can shift and being near the child best able to help is important. Life, as you say, is altering, and this sounds like a great decision for all of you.
My prayers go with you as you are taking this big step to help your daughter and her family. I know this is a bittersweet decision and that God gives you the strength to make the changes. My own life altering decision began when I was 65. My husband and I decided to leave our beloved dream home to move to a warmer climate with more sun as my seasonal affective disorder was becoming more pronounced. We purchased a house in a community we loved and put our lake home on the market. And then my husband suffered a fatal heart attack. All of a sudden I was all alone and faced with 2 house payments and a diminished income. With God’s help I managed to get renters in the new home and eventually sold ours. I prayed for guidance on what to do next and the answer was to go ahead with the move. On my own. So at 67 I moved from Michigan to North Carolina. It was a huge change and looking back over the past 8 years I can see it was the right decision. Trust in God. I know this will go well with you and Mr. B. I love your idea of Camp Gigi. Four hours is still close enough to see the rest of your family often.
I can breathe. I can think of no better time than the present to bring support, love, and strength to your dear daughter. And any plans conceived in love are the right plans.
Its all very exciting!
Cleaning out a home is a big job. We sold our house on over an acre after over 30 years for a house with a very small yard. Lots of trips to Goodwill and even the dump. I did find several organizations the took furniture for people in need. Good luck!
Oh, Pam! I am excited and happy for you and Mr. B., and for your daughter’s young family. For your sons, daughters-in-law, grands and friends in S.A., what a lovely opportunity for them to come out for those visits going forward. I know you all will make it work!
As someone experienced at living in variously sized cities, but now with 20 years in a rural small town (it was pop. 18,000 when we relocated here, but now boasts 24,000), the pros outweigh the cons. I look forward to learning all about your new place, discovering little gems of shops and eateries, and hearing about your personal journey in your new community. May God bless your entire family.
Oh, my! So exciting! You will bring your passion and joy to your journey, and we will all benefit. I appreciate the respect that you have given your daughters-in-law’s families in this decision. They embrace your sons as their own. Your daughter’s family needs you and they must be so excited, and isn’t it heartwarming to be wanted? I have a few friends that do not have that privilege. I grew up in Maine and retired in Maine on the spot of my childhood cottage. In between we have lived in twelve abodes, six states, six major cities, another country, and now a coastal town. The journeys began the minute we made a decision and we never looked back. What is next? One never knows, but the journeys and their destinations are full of friendships and surprises. Isn’t it wonderful that God travels with you! I am only sorry that I never made it to San Antonio while you were there. Thank you for including us in your move ( and keeping fashion on the list for your blog)!
I am so excited for you. You don’t know what adventures await you and new friends you will meet. Plus it sounds like you will be near daughter and grands. One never knows what God has planned for you sounds like exciting times are ahead can’t wait to hear where you are moving too. Best wishes
That card that your son sent actually made me think. My son said the same thing. They like to go back to the area where they grew up but where dad and I are is home. That is important to know.
What a decision! Yes prayer is necessary in a decision like this. The lamp shade shows that. God is listening. I have a friend who said the same thing about her daughter and sons. The wives of the sons have their mothers but she felt she needed to be near her daughter.
Hope all goes well for you I’m looking forward to taking the journey with you.
I’m probably going to be in the San Antonio area more because my granddaughter is headed to Texas State next week. I was hoping to meet for coffee.
Hope you find a nice place to live.
My husband and I just did this. We moved across the state from West Texas to Houston to be closer to our daughter. It was the best decision ever! That’s how we knew God planned it!! My sister also just moved to a small West Texas town to help her daughter and her family. She is loving being right there for the grandchildren. Enjoy! It is a big decision!
Congrats Pam. This sounds like a very happy decision. I would love to move to a smaller town so it will be great to follow you on this new journey.
Hi Pam,
Oh my goodness, this is a huge decision for both of you. You had so many things to figure out and look at. I completely understand what you are going through mentally. Leaving behind your beautiful home of 20 years, and all the memories that are attached to it. Also moving four hours away from some of your family.
Your daughter and family are so fortunate to have you in their corner of support.
When we moved from Marin County, California it was a HUGE decision. We have had three homes since then and built our retreat in Sedona, Az and sold that after 22 years. Downsizing to one home was so freeing. YES, all the memories of these homes came with me in my heart. As I’ve matured it’s not so good to get too emotionally attached to your home because it makes it so difficult to leave it.
Easier said than done. I still think about our gorgeous back garden resort in Scottsdale. Nothing takes away from the memories because they are etched into your heart forever.
Change is a constant, and there are wonderful people wherever you go. Less traffic will be so nice.
My thoughts are with you as you go through this journey together. A new chapter is about to begin.
Sending you warm hugs.
So happy for you Pam—you are such a positive inspiration. What is done in love will yield a great harvest! You two were guided to make the right decision. What a blessing to be able to move near your daughter and her family! I am 80, and caretaker to my husband who no longer can do for himself any daily activities (Parkinson’s/dementia etc.), have no family in Houston—a son on CA— and many of our friends have either died, moved away, or are in assisted living. I still see the beauty of each day, and concentrate on the positives, and you certainly help me to remain positive.
For Kelley who perhaps will move to Houston in the future, a positive here is excellent and diverse possibilities for healthcare, and availability of many home health care agencies that may be a helpful aid as we age. Traffic is not a positive, but I no longer drive expressways so I am not bothered by that. Everything we need—doctors, dentists, pharmacy, groceries, church etc.— is within 5 miles from my house, something you may consider if you decide to move here.
Pam, I look forward to follow your journey into the future. And thank you for all the time you spend to make the lives of your readers better.
Wow! That is a big change, but it sounds like you and Mr B have thought it through carefully and prayed about it, so I trust that it is the right move for you. I look forward to following your journey and reading about your new adventures!
When I retired in 2018, my husband and I moved from Long Island to California to be closer to our children and grandchildren. Life is a journey and God puts us where we are needed! I have a special relationship with my grandchildren that I would never had experienced had I not moved closer to them. Enjoy this time of your life, Pam! It’s very exciting! I sent via email a sign a friend made for me that says “Home is where you are needed most”. Hope you saw it!
What an exciting life change Pam, sending wishes for all the best to you, your husband and your family! It’s a wonderful thing you’re doing! Thanks for sharing the decision making process, you really worked toward making the best possible choice for everyone. Wishing you joy.
Thank you, Louine…I am so glad you are joining us here. I know this massive purge will be helpful to family later on and it is “housekeeping for the soul.” love that.
You made me smile, Debra. Love those babies!!
I am excited for you as you begin this new season, but I also know there is a certain sadness for you & Mr. B as you leave the familiar behind. You have done the very best thing that you can do by praying over this decision & watching & waiting for God’s guidance. I know your daughter & son-in-love must be excited & grateful that you will be near to them. Best wishes & God speed as you make this move. I’m forward to your future posts about this.
Hi Kelley, I will share more about housing soon. Just waiting on a few details. Thanks for being here.
I believe it will be. It is always difficult to leave family and friends behind. Thanks Maeve.
You are a strong woman, Kathie. Thank you for sharing your story. I could not do this without trusting in God…I know He can see us through anything as He has done for you.
It is exciting, Paulette. But I always hesitate to say I am excited because I leave so many behind. I am though and looking forward to bringing her some rest.
I am in the midst of it right now, Shelia. It is crazy how we accumulate so much over the years. Thanks!
Thank you, Connie…I hope to share it all.
Absolutely, Deborah! I can always use a good adventure to spice things up a bit.
Hi Jan…now that I have shared with everyone the final decision…I will begin to reveal bits of information. Thanks for joining in.
If you are here before September 26, then let’s meet up Paula. Mr. B graduated from Texas State. I am in San Antonio until then.
It is a big decision, but I am so at peace that it is the right decision. I am West Texas bound at the end of September!
I am glad you will be joining along, Mary.
Thank you, Katherine. I just got back from running errands and stressing over the traffic and road construction. I think almost 95% of San Antonio has road construction on it. Crazy. Looking forward to a little less!
Here’s to the care takers! I know how difficult that can be. Thank you for being here Elisa.
So glad to have you join along, Elaine.
I haven’t seen the email yet, Linda…but I got a notice that there are issues this morning with gmail…can’t wait to see it. But I love the quote. I trust God completely that timing, details…all of it is in His hands.
Thank you Brenda!
Thank you so much, Becky…glad you will join in.
Pam – I’m excited for you as you consider what and where the next part of your lives will be! We are considering changes also, but are just in the beginning stages of discussion with family and what it looks like. Prayers go with you as you move through this process – Much love to you!
Hi Kay! Can you believe I am going back to West Texas? I will pray for your decisions as well. Please keep me informed of what is happening with you guys.
Pam, your blog today really spoke to me! My husband and I (well, mostly me) are struggling over a decision to move closer to our kids in a large city with better healthcare from our lake community in the country with a house and friends we love. We are in our 70’s. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I look forward to following your journey and wish you the best!
Looking forward to following your journey. I’m very sick today but my husband is now fever free. Covid can really hit us when we don’t expect it. He is 83 next month but usually very healthy. Health was why we sold our big house up on the mountain and built this ADA home 9 years ago down here just outside of our little town. We love it here and have wonderful neighbors. This was the right move for us. You are doing this move for love which is the best reason.
Pamela – I am so excited to hear about your decision and the process you used to get to the right conclusion. Moving is exciting and bittersweet all at the same time. I truly believe that the most exciting times in life are those times when we do not know what life will look in a year.
My husband and I did a major move in 2021. We left the town I had called home for almost 30 years and a home I loved and moved to a city where we knew nobody. We quickly came to love our new home and have met some wonderful people who have become good friends. There is always room in our hearts for more people — letting in more love and more joy and more friendship does not push out the old — the heart just expands to encompass them all.
It sounds like you have had wonderful times living near your sons and their families and now you will have an opportunity to live near your daughter and her family. All of your grandchildren will all love visiting Camp Gigi! Life is truly good. So happy for you and Mr. B as you take this journey. Thanks for letting us follow along!
I truly hope you feel better soon, Sydney. Let us know how you are doing.
Thank you, Lisa. Well…we certainly do know what this will look like in a year…but I do have joyful expectations!
What a beautiful sign you received on your lampshade. Such a heartfelt post and the comments of others in this community bring me to tears. Can’t wait to follow along on your journey. We moved last summer from our home of 28 years. So good to downsize and de-clutter. Very emotional and tiring, but we can rest another day. A wise friend said something to me at the beginning of our moving journey that was precious to me.
Family Forever, never apart.
Maybe in distance, never in heart.
We live much closer to both of our children now. No grands yet, but hopefully someday. And it’s true, you can find and make all the comforts of home in a new community. We joined a sports center and I now attend aquatic classes five days a week. Moving is a big change, but I know you’ll handle it with grace. Go Camp Gigi!!
Love your comment, Deanna. And the little poem is going in my planner!! Thank you!
Pam, we will be praying for you and Mr. B and your family. Also, thank you for including all of us in this adventure. Strength was definitely a word for you as it has for me. So I am looking forward to reading each day the steps you will be taking, now, while you are moving, and once you work on your settling into the new home and community. Many blessings
Thank you so much Audrey!
Good Luck! You got me through the pandemic and I will keep reading your blog every day!
So glad to have you here, Beth!
Congratulations Pam on making such a big decision! I’m a little late to the party, as we’ve been entertaining company and I’m behind on your blog. Quite a surprise to read this. I’ll be interested in following your journey, as moving is something percolating in the back of my mind. As I live in a small city, it will be interesting to hear about your journey from a fashion perspective. I also look forward to more lifestyle posts, as your talent really shines from that angle. Wishing you all the best in making this major life transition!
Thank you, Barb!