Hit Your Style Sweet Spot: Lunch With Over 50 Friends

Welcome to a new collaboration with Jennifer of A Well Styled Life and Pam of over50feeling40.  We desire for all of us…the grandmothers, the professionals, the retirees, the volunteers… the fabulous women over 50 …to look and feel our best each and every day.  After years of blogging for this audience, we have heard from so many of you about your discouragement and despondency when you look in the mirror every morning.  But, we both know just how transformative style can be and we hope to encourage you with specific, step-by-step guidelines right here every Sunday.  We would like to see all of us empowered with strength, joy, and confidence!

Each Sunday, we will bring to you a scenario we face each week and show you our step-by-step process as we decide what to wear…you will see on our individual blogs how we handle the challenge and seek our personal sweet spot for the day!
So let’s begin…this week we have lunch with girlfriends at a trendy local café…what will we wear?

First, I always consider the venue when making the what- to- wear decision.  For this challenge, I might be meeting friends at a place such as BIRD BAKERY in San Antonio.  It is in a very popular, vintage-style neighborhood and is causal coffee-shop fun. It sits near several trendy fashion boutiques, making this a stylish setting.  So, first always consider location!

Jennifer and I will approach these moments differently which we hope will give you many ideas and perspectives.  Jennifer is an experienced image consultant…and I am a women who went from sad and frumpy to joyful and confident!

When I turned 50, I experienced an AHH-HA moment (you can see the story HERE ) and in the past 12 years, I believe have completely found my sweet spot style. A style I believe says ME, and sends the messages I desire to say with my look. So, I hope it will help some of you to see how I formerly faced clothing issues in contrast to how I face them now.

OLD FRUMPY THINKING: From ages 38-50, I would either turn down meeting friends for lunch or I would go looking like I did every day…old denim, old ill-fitting denim shorts, capri-pants, and over-sized tops, flip flops…sometimes makeup, sometimes not.  Hair usually pulled back.  Right at age 50, I didn’t care, or try. “These are my girlfriends…they won’t judge me and there is nothing I can do to look as good as they do. I am a mess and everyone knows it.” (how I would think)

NEW HEALTHY THINKING:  I Matter! Life is Short! I want to look and feel good for me…everyday!  Now, I know most “experts” say that women dress for women (not really men), but I dress for me!  I do not let the fact that I am in my sixties, slightly pudgy, and on a very tight budget keep me from communicating with my clothing of choice that I am strong, joyful, confident and fun.

OLD FRUMPY THINKING: This will do….this will have to do. I don’t really care (even though I did really care).

NEW FOUNDATION THINKING:  My new way of dressing often centers around neutral foundations with a statement piece made in the outfit somewhere. So, it might be in an accessory or a topper. For this lunch, I began with a black foundation composed of JOAN VASS LEGGINGS and this JOSEPH RIBKOFF BLACK TUNIC TOP with the interesting buttons down the center.  Little details like the buttons can make a big difference in the total look.  Just wearing a plain, pullover tunic would have taken the outfit to a more casual place than I want to be for this lunch.  Also, the V-neck opens my face and elongates my style (which is more slimming). 

NEW HEALTHY THINKING: Hmmm…popular location and I never know who I will meet or see there…opportunities are around every corner. The venue communicates an artistic, creative vibe…so if I wear this wrap (below), I will fit in like a missing piece of a puzzle. This is a more relaxed; yet polished lunch look.  However, I can wear it for work though maybe not a business presentation.  

OLD FRUMPY THINKING:  I believed everyone thought I was a frump and did not look at what I wore, much less on my feet. I did not get pedicures; and went everywhere in flip flops or athletic shoes.

NEW HEALTHY THINKING:  I matter from the top of my head to the tips of my toes!  I do have feet “issues” however, so for lunch with the peeps I would probably wear leather flats.  If I wear this same outfit to a fashion show or work event, I might wear my new BERNIE MEV HEELS just to pump up the look a bit; yet, remain comfortable.  I am not able to wear the stiletto any longer…but I envy those who do!

OLD FRUMPY THINKING:  Handbags do not make any difference.  The bigger the better.  In fact, there were times I carried a grocery bag…sad, but true. 

NEW HEALTHY THINKING:  Every part of me matters.  If I want to communicate I am competent and strong, then I need a well organized, beautiful bag to complete my look.

TA DA!  Here is one idea of how I might dress for a fun lunch with the girls!  I love this new Soft Surroundings ALLESSANDRA COCOON TOPPER.  It is comfortable and oh so, stylish and artistic.  I great way to make a neutral foundation pop! Look for more ideas on SOFT SURROUNDINGS SWEATER AND CARDIGAN PAGE.

Now, for more direction go join my friend, Jennifer, HERE AT A WELL STYLED LIFE..we will be doing this every Sunday, so please send us your questions or suggestions!  I am at over50feeling40@gmail.com!  We love to hear from you and want all of us to hit our style sweet spot!  Also, look for more guidelines on Thursday on a new Pinterest page.

For more Sweet Spot Style ideas…follow me on Instagram at pamover50feeling40 and Twitter @over50feeling40!


Hope your week includes special occasions!


  1. This is such a great series! I look forward to your and Jennifer's posts on Sundays!

    You are so right, how we dress really makes a difference in how we feel and what we project. I am only in my mid 40s but recently really started paying attention to how I dress and it really makes a difference.

    I really like your outfit. The topper is gorgeous – it looks like a wrap but with arms – which is very useful (I have two wraps without arms, which prove a bit difficult to wear and "live life")! Lovely bag, too!

    Have a wonderful Sunday!

    1. Thank you, Andrea! I so appreciate the encouragement! Yes, this is a wrap with arms so it stays in place much better than a traditional wrap or Ruana. It works perfect for lunch with the girls! Have a wonderful day!

  2. Gorgeous! You have inspired me of late. I bought a beautiful shawl for a friend and she asked me if I'd gotten one for myself. "I don't wear them," I responded. Then, I wondered, "why not?" A few days later I went to the Santa Fe shop where I'd bought hers and yes, got one. I'm going to up my fashion game from here on out, thanks to you.

    1. What better place to up your game than Sante Fe…the color and inspiration is every where! Thanks for the comment and I am so glad you got a shawl for yourself!! Let us know how you are doing in your endeavors to up the game, Carol.

  3. Great new series by two fabulous ladies! Pam, I cracked up at your "before" pictures. Think I've been there and got the tee-shirt. Oy vey… Great outfit you selected…very chic…

    1. I really lived in tee shirts for years, Donna and looked like that far too often. Now, I am resistant to tee shirts…every now and then I might stick one under a jacket with denim…but I usually Life is Too Short for Tee Shirts! Thanks for the encouragement Donna!

  4. This is such a wonderful idea for a series Pam. Sometimes we just don't know where to start! You always look so lovely, and are such an inspiration for me!

  5. YOU have a BEAUTIFUL face!I want you to change your photo that appears on the comments because it LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU!!!Your hair color and all is STUNNING!
    You have TRANSFORMED yourself B E A U T I F U L L Y!I applaud YOU!!The scarf rack in the bathroom is PERFECT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!I may copy YOU!

    1. You are so sweet to say these things! It has been about three years since I started using that photo. Maybe it is time for a change! Thanks for the idea. BTW…Love my scarf rack…at least I can see them and get ideas for using them each morning!

  6. What a fun idea! I'm a fan of Jennifer's too and I look forward to seeing what each of you has to share on upcoming Sundays!

    Elaine @ Following Augustine

  7. Such a lovely and inspiring read, Pam! I didn't even recognize you in your first photo. I also dress for me and it has made such a difference over the past few years. Now I wish I had started so much sooner.

  8. Pam, This a fabulous reminder. Sometimes little by little this can happen.
    Love the shoes. Maybe you have some suggestions for night clothes also. Sometimes I know I lean a little toward frumpy but I do want to stay warm and be comfortable. Have a wonderful week.

  9. Hello Pam!
    I am over from Jennifer's blog! I love your down to earth approach to the series by starting off in a souvenir t-shirt and jeans! You wear leggings very well. Your choice of lunch with the girls attire makes you to appear to have dropped two sizes! I look forward to next Sunday with my coffee!

  10. This is wonderful! In fact, I am featuring this post in my weekly Little Bits of Inspiration series on Saturday! I was the same as you once I had kids in my mid-thirties. I figured hat was a mom's life, just getting clothe on was enough and no one expected anything more of me. But I started expecting more at 41 and decided no more sloppy mom-wear. It's just as easy to put together a flattering outfit that is just as comfortable as sweatpants! I am finding that tights and a dress really are just as comfy! And because I look better, I feel better! Thanks for this post! It is such an important reminder to tae care of ourselves and be proud of how we look! Btw, Your black and white look is fabulous!



  11. Great post Pam! I love that you and Jennifer are doing this I dont have kids, but I acutally used to dress always in black. I do think it effected my mood and there are times that I just wasnt as interested in dressing up. I love the poncho in black and white and the print is fabulous on you Also, a smile really lights up the room, and you have it! Look forward to the series

    Thanks for linking up to Turning Heads Tuesday
    jess xx

  12. Well, you've clearly dumped the frump and embraced your stylish you w/great, well…………style!!! As an over 60, I believe now, more than ever, that paying attention to how you look, how you put yourself together and how you present yourself to the world makes every bit difference in the world. I have been preaching on that soap box for quite some time, and you are a perfect example of doing it right.

    Kudos, Pam

    Cheers, M-T

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