Style Tips for Wearing Black, Brown & Confidence: Look #1

Happy Monday, ladies!  I am calling this week Confidence Tips from the Inside Out, and decided to wear black and brown for these posts…since black and brown is a fall trend this year!  I love the combination of black and brown and really feel my most confident wearing it, so around these looks I am going to discuss ways we can be more confident on the inside.


Today’s Confidence Tip is:  LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST

A few of our new followers, ask that I tell my “eyelash” story, and while it is a story of victory, it is also a reminder for me to leave the past in the past.  Bitterness about difficulties in our lives only eats away at our confidence and joy.  Bitterness can age us faster than just about anything.  So, as I tell this story, please know I am not bitter in any way and have left it where in belongs…in the past.

I have no memory of my parents ever liking one another…or loving one another.  I was raised in a very contentious home.  Constant arguing and tension.  Around the age of five, my mother recalled that one day she looked closely at me and I had no eyelashes.  She was horrified. She did not remember seeing me with only part of them or seeing them on my cheeks or pillow case, but she decided they must have fallen out for some reason.  So, off to the pediatrician we went.  I do remember sweet Dr. Holt being completely baffled as to why I had no eyelashes.  He recommended better nutrition.  They did blood tests to see if I had a disease.  No answers, and no eyelashes for 13 years.

During high school, Dr. Holt recommended I put Vaseline on my eyelids every night to lubricate the lids.  I do not remember doing this at home.  I can go to my high school yearbook (and I was one of the editors!) and find a close up of my eyes…just lids, no lashes.  Then I graduated and headed off to college, 6 hours away from home.  I was relieved to get to college for many reasons.  I hated the anger and yelling in my house.  My roommate asked why I was not doing the Vaseline, and I just shrugged my shoulders.  But, shortly after that began to put it on my eyes at night.  It was not long before my lashes began to grow back.  (NOTE: I still use Vaseline today.  I remove my eye makeup with it every night.  Please do not try to convince me otherwise.  I know it is petroleum jelly.  I also know it means alot me and always will).

It was also not long after being away for a few months, that I began to have memories.  Memories of a little girl sitting on her front porch, rocking back and forth while yelling was happening inside, and pulling out her eyelashes.  I had to get away from home to see what nerves and anxiety were doing to me and to watch my eyelashes return as I stayed away.  I did not spend much time at home after that.  Both of my parents are gone now, and my mother was difficult to be around until she died.  She allowed anger and bitterness from an alcoholic home to rob her of joy and her life.  I have always felt sad for her, but had to limit my time around her because of the anxiety her anger created in me.

My thick, long lashes are a victory trophy for me of overcoming a dark time in my life.  I love them and love to play them up with mascara.  But, letting go of the pain of the past and the sadness of the past was so important for me to go forward with joy and confidence.  It only hinders and does not serve us well.  Now, I must also say, that a big part of healing from the past was giving my life to Jesus Christ.  If anyone wants to talk about that part of the story, just send me an email.

Leaving the past in the past is a choice YOU can make right now.  I encourage you to do so if something is causing you to have an unhealthy behavior…like pulling out all of your eyelashes. Life is too short to let bitterness and anger reign.  It is possible to have a joyful, big smile as your number one accessory.


Back to clothes, my excitement was over the top when I learned that black & brown worn together was back as a fall trend.  I love it and feel my confident best when wearing it.  This Eileen Fisher jacket has been in my closet for a long time…it is so lightweight and cool.  I can dress it up, or dress it down a bit like I have done today.  Today I am wearing it with my Joan Vaas Leggings, and a INC tank top from Macys.  I love the silver jewelry with it.  Like me, I feel certain that many of you have black and brown pieces in your closet that you had not considered wearing together.  Get them all out and play with them…you can create some fun styles!

I have created a black and brown slideshow for you below.  Thanks to those who asked to hear the story.  It reminded me of just how special my eyelashes are to me.  I hope this helped someone in some small way.  I will see you tomorrow for Confidence Tip #2…and another black & brown style!



  1. Very powerful story. Your lush lashes seem to me to be a symbol that you have moved way on from the past. This is an important lesson and you have helped me see that we can’t keep looking down the road that’s behind us. Looking back can at times make us feel justified or comfortable, in a weird way, but it’s not the healthy choice. Isn’t it something that our confidence can be robbed if we keep looking back? Thank you for telling this story. The outfit is beautiful. I have maintained that I can’t wear brown, but THIS brown I could. This is so dark with black undertones that I know this can be my brown! I’m bookmarking thus because I honestly do want to add this color. Just such a beautiful outfit!!

  2. Thank you Karen for the support and the encouragement! I love this brown! It is a deep rich color. Happy Monday!

  3. Thank you for sharing your story. It is so important to not let bitterness destroy the beautiful lives we have. Thank you also for sharing that you a great part of your healing came through giving your life to Jesus Christ.

  4. I rejoice with you and your joy about life! By putting the past in the past and your very precious eye lash story. And living a life of forgiveness in Christ.
    Your outfit today is very elegant and stylish. I like everything about it. The necklace ties it perfectly together. Thanks for your blog. xx

  5. I was very moved by your unhappiness as a child, I lived a similar situation, except the conflict expressed itself in total silence. I went to live in another country and put it all behind me. I enjoy life, and especially your blog, what a perfect colour combination, I have a faux leather coat in this shade of brown, I have never worn it with black, roll on Autumn to give it a try. All the best, Gillian

  6. Your story has a happy and triumphant end! Bitterness is defeated with Yeshua at our side. Black and brown looks fabulous together. Love the coat!

  7. Thanks Gillian. I am glad you found a way to get past it as well! Wear that coat!! And smile while you do!!

  8. I’m so glad you were able to overcome your unhappy childhood. I was blessed to have wonderful parents, but I know many who did not – and not all of them could move past it.

    I like brown and black together. Also, navy and black can look great together!

  9. Thank you for sharing your story. It is a testament to your strength and how powerful our faith can be.

    Love the black and brown ensembles that you have shared.

    Blessings to you and family. ❤️

  10. It is difficult to move forward without help. I hurt for those who had a healthy family life taken from them but it is always possible to begin again and create your joy. Thanks for being here!

  11. Like your outfit and especially love your silver bracelets and watch. Any chance any are still available?

    I have noticed that so many of your blazers and vests are longer. Would you mind letting us know how tall you are?

    I have followed your blog for several years and look forward to each posting. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

  12. Thank you Esther. I am 5’8 and I do prefer the longer style but I am beginning to wear more shorter ones. This is more like a coat but it is silk and very very lightweight which is perfect for my climate.

  13. I was raised by an emotional mother. I was never given a chance to allow my feelings to surface because she overwhelmed me. At around 7 I started getting bald spots the size of a silver dollar. The doctor tried to tell my mother it was a nervous reaction, naturally she cried hysterically not accepting my diagnosis
    It took me many years to allow myself to accept my emotional side.

    We don’t realize how much a parent’s behavior can influence us.

    Happy to be able to cry, rant, rave and laugh

  14. Pam, I too, grew up in a dysfunctional family with alcohol but knew I was loved. At college I found there were many others that had family situations much worse than mine.
    My mother gave me my love of fashion and my father of work.
    My faith has been my foundation for a happy life and has supported me though many times of trial.
    I am now widowed, active in my church and community, have a new successful business designing jewelry, many friends and life is good.
    It is important that we like who we are and treat ourselves accordingly !

  15. I’ve always appreciated the smartness and sophistication of black and brown used together. It always brings to mind the beauty of neo-classic furniture as it moved out of the rococo style. Simple, understated (in most cases) and polished looking. And so it is in clothing…..simple, understated and polished.

  16. If you have accepted Jesus Christ and live your life for him every day, you have everything that the world can never give you!

  17. Praise God! You are a blessing to many who read your story!

    I love black and brown and your outfit is beautiful!

  18. Oh my word! Every part of your story hit me! I had a highly abusive home…physically and more and it caused a heap of hurt for me until fairly recently so SO many things in your story hit me! Peace with my past was long in coming and is still a process BUT I, too, reached higher than myself for help with that and more.

    I had a brown pair of slacks when I was a teenager that I ruined accidentally with bleach and it broke my heart but WORSE than that, I actually felt like I deserved nothing and that no matter what, everything that I loved in life would get ruined no matter. Terrible the lies we tell ourselves when we are hurting inside…

    I became a binge eater who quickly gained over 100 lbs and that, too, became a “ I deserve nothing good” thing in my life.

    My faith…had everything to do with healing and God gave me a great husband that loved me through so many issues…and healing slowly happened. I lost that weight and have kept it off now for 14 years and help others to do the same BUT every once in a while something will rear it’s ugly head with the old….and I have to shake that off with prayer and truth.

    I appreciate your blog today as it reminds me to be confident and sure and ALSO that I do so love brown and I actually deserve the nice brown slacks in my wardrobe right now and plan on rocking them this Autumn!

  19. I was very emotional after reading your childhood story. No little child should have to endure that pain and anguish. Unfortunately I have discovered many do.i taught a Composition class for freshmen at a local college and so many students write their first essay- a memoir -focusing on such painful memories. You have found your way to happier times it seems and for that, we are all blessed.

  20. Your eyes are one of your most beautiful features – I’m so glad your lashes came back!
    I covet that Eileen Fisher jacket every time you style it! This is such a sophisticated, gorgeous look.

  21. I”m loving your black/brown combination. It’s giving me some great ideas on how to style existing items in my closet.

  22. How brave and generous of you to share your story. I’m sure there are many who will find hope in your words. Thank you.

    As for the color mix, I adore black and brown together. Always have. I’m glad to see it in the forefront this season!

    Wonderful post today, Pam, in all ways!

  23. Oh Rebecca, thank you for sharing all of this. I can identify with every word. I also was an emotional eater. Praise God you are an overcomes and help others. I think everyone struggles with lies which will surface when we least expect them. The name of Jesus will send them away. Thank you for all you do and please please gift yourself with a beautiful pair of brown pants. You deserve it…You Matter!!

  24. Thank you, Paulette. I work on a college campus and my heart goes out to so many dealing with much more than I did. Thank you for sharing.

  25. You made a choice not to let bitterness control your life as it did your mother’s. As our Lord says, “Your faith has made you well.” May you continue to keep that positive attitude as you go forward. Thank you for your inspiration.

  26. Your story was from the heart, thank you. Having worked with battered women I know what a terrible childhood can do and some poor souls never get over it. You did.

  27. Thank you, Jill. I did and my heart goes out to anyone trapped in any type of abuse. There is hope.

  28. Thank you for sharing your story and your faith, Pam! As much fun as we can have with fashion and as much as looking our best can give us an emotional boost, there are things that are much more important and you have touched on those today. That’s what keeps me coming back to your blog. It has depth!

    You also reminded me of a long brown jacket similar to the one you’re wearing that’s been hanging in the back of my closet for a long time… long enough that I’d forgotten about it until I saw yours! I used to wear a lot of brown, but I haven’t in recent years. Thankfully, though, I hung onto a few favourite pieces including that jacket. With brown being so on trend this fall, they’ll definitely be coming out to play again!

  29. Thanks for the encouragement,Elaine! Have fun with your jacket…glad you remembered it!!

  30. Thank you for sharing this story from your childhood, and how you have grown and overcome those issues to become the strong and beautiful person you are today. It is sad how the actions of our parents, sometimes unknowingly to them, can shape us even as adults. I’m proud and happy for you in knowing how to let it go, and move on with your life.
    One of my favorite Bible verses is, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
    Philippians 4:13

  31. I say that verse every morning Dawn as I walk into my gym!! It is true of all types of strength… especially emotional. Thank you for the encouragement

  32. Thank you for sharing your eyelash story! We so often beat ourselves up over past hurts , so your words are inspiring! I look forward to reading your blog and the advice you offer. Along with other readers I think you look absolutely fabulous in your Eileen Fisher jacket.

    You bring joy to many women through your blog, so please keep inspiring us to be joyful, engaging women.

  33. Thank you for sharing your story. Every human being has some story. It either moves us to be better and enjoy our lives or it holds us back and we cannot thrive. You have chosen a positive path. Hugs to you. On another note . . . loving the black and brown combo. So classy and chic! And is that a fresh hairstyle? It flatters you very much.

  34. Thanks for telling your lashes story. i gave my heart to Jesus 2 November 1985.
    I love your blog
    Henriette from South Africa

  35. wow, reading the comments, i feel like there are a lot of us out there…one of my first purchases when i got a good job, was a new set of teeth for my mother. The old ones did not fall out on their own, I will spare everyone the rest of the story….
    I can do black or i can do brown, but together i cant help but feel like a doberman…lol
    i love the long necklace, i have a few of those.
    Thank You for sharing, I needed that today.

Comments are closed.