Style Tips for Wearing Black, Brown, & Confidence: Look #2

Welcome Back for another day of black, brown, and confidence from the inside out!  You ladies ROCK.  Your comments yesterday were so incredible, encouraging and open.  I truly hope a post like that will help others in many ways.  So thank to all who participated with comments.  Now today, we are moving forward with a new black & brown style and a new tip below.

Today’s Confidence Tip is:  STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS .  

I confess it is easy to say this and harder to do, but, seriously at our ages, you would think we would learn by now.  Did you know that Christi Brinkley is on Dancing with the Stars this season?  SHE IS MY AGE!  I have been envious of her my entire life. However, it is very humorous for me to compare myself to the Uptown Girl at any point in my past or future life.   Although, I have to say…me on Dancing with the Stars would make for could comedy TV!

Women are the best at allowing comparisons to rob us of confidence and joy.  Now, to make it even more challenging for some of us, we have all of these bloggers for women over 50…who are thin, rich, and perfect in every way.  The struggle is real.  But whenever, I begin to give envy authority over me, I have to shout STOP out loud and go back to being thankful for who and what I am…at my age and size and income level at this moment in time.

I learned a long time ago to accept myself right where I was at that time…to allow myself to love ME and accept ME.  It was freeing and I could feel so much weight melt from my shoulders.  When I learned to love myself and care for me, then I was able to get healthier…lose some weight and learn how to dress in ways that gave me confidence.  When I was trying to do all of that to gain acceptance from myself and others, it was a nightmare…a road block that would not budge.  It lead to frustration and sadness.

YOU are gorgeous and incredible just as you are right now! Accept that.  Dress the body you have.  Have fun with fashion despite your age.  Dress with the income you have.  Begin to accept yourself and find joy in doing all of that.  You will be amazed at what can happen and your confidence will soar.

I am happy to say….I AM NOT CHRISTI BRINKLEY!  I AM PAM (PAM I AM) and she makes me happy.  At least Pam doesn’t have to worry about looking good in a dance outfit or a bikini! (Now, that would be really humorous!)

The black and brown outfit #2 is actually…YOUR FAULT!! I put this tweed top by Ming Wang in a Dillard’s dressing room post and your comments convinced me to invest in it.  I do love it and I know I will get my cost per wear very low because it is going to be worn often! I am going to be wearing it with jeans too.   Now, the shoes are old.  They are by Halogen and I purchased them years ago in a Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.  I have loved them well and they are a bit scuffed…so my photographer/husband said…”Just polish them! ” (I think men think of polishing shoes more than ladies do.  But I am going to polish them.)  This fabulous necklace was designed by Dallas Fashion Designer Paulette Martsolf of allie-coosh.  Her true works of art are phenomenal…I love her jewelry and she has some incredible black and brown pieces on her website also.  The necklace I wore yesterday was also one of hers.

One last word…it is great to be inspired by other women and use that inspiration to discover our own personal style.  But, it is defeating when we try to be just like those women in every way.  You are unique…no one exists like you…discover what you want to say with your style to the world.  What can you wear that will send a specific message and tell the world who you are?  Then wear it with pride, and confidence, and





  1. Well, Pam I Am, you are chic and smart, and very “real.” Brown and black have always been a favorite combo of mine, and you wear it beautifully. Have a terrific Tuesday!

  2. Hi Pam,

    This is one of my favorite outfits on you. It shows off the beauty that is you. I really like the fitted pants and top with the shorter fitted jacket. and the shorter necklace. You look amazing. I would definitely wear it often!


  3. Pam, my first comment as a relatively new follower. I love this outfit and your confidence in wearing it shows on your face. Thank you for your simple comments regarding accepting and staying confident with who we are and not trying to be someone else.

  4. Pam, Hair to toes, you look stunning! I’ve not worn brown in years, but am tempted by the jacket you are wearing. I am wondering if that beautiful necklace is heavy, as that can be a problem for many of us.

  5. That jacket length is just perfect for you and very flattering. I do wonder why you gravitate towards darker colors because your picture next to your name shown above in your comments is a beautiful red and looks fab on you.

  6. Pam, you ROCK!!!! That outfit is smashing, Girl, because of the beautiful, confident woman wearing it!!! So chic and stylish. Carpe diem, my friend!!

  7. It is not heavy. I understand wanting lighter ones. I also loving some of the cool paper mache jewelry. Very artistic and lightweight.

  8. Because I love darker saturated colors. But I really wear all kinds of color just not most pastels. Thanks so much!

  9. That shorter jacket length is so slimming on you. Love the brown and black but I don’t really have anything in that combo. I am also envious of your jewelry. It all suits your image so well!

  10. I think in the past nine years, I have become known for my accessories more than anything else in the style area. That is where I can really express my creative side and I think it is such fun. Thank you so much for being here.

  11. This is one of my favourite outfits on you. I would wear this outfit in a minute. What makes it extra special is your smile.
    Your thoughts on just being ourself is right “on the money.”
    Loving your posts and thoughtful rematks. Thank you. ?

  12. Your Black and Brown inspired me to buy a b/b jacket from Chico’s. I really enjoyed your post today as I have put on a few pounds this summer and have been beating myself up over it. Your statement to dress the body you have now hit home with me. Thanks!!!

  13. You look great in brown and black! Also noticed your hair and I love your highlights.
    I miss buying work clothes. I have been retired for a few years and have changed my buying habits. I don’t look good in brown so admire it on other people. Great choices for your wardrobe!

  14. I’m so glad you decided to purchase that jacket. It is so flattering on you. Comparison is the killer of confidence & joy. I am short & have curves. Therefore, I am never going to look like a long legged, reed thin model. This fact finally hit me over the head several years ago. It allowed me to move forward & clear my overstuffed closet of “I have nothing to wear” clothes. From time to time, I still find myself falling into the comparison trap, & like you, have to say “STOP”.

  15. I’m old enough to remember when black and brown was a definite no-no, and considered a fashion faux-pas. I love the way you’ve styled those colors together and you look very classy with your hair color and your long elegant feet.

  16. Thanks Lori! I think the combination is elegant if the brown is a deep rich shade. I do like it a lot!

  17. Your husband gave you some good advice when he suggested you polish your shoes. Well made shoes are expensive and polishing them makes them last longer. My Dad polished everybody’s shoes at our house when I was growing up. It’s a lesson I carried with me into adulthood.

  18. Good for your dad, Cynthia. I was never trained to think that way about my shoes. Thank you for sharing your story!

  19. You look fabulous in this black and brown outfit also! Wonder if that would work with my silver hair or if the brown is too warm. Miss Cynthia is right (and your hubs)…polish the shoes. Loved your comment to Miss Elaine…our style is much more than clothes.

  20. I have been told it depends on your shade of silver or gray. Should try on some of these colors to see what you think, Donna! Thanks for being here.

  21. I have not commented in ages but today I just had to.I love that jacket on you and you should wear more jackets at this length – very flattering in my opinion.I love your shoes too and the colours are perfect with your outfit.You are such a wise and sensible lady and I agree totally that we are all unique and to stop comparing ourselves with others.
    Sending well wshes from Melbourne,Australia

  22. Pam,

    These thin, rich and perfect women age just like the rest of us do. They just have financial resources that we don’t have. That’s the edge that they have over us, nothing more than that.

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