Develop healthy discontentment

Develop healthy discontentment

Yes, we should develop healthy discontentment. 

And, beware of “discontentment” which destroys good health.

In my desire to lead a more balanced life, I recently pondered two types of discontentment so prevalent these days.

Healthy Discontentment

Healthy discontentment

Often, it is discontentment with a situation which will spur us toward healthy changes.  We may be discontented with our weight, our financial situation, our style, relationships…a number of things…and these situations may lead us to create new answers which bring greater contentment and joy!

I have been impressed with the small business owners who have made changes to their business plans and adapted in such a way as to continue making a living in a pandemic.  They have been motivated to survive as best they can.

It takes strength, courage, and determination to make difficult situations work.

To create lemonade out of lemons.

Healthy discontentment turns lemons into lemonade


And, it takes hope of better things to come…and hope to see silver linings.


The unhealthy form of discontentment

Discontentment can be unhealthy


However, if we allow discontentment to roll in and stay… to shut us down…it can…and will destroy us.

Severe discontentment will rob us of joy…will cause judgmental attitudes to flourish…will grow anger…will create victims…and ultimately will seep into our bones and take our health.

I witnessed it first-hand with my own mother.

 I still feel a deep saddest from watching her give discontentment permission to ruin her life and then living as a victim and not an overcomer.


Difficult days

Overcome discontentment


These are difficult days for all of us and even more so in America. The new year has not wiped out the challenges.

 We must be aware of both types of discontentment and not allow the unhealthy one to reign in our lives.

May we all be overcomers.


How to avoid discontentment


I focus on the positive…on constant hope.

I focus on living one day at a time and making a “smile discovery” every day.

That simply means I look for moments, people, or even things that put a smile on my face and remind me that I am blessed.

I am thankful every day and motivated during this time to find contentment in each situation.

That is the mentally healthy way!  There are challenges…there are things that need to be fixed…but I choose not to allow them to defeat me. 


  1. This past Sunday, our reader, Esther asked :“This is off subject, but I was reading through the Velamour add trying to decide what would be the best to help stop my thinning hair but got rather confused. What do you personally use and is it for hair growth or thinning hair? Also wondering if your readers have any feedback on using the Velamour products. I need help.”   I do not have thinning hair, but some of you may and if you can comment to Esther here and help her out, I told her to watch for responses.

       2. For those of you who love an Eileen Fisher Sale, then Dillard’s is here to comply:  Just go to Dillard’s and search Eileen Fisher Sale.

Please comment on today’s topic about balancing our discontentment in healthy ways….and I truly desire all of you will….


By Pamela Lutrell



  1. My solution for feeling stressed and angry has been to turn off the news. Networks and cable news thrive when discontent is high. I think there is way too much opining and judgment to learn anything more than the host’s opinion and I decided that I don’t care what their opinion is. Since turning my interest to learning new things to cook, watching people improve their homes and so many other wonderful upbeat shows, I’m happier. My 89 yo mother has been on a kick of watching dr Phil and she now thinks that everyone has hidden secrets and is a drug abuser. Tv can influence how we see the world. Choose wisely.

  2. After a lengthy illness caused by septic shock post kidney stone infection and surgery several organs shut down and I ended up in icu on a ventilator and 24/7 dialysis- very ill almost dead. I survived because of dedicated doctors nurses and hospital who tried everything! Two months after being released from hospital and six weeks of rehab to learn to walk etc again, my thick once healthy hair fell out. I was devastated! I was on the road to recovery! One of my doctors suggested biotin but it did nothing. My dermatologist gave me a months supply of a capsule by Isdin (Spain) called Lamdaphil (so?) which she instructed to take for three months. It worked! It’s zinc, B vitamins and biotin. I got it through her office. This is for Esther who wrote in re: hair loss.

    1. Oh Paulette, Thank you for sharing your difficult journey in order to help Esther. I am so thankful you are here.

      1. I too avoid the news during the day. I check in the morning and that’s it until after I log off. Keep music on in the background (jazz or classical). I take biotin since I have very fine air and it works (buy Superior Source brand).

  3. There will always be things to cause discontent to sneak into our minds. The key, as you mentioned, is to think about using these things for making some positive changes. I stopped watching the news altogether and got off social media and feel so much better and don’t miss any of it. I’m in the process of a major change in my life and don’t need to compound my stress. When I feel discontent creeping in, I remind myself of examples of those who have handled it poorly, and that motivates me to surround myself with more positive experiences, even in small doses.

  4. The news is certainly the worst offender for making anyone feel discontentment. I have a friend who has CNN on all day every day and that has to be so stressful. I have not been watching the news, and look for animal networks and home renovation shows to calm the frustrated mind. I have to go for a walk in the snow every day to ‘dust out the mind’ and am already making plans for flower bed additions and renovations as soon as I am able to get out there in the spring. My mother had a large fish tank that was calming entertainment and I have my 13 bird feeders that provide hours of distraction. I was telling another friend who seems to see the bad in most things, that every day I look for something positive instead. I sent her the Vivian Greene quote Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about dancing in the rain, and she did not get the implication, so I find there are those who let the stress consume them, and those who try to dance in the rain. I am trying, and to tell the truth, this is not the worst year of my life, so onward with a postive attitude. Oh, also, a good scalp scrub is stimulating for the hair folicles and may help a bit as well, for Esther.

  5. I dont want to go into a lengthy diatribe about my Mom…but i can honestly say, my efforts to not be like her, is what kept a decent roof over my head, and a dependable car in my hands. probably because of her, i can whip up a list of gratitudes, or fight off depression almost easily…sometimes the world wants to pull me into the well. but if i had to note my methods, its usually a nice shower, with a conditioning treatment for my hair, a mask for my face and lotioning up my self well afterwards. then its either get fully dressed and straighten or clean, or comfy cozy with a book and a cat or two. and i agree with turning off the dang news…thats nbr 1 these days.

  6. I enjoy current events and allow myself to watch and do online reading of the news. On the weekends, however, I mostly stay away from news and take a break. During the weekend, my husband and I enjoy watching cooking shows and trying out new recipes.

    There are many ways for me to handle stress … walking, reading a book, paging through a magazine, listening to music, baking, playing an online game, cleaning (usually that one is last – ha ha). I find if I step away from what is stressing me and focus on something else, even for a short time, it really helps.

    Of course, laughter is always therapeutic. I try to laugh every day.

  7. Something that often helps me move toward being content is to do something for someone else. These days it can be a bit more difficult because of pandemic guidelines, but sending a card or praying for another person works. If I’m in an inexpensive location I might pay for the person behind me or buy a coffee for someone. It helps me remember that I have so much that there is even enough to give some (money, time, prayer, thought…) away.

  8. This is a bit off topic, but I love the painting of the woman in today’s post. It is uplifting, positive and has gorgeous colors. Who painted it? I could imagine using it as a starting point for an interiors design or as inspiration for a wardrobe collection.

  9. I keep discontentment and worry away by spending time with my 7 grandchildren. We are all under lockdown in CA and even the parks have been shutdown. At Christmas, I purchased supplies and we did crafts. Every Saturday we have pizza and go in our spa (yes, even New Year’s). We watch family friendly movies, and bake goodies. We only discuss COVID when they ask. My grandsons, who are 2 and 3 have most been effected. I hate to imagine how children 1-3 will fare under quaranteen for a year…My father was an officer who served thru WWII, Korea and Vietnam, and his motto was “Think Positive”. That’s all I can do…so I read historical novels, watch romance movies and shop the fantastic sales. Positivity is all around when you are open to it. When we are set free in CA, I’m going to spring like a butterfly!

  10. I want to remind everyone that discontentment and clinical depression are different things. There is a huge surge of people reporting depressive symptoms. Smiling more, turning off the news etc. is not a cure for clinical depression. Please get help. You are not alone.

  11. Love that this your chosen topic today. One of the most difficult aspects to being a positive outlook type of person is living and loving those who are consumed with negativity. That can drain down the batteries of even the most Pollyanna among us. I personally recharge by playing the piano, listening to music, gardening, reading and taking long walks. I recently switched up my walks from having music in my headset to now listening to audiobooks via Chirp. They are inexpensive and have no monthly subscription so I am able to really look forward to my storytime every evening after dinner. Visiting with friends, whether masked or just on the phone, remains one of my favorite ways to stay mentally happy, and daily prayer and giving thanks is essential to me.

    1. Thank you for sharing about Chirp, Connie. I was not familiar with this and will check it out. I join you in your last statement …for mr prayer and thanksgiving are essential throughout my day.

  12. I used to tell my students that every single day there would be things that happen, and you could look at each thing and have a positive response or a negative one. I urged them to choose positive. Some did, and reported it really made a difference. We can only control some of what happens to us, but we can always control our response. I find getting outside to walk or swim is the best stress reliever,a long with yoga. I’m currently in a cast to the knee and on a scooter from foot surgery. It turns out that it was much worse than anticipated, and instead of needing a cast for 2 weeks, I need one for 8! I’m choosing to finish uncompleted jewelry projects, bought some hand weights to use while in the scooter, and am looking forward to wearing a shoe with a back. I’m choosing my responses, which include anticipating a future that is more convenient and hopefully with less pain.

  13. In one of your earlier posts on elegance, you spoke about pausing. I have used this many times on social media. I pause to think to does this really need to be said. Most of the time, the answer is no. If I am suffering from overall discontentment, I try to find the cause. It is usually something small that I have let fester. Once I find the cause, if it can be fixed, I try to fix it. If it can’t, I start the task of moving forward.

    1. This is a good honest process Becky. Pausing is especially good with social media. I had a long pause last week…a time to reflect and process. I will write more about it later.

  14. Hi, what a good subject!
    We seem to all have a day here or there of discontent, I am a real Pollyanna but this COVID stuff gets to us all.
    I agree with turning off the news, I get all involved & this is such a good reminder.
    I love my audible books, one of my favourite ones was read by Tom Hanks.
    I also give myself permission to sit with a cup of tea & a Netflix every afternoon after 3pm. Who wants to clean that late in the day?
    I have a great walking partner & we get outdoors almost every day for an hour.
    Thanks Pam.

  15. I love that word “overcomer”, Pamela. My husband & I are positive “overcomers”, but I see the damage that his mother — a narcissist & drama queen who uses her manufactured victimhood to manipulate those around her — has done to her relationships with her family & it makes me sad. The decision to not step into other people’s dramas & stories & take them on as our own is a conscious one, as is the decision to not play the victim in our own lives. Another conscious decision? To find the joy in every day (even the darkest ones) & to be grateful (even when it appears at first glance there is nothing to be grateful for). Great post today, thank you! You are certainly part of what I’m grateful for.

  16. Miss Pamela, you have the best readers who have the best ideas! You introduce a topic and these smart ladies run with it and we all benefit. One of the things I take away from this topic is that we are not alone. It is most helpful to know that someone stands with you, even if you don’t actually know that person. I have always believed that we are sent angels from Elohim and those angels help us through trying times, great and small.

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