Time to get our personal style and confidence back

Time to get our personal style and confidence back

Now, let’s discuss how it is time to get our personal style and confidence back.

Sunday, we discussed the shopping challenges we currently face and several remarked about body changes during this past year.  Also, we heard the hearts of those who face difficulties as plus size shoppers.  But I hope to offer more inspiration to work through difficulties and develop a confident wardrobe.

Springtime is the perfect time to bloom and return to a confident, healthy personal style. 

You may be one of those who cringe at the words “personal style.”  It makes you think of Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, runways, and models…but not your world…no, “I do not need a personal style.  I am not into fashion!”



Time to get our personal style and confidence back

Like it or not, you do have a personal style and communicate messages with the clothing you choose to wear.  I believe you know this is true and see what I am talking about every time you look in a mirror. 

If you control what your clothing says to the world about you, it will ultimately help you to be more joyful and confident.  Always ask the question before you go out…”What does this outfit say about me?”

Regular readers know I control my personal style by dressing with five adjectives in mind.

One of those adjectives is creativity…I want my style to say that I am creative, joyful and approachable….as you see in some of the images today.

Recently, I changed up my adjectives when I decided to stay home to work.  However, a good friend (one who has permission to tell me anything) noticed the change…not in a good way.  She said, “Where is the old Pam?”  The fun one who wore fun accessories and creative garments?? 

Wow…this made me think!

This began to happen when I was striving for elegance and added the word elegant to my list which resulted in a subdued stay at home style. So, I have tweaked my adjectives (yet again in the last year) to be creative, strong, intelligent, joyful and current.  This has been me for the last 15 years. 

Somehow my interpretation of the word elegance was a toned down one. Comments spoke to me of neutral classic styling.  Which I do love and wear, but without the “punch of Pam” just was not me. I am not saying I no longer desire to be elegant…just do it more my way.

Since my reinvention at age 50, I have not been one to shrink from attention, so creative style is a statement about me and who I am.  One stylist called me dramatic…and I guess that does depict me well.



Time to get our personal style and confidence back


Only you know what you want to say about you with what you wear.  So, only you can select your adjectives ….but if you will do that and be true to only wear what communicates those adjectives…I promise, you will develop a personal style that is uniquely you.

I love my accessories…I love color…and I love to make a statement!  That is me!

Time to get our personal style and confidence back

We did something here at the beginning of 2020 which was so much fun and went away as life became more serious.  I asked readers to email me their 5 style adjectives, and I produced slideshows of garments currently on sale which I believe communicated those messages.

I would like to offer to do that again!  Email over50feeling40@gmail.com and tell me what five adjectives you would like to communicate with your style right now in your current stage of life.  Maybe things have changed over the past year!

I will let you know when I feature your slideshow.

If you want to explain your choice of adjectives…please do…but let me know if you do NOT want that shared with the audience. Perhaps you have a friend or family member you would like to have join the blog….this is a great way to get them to participate as well.  I also enjoyed seeing what women wanted to say with their clothing!  We had the momentum and I want it back!



Time to get our personal style and confidence back

Since the inception of What Not To Wear, Stacy London has been my personal style instructor.  Her book The Truth About Style is exceptional. 

One of my favorite Stacy London quotes is: “Style is not about what you have or what you can afford.  You don’t have to be young, rich or skinny to have it. You can be you and develop an incredible personal style that can give you great confidence and allow you to walk through the world with a sure step and feel great about yourself.”

Let’s begin with what we want to say to others about our style in this new world as we are able to enjoy life more, then I will broach how to dress to look smaller. 

Don’t let the retail discussion of yesterday get you down…there are always options!


By Pamela Lutrell

Personal note:  I did another massive closet clean this past weekend and more is gone…either to donations or to sell on EBAY.  Feels great to take it down even more!

Here is a slideshow for those like me who love creative, vibrant style!



  1. You are so gorgeous in all of these pix! Love the pops of color and fabric contrasts!
    You really are an artist in combining tops and bottoms! I need practice…..

  2. I always loved that white shirt on you. I am too short for it, but its great.
    My five adjectives are tough. Casual, classic, refined, intelligent,yet fun

  3. Hi Mari…they are not tough…but really very similar to mine. The word refined speaks volumes. I will let you know when I feature these adjectives. And…yes, the white shirt is fun.

  4. Pam, in your first picture you are wearing that ruana from Chico’s that I bought after seeing you wear it, but have never worn. You told me months ago to get it out and wear, but I think of it as a special garment, and I haven’t been anywhere “special “ in a year. However, seeing you style it with navy top and dark jeans, I’m now planning to wear it Wednesday when we meet friends at an outside restaurant for the first time in more than a year. I like bright, jewel colors and even when wearing something quieter ( more elegant?), I always add a bright scarf or interesting jewelry….similar to what you often do.

  5. I have worn mine during lock down time just eating with my husband, but I think wearing it out for the first time with friends makes a huge statement, Celia. This says you are ready for life and to be joyful again. Let me know how it goes. It looks great with jeans. Also, life is too short to save pieces…wear the fun stuff now…even while at home!

  6. I reevaluate my Foundational Five adjectives seasonally, and often they don’t change. I am confident in my personal style, but occasionally do notice I’ve changed something about it and then I tweak the adjectives. I keep them on a laminated card in my purse so that I can pull it out in a dressing room for reference. I have deviated at times if I really love something that’s not an example of what’s on the card. That keeps my style fluid and fun. Typically I feel my best in classic styles with a modern twist. I love the timeless quality of classics and feel I can invest in those things with confidence since they are not trendy. But at the same time I want to be current, so basically I’m really having fun with this process. I’m preparing for another shopping trip, so have done a closet purge when I moved and am working on my Foundational Five. “Classic” always heads my list, so I know that’s me. You look wonderful in your style examples shown, and you wear the dramatic flair well! It’s important to know who we are and the message we send with our choices.

  7. You radiate joy when you wear color & your unique jewelry! I think the elegance piece comes into play with who you are . . . kind, hard-working, a woman of faith, funny, caring, smart, honest, brave, forward-thinking, generous, gracious . . .

  8. I love that you keep your Foundational Five adjectives on a laminated card. Such a smart idea for shopping! When I named this process the Foundational Five, I was thinking of it being our foundation for what messages we desire to send with our clothing. Classic is always a smart foundation for many of us. Let us know how the shopping trip goes!

  9. Judy! Thank you so much…your encouragement and affirming comment means a lot and reminds me that with my dramatic flair I can still be considered elegant.

  10. The first picture makes me smile. You look so happy and fun. I admire you in your ruanas. I’ve tried and tried to wear them, but I’m too short and feel ridiculous. Your bright colors encourage me to try more brights especially after our year. I’m still thinking of my words.

  11. I hope you will send them to me when you decide, Carolyn. I would love to select some looks for you with color in mind!

  12. You looked fun today, Pam. I’ve been wearing (literally) a nightgown since January 11, when I had foot surgery that landed me in a huge cast for 8 weeks and a boot for 2 more. I’ve even worn a Lands End plain navy nightgown and a denim jacket for cast changes, as pants get in the way and get dirty when they saw off a cast. Boy howdy am I looking forward to getting out of the boot and into real clothes on Friday. I’m thinking turquoise!!!

  13. Oh, I really like the idea of tweaking my adjectives … it never crossed my mind to do so. But this past year has changed so much so I’m sure my foundational five have changed, too.

    Time for reflection!

    I’ll be very happy to send them to you, Pam.

    Your smile exudes confidence and positivity!

  14. My favorite look today is the white asymmetric shirt with the patterned pants. With the right top (bright/white) and the right patterned pants (scale is important, and notice here that the pattern and color recede compared to the shirt), a triangle like me can “break the rules”. The hemline of the shirt further fools the eye. This is master-class level dressing for the triangle body shape!

  15. Many years ago a lady I admired said something that I have never forgotten. She told a few of us young ladies to always dress as if you respect yourself & care about yourself. If you don’t, others will not respect you or care about you.

  16. I’ll be thinking about my five adjectives. You look fabulous in all your photos. Glowing! Your smile and confidence brought me joy!

  17. Pam, I like ALL your posts but this one is a humdinger! I actually had an epiphany as I read it: it doesn’t matter whether or not you think you “need” a personal style, you have one regardless & it says something about you — so why not have it say something positive? That word “elegant” has always been a problem for me, as I’ve explained before. When I was growing up, the word & all it meant was used to limit & control women (or so I saw it). I didn’t want to be “elegant”, I wanted to be unrestrained & uncontained & fully me. There is an essence to it that I do embrace, but there’s a part of me that still resists the unspoken suggestion that I should be more subdued & reserved & lady-like. Also as I’ve mentioned, I wrestled with my 5 Adjectives until I stopped trying to emulate that “elegant” 62 year old I’m obviously NOT & just went with the wild-child I never outgrew: Harleys & tattoos & blue jeans & bad language & not giving a #&#! about fitting in. But doing it with STYLE. 🙂 And that’s where you’ve come in, dear Pam!

    You’ve always worn gorgeous accessories & when you wear something bright & colourful you glow. And you have a flair for playfulness that shines through. I think the word “drama” is perfect for what you’ve been denying yourself — it’s gotten a bad rap over the years (as in the negative “drama queen”) & those of us who embody it have shied away from it. Maybe it’s time to reclaim it!

    I’m still culling my closets & I notice everything that goes into the “thrift shop” pile is stuff I bought AFTER I retired for the person I THOUGHT I wanted to be (not sure who she was as I never really found her). I’ve been reverting back to jeans & tees, leather pants (yes, at 62!), moto jackets, big earrings, lots of black & white with flashes of scarlet & fuchsia, peacock & lime. And of course my “new” grey hair. This post made me feel as though I finally know what I’m doing. My 5 Style Adjectives: confident, bold, competent, smart, relaxed.

    I love discussions like this & reading everyone’s ideas & input. I’m looking forward to more as the year progresses. And thanks for a MOST thoughtful interlude to my day.

  18. Thank you, Janet! I loved reading your comment and your adjectives seem spot on though we have never met face to face! So glad you are here.

  19. Hope you get this as the email would not go through. After some readjusting and rethinking, I have come up with these 5 adjectives, confident, fun, creative, romantic/classic and empathetic. The empathetic is replacing the adventuristic although I do still feel a need for adventure. The romantic vibe is not necessarily overly feminine in the ruffle and frilly girly way, just with the skirts and dresses with statement jewellery and feminine shoes. I do not have black shoes, most are ballet flats, printed shoes and sandals that are jewelled etc. i do not have any masculine vibe items any more such as blazers or shirt style tops or dress pants that skew that way. When articles pop up that say you ‘need’ a moto jacket or denim jacket, I just ignore that after disastrous results that do not get worn. Even when I was in school I would wear skirts and dresses that my aunt and I would get together and remake from her extensive wardrobe, and she would make others from the latest patterns. The fun comes in with the huge collection of scarves and jewellery ( not much in the way of smaller styles) and even shoes, but there always needs to be an addition of a bit ‘more’ than a lot of my friends. I have replaced my shirt style tops with softer blouses and feminine sweaters that are midway between classic and soft styles. When you were saying about the problem with elegant, I think the outfit with the white blouse and cute pink pattern leggings looks elegant. Remember those wonderful ladies with the caftans or flowy pants and jewel sandals that looked so elegant. A matter of feeling. I want to thank you for allowing me to dive deeper into my reasoning these last couple days. I have a weight issue that fluctuates 20 or 30 pounds over a year, off and on for 17 years so am so pleased that you are understanding of the plus size issue as well. I will continue to dress with confidence and fun in a feminine way for myself. Thanks for all the inspiration.

  20. I got your email! It went through. I will let you know when I feature your adjectives.

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