How to build confidence over 60
Happy Monday, all! Welcome to a discussion of how to build confidence over 60!
This time of our lives over 60 is so important that I want to address ways to live it with a smile on your face.
We are important to the people around us and to ourselves…we owe it to us and everyone else to live an important time of life over 60 with confidence.
I absolutely love it when someone is surprised that I am on the doorstep of turning 70, but it has certainly been a process getting here.
Please allow me to share with you some thoughts this lovely June day on how to build confidence over 60.
HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE OVER 60: STEP ONE
STEP ONE to build your confidence over 60 is accept aging …aging is a fact of life, but our attitudes about it are everything and show on our faces and in our bodies.
One book I really enjoyed reading years ago was written by fashion designer Dianne von Furstenberg and titled The Woman I Wanted to Be.
She writes, “I embraced my age and my life. It was the beginning of the age of fulfillment, which continues. Now, in my sixties, I know I have less time ahead and I want to enjoy as much as possible.”
The lesson is to choose fulfillment over 60, and not despondency.
“What is important is to live fully every single day of every period of every age so that no time gets wasted. Because the time goes by faster and faster,” she said.
I say…get up…get dressed…and get out!
HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE OVER 60: STEP TWO
STEP TWO to build your confidence over 60 is accept YOU!
Dianne also writes, “Clearly confidence is everything. Confidence makes us beautiful, and it comes from accepting yourself.”
“The moment you accept yourself, it makes everything better.”
In the first picture at the top of the post, you see a woman who:
Has awful funky feet with curved toes and bunions
Has been over weight most of her journey over 50
Has a permanently ripped, weak earlobe and not able to wear earrings
Has skin tags all over, everywhere (thanks mom & dad)
Has slightly crooked teeth and never wore braces. (again, thanks mom & dad)
Has poor eyesight and needs glasses where ever I go.
But you also see a woman who has accepted herself and been determined to live her full life with joy.
One reason Dianne is an enigma in the fashion world is that she determined she would live with a twinkle in her wrinkle….no form of plastic surgery….no botox or fillers.
She writes, “In my older face, I see my life. Every wrinkle, every smile line, every age spot. My life is written on my face. There is a saying that with age, you look outside what you are inside. If you are someone who never smiles, your face gets saggy. If you’re a person who smiles a lot, you will have more smile lines. Your wrinkles reflect the roads you have taken, they form the map of your life. My face reflects the wind and sun and rain and dust from the trips I have taken. My curiosity and love of life have filled me with colors and experiences and I wear them all with gratitude and pride. My face carries my memories. Why would I erase them?”
I have discovered that my smile has others focusing on the smile, and less on the wrinkles around it…perhaps that is the surprise by some of my actual age.
I practice proper skincare daily, but have not and will not follow the choice of fillers of any kind.
I have confidence over 60 and feel no need for them.
HOW TO BUILD CONFIDENCE OVER 60: STEP THREE
STEP THREE to build your confidence over 60 is accept your current roles.
We all have purpose over 60…and most of us wear many hats. Accept those roles…we are very important to the people around us…family, friends, community.
We only have a short time to share our stories, intelligence, purpose, and passions.
Then, dress every day for your roles…dress for the your calendar whether those appointments for the day are big or as small as running errands.
Your appearance communicates confidence and joy to others, and shows you care for yourself.
Choose your five style adjectives and tell them to the world around you with each and every outfit.
I tell others every day that I am polished, creative, approachable, joyful and current…that builds my confidence when my outfit speaks who I am.
I also build confidence by wearing my best colors in my vibrant autumn palette.
Don’t just wear any color because you like it….wear your BEST colors for a confident glow.
I no longer wear hot pink…but I love the color…just not on me.
The Chico’s No Iron Stretch Shirt I am wearing today comes in nine colors, but my best color Is the Banana Leaf.
BTW, this is a great shirt…it really does not wrinkle and is attractive, super comfy and washes well.
I am wearing it with my new favorite jean (I know I have worn these often lately…just love them), the Ming Wang Stretch Denim Slim Leg Pull-On Ankle Jeans.
This lovely tan color is called Limestone. I know they are pricey, but my cost per wear is plunging on these because I do wear them so much.
I am not sure exactly who needed today’s post, but I believe several are out there.
How to build confidence over 60? Accept aging, accept yourself, and accept your roles or life where you are….and then get on with it!
This time of life can be pretty amazing …even in a world that many would label mundane…not so.
Don’t listen to those voices.
KEEP SMILING AND WRINKLE ON!
By Pamela Lutrell
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Reading your blog this morning has me thinking about a quote I remember often that people do not “ see” older people, that people my age are invisible. But I’m not going to accept that premise! I always dress to go out of the house, even if I’m just walking to the mailbox. I put makeup on every day even if the only person I see is my Mr. B. I often am reminded of a dear friend describing me as always looking so elegant which was a surprising comment but one that I greatly appreciated because I, like you, have those physical properties …short, gray hair, pudgier than I prefer, crooked teeth ( in spite of braces years ago), several other physical characteristics that I dislike. However, I apparently dress in a manner that projects confidence and (your word) approachability. I try to be stylish and trendy but not to the extreme like jeans with holes, or much bared skin. I’d say I’m confident in my own skin as the expression goes, and that must be what I project to others. I will be seen even though I’m older!
Perfect post to start the week; thank you!
This is all certainly true. Thankfully, I have always, without exception, embraced my age. It matters less all the time about “the signs” because I’m still here, still participating in life and thank the Lord, healthy. I don’t take this lightly. In my life I see examples of giving up, even just quitting. My mother, alive at 98 yet a very poor quality of life, spent years in a chair watching the news all day. This reminds me to keep the TV off, ESPECIALLY the news, and get out and interact with people. My sister, when she turned 70 said, “things have to be different now, I can’t do what I used to do, can’t travel and I have to accept that those days are past.” Her health is declining two years later. These examples are all I need to keep going… keep doing…live each day. We all know we have less time now than we did even in our 50’s. But that doesn’t mean sit down and wait for the end. I’m glad you posted this today and I will go back and read it again, just to affirm. I had to smile, as one who has bunions and crooked teeth…my family couldn’t afford braces and I just accepted it rather than pay for it myself when I got older… I’m just thankful that for now, that’s the worst of it and those things are pretty minor!! Thank you for this insightful post!
Good morning. Another terrific post and one I needed to hear. I have a really good part-time job, but I’ve been feeling somewhat down and wondering if I should retire. All that would accomplish is that I would have seven days at home to feel somewhat down. I almost laughed out loud when I read “get up…get dressed…and get out.” I feel like my mother sent me a message! I would write more, but it’s time for me to get moving.
I have written my comment three times this morning and it keeps disappearing as I finish and try to send. I feel that what I have written today applies well to what you have written so I will try a fourth time! I will be 77 in November and I am reminded of people saying that older people are invisible. I’m here to say that is not me! I dress every day even to go to the mailbox. I wear makeup daily even if I’m not seeing anyone except my Mr. B. A friend told me once that I was “so elegant” which is certainly not an adjective I think I am, but I so appreciated her thinking that of me. I do dress only in my winter colors. I do try to camouflage my body parts I do not like. I am short, gray haired, pudgy, other traits I don’t like but try to dress in a manner like your adjective…approachable. I will not be a person who is ignored or unseen! Will try to post this again so not writing more as earlier.
The jeans look great on you! Can you share how that brand runs compared to others? Thanks
You are so inspiring! I look forward to your posts. By the way… love your outfit.
Thank you for another positive post. These are beautiful reminders to embrace life, and I love reading the other ladies’ comments as well. With my own 60th birthday in late July, I feel like a young girl stepping into what will be my old age. I hope “old” will be somewhere I arrive down the road, after being and doing all I have planned over the next couple of decades. Then perhaps in my last, I will be content to still myself for a while in contemplation and gratitude for all that was granted in this wonderful life.
I completely reject that we are invisible! I refuse to accept that like you, Celia. I never even think that I am invisible…I guess because I know that I am visible to the God who created me and to the important people in my life.
You are welcome, Debbie. Let’s own who we are right now!
You are right, Karen…let’s not sit down but get out and experience each day! Thank you for sharing.
Such an important post. I feel more confident now than in my younger years. While sometimes I’m shocked at my aging body (when did that happen, how did that happen?) I’m on a health journey pf several years and feel great. I think your tips, especially accepting, but not letting your life be ruled by, your aging body are things to keep in mind. One of the best decisions I made in retirement was to honor all of my life. I no longer stay at home or exercise in old, torn, or stained clothing so as not to “waste” it. Instead, I bought myself nice loungewear and workout/walking gear. This helps me feel like I’m not sloppy, and be my confident best when huffing past a young person on the trail :).
LOL…I think I would rather sound like your coach than your mother! Enjoy each moment of this day, Kathy.
You have two comments here now, Celia. I do not know why you don’t see them…thanks for persevering on.
Hi Lois…I am not sure what you mean, but these jeans fit me great. I do believe their sizes can be slightly smaller than most. These wash well and I am wearing them with most everything. Let me know if you want to know more information.
Thanks Renee…I like this one too..it is perfect for going out and about in the summertime.
I am a little jealous that as I turn 70, you turn 60, Connie. Sixty seems so young to me now. But, I do not feel like I thought 70 would feel…thank goodness. Gratitude is a key part of getting us through each stage of our lives.
Such a beautiful post today. I am 76 and a half, lol. And I too have embraced my age and this time in my life. I’m not “going quietly into that dark night”, but rather relishing whatever time I have left. Knowing that there are so many out there who never reached this age. I have seen so many changes in my life from technology to amazing moves in the medical field. I take a ton of supplements including collagen protein and bio identical hormone therapy. I try to eat better than I used to and just to be totally honest: I had minor cosmetic surgery back in my fifties, looking back that was a waste. But I have had cataract surgery, great move because my eyesight has improved to 20/20 and 20/25. I am now in the middle of major dental surgery, no teeth and lots of stitches, that I keep spitting out. But these steps are not to impress anyone, but to give me the opportunity to enjoy not only the sights around me but great food to taste.
Just wanted to share with everyone that taking care of oneself is beneficial not only to you but to those around you. I’ll share later when I get my “new” teeth. lol
I am one who needs this today. Thank you. I really like what Diane and you said about accepting the lines we have. I really don’t like it when women who are pushing skin care also talk about the fillers and procedures they have had.
Thanks, Pam
Beautiful! Sunblock and hat on, heading out the door. Enjoy your day!
Hi Rhoda, thank you for sharing this! We each must decide what we want to do to build our joy and confidence over 60 and beyond. Some of told me not to do foot surgery because it won’t matter at age 70! What matters to me is that I want to alleviate pain and make sure that my balance and activity is strong as long as possible. That is why I am doing it…for me…just like you spoke. I also take a lot of supplements, but, thank goodness, only allergy medicine!
You are so welcome Paula…I agree with you on the second part!
You enjoy yours as well…I just returned from the gym; need to shower and then I will head out with you.
Thank You Pamela for a wonderful Monday article..! I think each generation pushes out the idea of ‘old age’. I know many vibrant women in their late 60’s , early 70’s that do more than some younger women I know. It’s all in the attitude…Since i started reading your posts, I’ve realized aging isn’t all that awful, well sometimes in the morning, yes I look 72 and wonder what happened overnight, ..but…..it is important to keep up with fashion, hair, makeup styles that are current but still appropriate for face and body type.. I belong to a women’s group that supports young women and we’ve been able to offer high school seniors scholarships yearly, give grants to groups that help the community all thru some creative fundraising. All this keeps your mind sharp and give a purpose in life and we are ‘seen’ just in a different way…..Have a great week!!
Love your organization, Nancy. It is so good to be involved in the community and work that is beyond ourselves. Not only does it help others, it helps us as well. So glad to have you here.
This is completely off topic, but what do women carry in the large totes like the one you’re carrying in the picture? I feel like I’m missing some essential secret of womanhood because I couldn’t begin to fill one of those up.
I have known too many people who have retired from their jobs & then retired from life. I have tried to make my focus on what I can do not what I can’t do anymore. I heard a wonderful story yesterday about a group of senior citizens who have become grannies & grampies at a local high school. They talk with & more importantly listen to the students. There is no judgement just kindness & love. To quote one of the students, “They are the coolest people I know.”
LOL…Hi Julie. I have owned that tote for years and use it in the summer. I take it shopping with me to avoid plastic bags..so if I have a small trip to the grocery, I take it. If I pick up some flowers for the house, I take it. If I go on a trip to the mall, I take it in case I make a purchase. That is all I use it for. My handbags of choice these days are all crossbody bags.
What a wonderful program, Becky. I wish all high schools did that! I would volunteer for that in our local community.
Pamela – great Monday post! I just turned 70 in early May. There are days that I feel everyone of those years, but they are few. Staying involved and active is the key to having confidence and feeling younger. I volunteer for a national philanthropic organization, Assistance League. We have a chapter in San Antonio and 119 other cities across the country. I find that the interactions with friends and knowing I’m helping my community really helps me in staying positive and confident!
This was a great Monday message to all of us. As I approach 77 in the fall and have endured 7 surgeries ( some major and some minor, like two cararact surgeries) I feel blessed to be able to walk 2-3 miles a day, attend Tai Chi classes and do gentle yoga class. I love my book club which keeps me reading and discussing these selections with a group of wonderfully bright women! Its all good! Thank you Pam!
Thank you for sharing, Paulette. I know when you share what you are doing that it encourages others who are looking for ideas.
Thanks for sharing Ashlie…I hope today’s post with motivate others who may be looking for ideas of ways to get involved.
Five years ago, my husband and I sold our larger home and downsized to a much smaller home in an active retirement community. Our friends were shocked we “chose to live surrounded by other old people.” Ha! This is the busiest place I have ever lived. Lots of trails to hike, smaller town is on Puget Sound. Committees to join, bookclubs, garden clubs, classes to take. Just this weekend we had a Rolling Stones tribute band in our lodge. Tonight I am going to Sip N Paint. My neighbors led very interesting lives and are great fun to be with. When I miss my teaching career, I just design a course to teach here. Oh, and one of those friends came to visit and bought a house here the weekend she visited. She and her husband live a 10 minute walk away.
Todays post was great , love the outfit it looks great on you , could you please tell me the brand of your red sandals thank you
Pamela,
Loved this post….I am now retired for 4 years and this is the BEST time of my life as I get to do what I want to do….Keep the inspiration coming!!!
Hope you have a great week!!
Hugs,
Deb
We are His beautiful masterpieces created by a loving Father who made us in His image to reflect His love and glory to all around us!🥰
Hi Janet, The brand is called Aetrex and I do not believe they are currently available. If I find out different, I will send you an email.
Thanks Debbie!
Amen!
As a former model and stylist, aged 75, I am sometimes surprised by the wrinkles, pounds, age spots and aches and pains that have jumped aboard along the way. I still feel the same way inside. That said, I find it an interesting challenge to dress for both comfort and style as I am now. I find it especially important when preparing for a doctor’s appointment or business meeting to avoid being discounted. I amp up the make up, style and add some good jewelry. I will be seen and heard!
I’m grateful to be in generally good health and have recently returned from a six week trip to Europe and New York visit to see family. I am grateful and don’t take it for granted. I know I am important to my family, friends and community. I exercise and eat right. You inspire, Pamela, thank you!
Thank you! That makes so much more sense.😃