Confident Personal Style Reinforces Strength for Women over 50

confident personal style

Happy 2024, dear friends!  Let’s ring in this New Year with a post about how confident personal style reinforces strength for women over 50!

Yesterday, we began a new focus on the word STRENGTH and what it means to us in the second half of life.  Getting stronger in many areas is everything to us right now.

Confident personal style is a big part of this equation…it has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with confidence to be stronger, resilient and relevant in today’s world.

I have written about confident personal style since 2015 after I began to see the value in a unique message sent from my outside.

If you would like to read those posts, just put personal style and/or personal style adjectives Into the search bar of the blog.

Many of you are thinking…OK, I have heard this message from Pamela before…but stick with me today for some new information.


confident personal style

When you leave your house with confident personal style, you are a stronger person and more likely to speak with others…do more with your career…do more for volunteer work…or even more for family.

A woman dressed in confident personal style is more likely to be respected, taken seriously, trusted with responsibility and listened to…these are simply true facts….no matter your age.

Confident personal style opens doors for the strong woman and can lead you to new opportunities In 2024.

You just never know where an encounter at the grocery or pharmacy might lead. 

The most important question you ask before stepping outside is….WHAT DOES THIS OUTFIT SAY ABOUT ME?

confident personal style

When you can answer that question with confidence in what you are wearing…then you are good to go.

Others will answer the question for you without you saying a word…that is just how it is.

Now, remember I am talking about your life outside of where you live…of course, wear those grungies for working in the yard or cleaning out closets.

But take seriously dressing to meet friends for lunch or running errands or traveling.


confident personal style

I have written for years about developing your own unique personal style with the use of style adjectives….you are sending a message, whether you like it or not.

Style adjectives really are the easiest way to develop your own unique style (unique just to you) and to have a successful wardrobe that works and is not full of failures or is overwhelming.

Many of us in the second half of life are transitioning our style and this is a great opportunity for you to decide what you want to tell the world about you…without saying a word.

After I left my professional office life during COVID and came home to work, I tweaked my adjectives to be creative, polished, approachable, joyful and current.

I have good reasons behind each adjective and they work as a unit for me.  But, honestly, three or four adjectives will do it.

I look in the mirror every time I dress and ask…does this look speak my five adjectives…and If it does, I am good to go.

That is how I develop Pam-style.

Also, if I am shopping, the garments must work within these five adjectives and, also, be in my warm, autumn palette.

confident personal style

I learned early on that if I control what I am saying with what I choose to wear then I have a style unique to me…and I save money and time by not buying pieces which do not work for me.

Many in this audience have had success by doing the same thing with the adjectives.  I have those adjectives posted in my closet and in my office.

Adjectives can be subjective and that is why dressing with style adjectives can be very personal to each one of us.

Christmas Day one of my children called a look “flashy” which she did not mean in a good way, but the recipient of the clothing embraced “flashy” and liked that a gift spoke that adjective.

You have to go with what YOU want to say about you and not worry about what the rest of the world thinks.  Do not try to be anyone but YOU.

Once you decide what adjectives you want to say with your confident personal style, then weed out the wardrobe to only include the garments that speak those adjectives.


confident personal style


Two of my grandchildren are assisting with an illustration here!

I am keeping my adjectives the same right now because they have built confidence and that builds strength.

However, I noticed over the past year that when I express the adjective, “creative,” with accessories, rather than garments with prints, that I feel more confident.

I have been wearing the majority of my prints less and less.

So, for now, I am moving all of the prints into one area of the closet.  I will still wear what I own, and it will take a pretty fabulous piece for me to purchase a new print.

I will be looking at them with a discerning eye.

I love wearing my accessories and speaking that I am creative with them and that balances the word “polished,” which also keeps the creative me under control.

When I go out to try on clothing for YOU, I will be trying on what is available in prints…just like I try on clothing in your colors…so you can see what is in the stores.

If I fall for something in a print, I will let you know….and I will continue to occasionally wear some of what I own.

But, lately when I put on many of those prints,  the clothing does not say STRENGTH to me…we will see what happens with that together here on the blog.


confident personal style

Since I have been writing about this…and I said it has been a long time…I have heard many excuses…a few examples are:

  1.  I am too old to care:  My response is that at 70, I am going to go out and look my best and enjoy this very short life as much as I can.  I have experienced personally how doors will open later in life when you care.
  2.  I can only think of three, so I am not going to do it:  My response is that is fine…it is your choice…but three works great…just start with three.
  3. I am classic and only want to be classic:  My response is to define “classic” in adjectives…what does classic style say about you.  Then dress with that answer in mind.
  4. I cannot do this because I need help:  My response is that I am here to help, email me
  5. I am waiting to lose weight:  My response is that when I began to dress the body I had with my adjectives, it was a motivation to actually lose the weight and take better care of me.  Don’t wait.
  6. It is too expensive to begin something new with my clothes:  My response is that you can look your best at any price point (even Goodwill) and you will save money when you develop a solid confident personal style.
  7. I don’t want to look like you:  My response is PERFECT! I want you to look like you, so select what YOU want your clothing to say about YOU!


confident personal style

Building a confident personal style with style adjectives can be fun and lead to new experiences.

It doesn’t matter what age you are.  Actually,  I know more women with fabulous confident personal style in their 70s and beyond than younger ones.

I believe our generations have learned the power and success that comes with communicating confidence and strength with our style.

It also results in smiling more.

Again, if you are new, we do talk about clothing A LOT, because this audience loves it and many are here for it.

I am also tweaking some content this week, so tell me what you think.  Friday is when we will discuss physical strength.

If you are open to sharing, please tell us…what does your unique personal style say about you?  Or share your own style adjectives.

Thanks for starting the new year here…and make sure that you….


By Pamela Lutrell

I was encouraged to explain more about my SHOPPING LINKS page and how to use it.  (In fact I just added a few new brands to the list)

I am an affiliate for many different brands and when you click on those brands and shop, then I receive a small commission.

This is such an important income for me and my family.

I have tried to include the brands most shopped by this audience, but sometimes I miss one of your favorites.

If you will tell me what you are shopping, then I can tell you if I am affiliate for them and give you that link…if it is not already on the page.

And remember to send your recipes and home decor with pictures to  Send to email and do not try to put in comments! YOU are the best.

Confident Personal Style


  1. This topic of prints is interesting. At first I thought, “I don’t care for prints, either “. But then I looked in my closet and was reminded that I love stripes. They’re prints, right? I don’t care for floral, artsy or graphic prints.
    What will you do about prints come Fiesta?

  2. LOL!! You are right about Fiesta, Linlee. That is a special event which will see me in prints and festive spring colors. As I said, I will wear what I own and stripes are already in the wardrobe. Stripes are more subdued than many of the prints I have not been wearing lately. I wore stripes often last year. I promise to be honest and tell you if this begins to change.

  3. I think I have always had a “look”; from childhood on, I have always known what I liked in clothes and what looked good on me. I have memories of shopping with my mom and sisters where I could easily choose a garment whereas my sisters took forever to pick out an outfit. I was going through some scarves last month and saw that I still own a few from my college days in the early ’70’s that still work today. IMHO, some women know how to work with what they have while others struggle. I don’t go for trends or costumes; prefer few embellishments but use accessories to enhance solid colors. As I have aged I have become acutely aware of colors that compliment my white hair and yellowish skin tone. A new friend asked me where I shopped and when I told her she said she never finds anything in that store. She was curious how it worked well for me. Your blog certainly helped me transition from a professional career to an active retirement lifestyle but not everything that works for you works for me. That’s ok! I love your message of strength and self confidence; embracing our unique styles and being ourselves! Happy New Year! 2024 is going to be another adventurous year!

  4. Always adventurous! You are one of the lucky few who have always known what you want to say with your style. So many…and I was once one of them…waste so much money trying to decide what they want to say with style. We are all so, unique and different…it is so refreshing to learn how to say that with what we wear. Thanks Linda!

  5. Interesting post about your own choices. I’ve never been a print lover (except for stripes). I have a couple of print blouses that sit in my closet. My own adjective for your “creative” is “interesting,” because I think it incorporates creative in perhaps a more disciplined way, which is my style. Like you, I use this adjective mostly in accessorizing, but I also think it can incorporate the silhouette or cut (your dark green washable silk dress comes to mind), or in combining textures, as in Nordic style. Thanks to you, I make more purposeful purchases. As I’ve lost a significant amount of weight, I’m trying not to bring too much into my closet, and it’s been quite the lesson on how many fewer clothes I need than I thought. In a few months, I will have the chance to really start anew, and I want to do that with awareness and most of all, with patience. I want to avoid buying “good enough” because it’s on clearance.

  6. Good for you, Linda…on your weight loss journey and on not buying “good enough” because it is on sale. I also stopped that, but have found a few amazing additions to my wardrobe in the sales. It is important that once we discover our style that we not be enticed away from it.

  7. I seem to have trouble finding my style adjectives. I know what I feel comfortable in but it is probably pretty frumpy. My biggest problem is seeing something on someone else and buying it only to find out it just doesn’t look good on me. This will be something to focus on because I don’t have the extra money to throw away.

  8. Paula, What do you want to tell the world about you with the way you dress? If a stranger walked by, what does your outfit tell them about you? Start there…write down everything that comes to mind about what you want to tell others about you during this time of life. One of my adjectives is approachable…I look at my outfit and make sure that I am dressing in a way that encourages others to say hello or good morning or speak while waiting in line. It also means that I am wearing confident clothing that will open my smile up to approaching others. What clothing do you own that makes you look in the mirror and say…OH YES, this is me. Set those pieces aside…they are keepers. Your wardrobe should speak one language. Any pieces that speak…I am frumpy, I am dowdy, I am sad…need to go along to the donation pile. Let us know what adjectives come to mind when you start thinking…What do I want to say to others about me?

  9. Happy New Year. I’m afraid I’m one of your excuse people. I’ve been trying to find my adjectives for well over a year now. I find I can identify the adjectives of others that I admire but can’t find my own. I know that I feel best when my clothes fit which is the excuse that comes up the most. Pre Covid I would often shop in the U.S. and find more petites in one store than what I can find in my Canadian city. I also do not have a good eye for how something will work if altered. Just shortening a piece doesn’t work. The cost of altering can sometimes double the price of a piece and it not come out like one would imagine. I’ll try to find my strength to stay positive on my next shopping trip.

  10. Love your message and always look forward to your blog posts. I am classic that likes to blend into the background – guess I need to work on adjectives! I love to stay on top of the fashion trends/news (thank you!) yet find most of my clothes at thrift stores. Again, I stick to classic pieces in my “colors” Its the thrill of the hunt. I find that if I search, I can find exactly what I need to fill any gaps in my wardrobe. Looking forward, with strength, to 2024!

  11. I love prints and color! Not sure what style adjective that would be….i also have lost weight in 2023 and retired from working. So comfy and casual are in my motto!

  12. For now, Linda, set aside the fit issue (which I agree is important) and think about what I just wrote to Paula. What adjectives describe how you want people to see you during this time of life?
    Just start with three if that helps. What messages to you want to send to others about you when you get dressed? if you can zero in on those adjectives and stay true to them, then the next step would be finding flattering fits that speak those adjectives. Start with the messaging first.

  13. You know me Deborah, I love the thrill of the hunt as well! What is it that classics say to you…what messages are you sending others about you with the way you dress? There is nothing wrong…or in the background about strong classic style. It may be more helpful on your thrift trips looking for pieces that say I am confident, strong, feminine, reserved, traditional, wise…these all speak classic to me. Put on some of your classic pieces and ask if they speak these adjectives to you? Tell me if this helps

  14. I love my colors, Lisa. Also, when you love prints and color one of your style adjectives you might consider would be creative, or dramatic, or joyful, or expressive….something like one of those. What do you think your comfy, casual style says to others about you…how can you keep that style uniquely you and not too comfy. You think about that. Strength comes with confidence when you leave the house and confidence comes with dressing unique to you.

  15. Happy New Year Pam, to you and your family. Truly enjoyed your blog today. Many ideas to start thinking about and implementing for 2024!!

  16. Happy new year, Pam! I find that strength starts from inside … and will be trying in 2024 to communicate that more through my clothes. I love stripes but am not generally a fan of prints. Looking forward to your blog in the new year.

  17. Thanks Maeve and I agree that strength starts inside…I know it does for me…but I also know it helps many women to feel it and see it when we dress. Thanks for being here.

  18. I really struggled with my adjectives until I started writing down how I felt after seeing an outfit that spoke to me. That’s when my adjectives came together. (Relaxed, simple, polished, current, confident.) Pam, great post to start the year. You have had the greatest impact on re-discovering my style comfort zone. And yes confidence and strength are the result of loving one’s clothing.

  19. Thank you, Suzi! I love your adjectives! Great choices to build your wardrobe on. Thanks for sharing.

  20. Pamela, great message! Food for thought. Picking my style adjectives with your help has been a tremendous advantage for me. Like Deborah, I prefer the Classic look. But “fun” is one of my adjectives, and can be accomplished while still keeping a Classic look. It helps to identify your style icons, too. Mine are Grace Kelly, Jacqueline K. and Audrey Hepburn. Also, pick a person you know and see often that you admire and watch how she dresses and presents herself. Very enlightening! Happy New Year to all!

  21. Thanks for sharing, Marcia. We are going to talk about watching women in their street style on Wednesday. I hope you will join in the conversation. Love your comment.

  22. Happy New Year and thank you for the thoughtful January 1st post. I think that I could have written just what LindaL did. I grew up being very decisive and confident about clothing and have always presented myself with a certain style. My base has been primarily classic, but I enjoy a vibe to go with it: a little creative here, a tad bohemian there, much more casual at this stage in life. You thought that the following adjectives were good for me: strong, intelligent, dramatic, adventurous, and approachable. I tucked them into my color palette and use them; I don’t want to give them up, but I am thinking of tweaking or adding to them a bit in the new year. I have been thinking and making notes. As far as prints go, I would love to explore why so many of us avoid them for the most part. I have been told which look best for me, but I struggle and usually donate, so I have been avoiding them. I do love the horizontal Breton stripes, and have a collection of the iconic Breton tops, mostly from Kettlewell since they usually offer them in the spring/summer by seasonal palettes. I would love for you to tackle prints. Annie, who did your colors and style analysis, wears them so well! I am now thinking about your comment about applying the creativity to accessories, and I think I am going to ‘borrow’ Linda LM’s “interesting”! I want to concentrate on interesting and rich color combinations from my dark autumn palettes. Have a good day.

  23. “Interesting” is a great adjective to pair with classic. It slightly opens those doors for more fun. I am pondering the prints. I want the understand why I don’t reach for them like I previously did…it will be a future posts. So glad the adjectives I helped you with have served you well.

  24. Happy 2024 to Pamela and and all the readers of this awesome blog!
    Ok here are my 5: preppy, classic, smart, confident, Jackie O.
    Having said that, these are aspirational words and name for me! I’ve just gotten started at age 55. My style was all over the place before. Just really random. Also, I was hanging onto the idea of staying young. And I admittedly am struggling a bit, I think because my most recent health issues took a bite of 5 years and are also ongoing. However, I am grateful for each day and for this blog. Thank you Pamela!

  25. Thanks Sandra. I have found that when I dress confidently and stay true to my adjectives, I look and feel vibrant, strong and confident which are all youthful traits!

  26. Today’s post made me think of my late mother-in-law. She was in her mid-nineties when she passed away, but until she became ill at 93, she always cared about the way she dressed. She had a big over the top personality & that was reflected in her clothes & accessories. She & her outfits sparkled & shined. I am on the opposite end of that spectrum, as I prefer a simpler style, but that is okay. She was true to herself, & I am true to me.

  27. Absolutely true, Pam! My style adjectives at present are classy, casual, comfortable, confident, and authentic. When I dress with those descriptives in mind, I feel stronger and I’m more comfortable stepping out of my comfort zone and interacting with other people (in spite of the fact that I’m naturally an introvert).

  28. It does boost us forward into conversations and experiences we might not have shrinking back. Thank you for sharing that Elaine.

  29. Pam – I love that these photos show your boot. It subtly makes the point that all of us can dress to look our best, irregardless of our circumstances. I enjoy your blog very much. Please keep up the good work. Thank you.

  30. Thank you, Marin! Life is too short to sit around and wait on the boot to go away!

  31. I like having adjectives to guide my wardrobe choices, but I tend to dress more for my pleasure than what I want the world to know about me.

  32. I have discovered that my confidence grows with my adjectives and then it becomes my pleasure. They are the same once I use the adjectives to build a wardrobe unique to me. Thanks Ann!

  33. Happy New Year Pam. I had trouble with five adjectives so stopped at three; relaxed, fun, and current. Glad you said that three was enough :-). My current life is lunches with friends, the gym and walking my dogs and got into a rut of not really worrying about what I wore so in 2024 am going to up my look while still being comfortable.

  34. Good for you, Tina. A strong casual style can be a real gift in the second half of life. Good adjectives!

  35. Happy new year, Pam! Like several others, I was so pleased to see you posting fashion photos with the boot. I know that will be a tremendous boost to anyone recovering from a similar surgery, but I also think it speaks volumes about your confidence and strength, making you a trustworthy role model for any of us dealing with health challenges. I was going to revisit my adjectives early in the new year and you’ve helped me to jumpstart the process. I love the Stacy London and Tim Gunn quotes in your post, and I have always been on board with the idea that our clothes send powerful and important messages. I spent the first two decades of my adulthood trying to learn how middle-class professional women dress, after growing up in the country next-door to three boys, wearing hand me downs or homemade clothing. My overriding concern with all my wardrobe choices as an adult has been that they be appropriate for the occasion. In fact, being dressed inappropriately for an event is one of my greatest fears. Like Sandra, Jackie O. is my style icon and even in retirement I lean toward a very classic style, frequently asking myself “What would Jackie wear?”. My updated style words for 2024 are classic, polished, confident, appropriate and cowgirl. I know that last one probably seems somewhat incongruous, but I grew up training horses and rodeoing, and here in Fort Worth there’s literally no place you can’t wear a nice pair of cowboy boots. When I bought some nicer boots after retiring last year I promised myself they would be worn more often than just to the stock show or on rainy days. I’m now wearing them with dresses to go all kinds of places, and I always feel most like myself when I’m in a pair of cowboy boots. Now that I can no longer wear a nice pair of black pumps with a 2 to 3 inch heel they are my “go to “ footwear. I could not come up with an adjective for an elevated “athlesuire” look, but my quest for comfortable footwear has taken my style in a new direction that is more “sporty” for medical appointments and errands. The Ryka “Echo Knit” shoe has become a staple in my wardrobe. You might like them, as they’re much less clunky than most slip on athletic shoes and in great colors like olive green and burgundy. Regarding the issue of wearing prints, I find that when I buy prints I rarely wear them, especially florals. I like Breton style striped tops, small to medium size polkadots and a classic plaid every now and then, but I don’t seem to wear florals if I buy them. I bought a long sleeve floral T-shirt at J Jill this fall that matches a longer length quilted vest. It’s a dark teal with little rust colored flowers and looks fantastic with knee-high tan leather riding boots, so I guess it has made it into the exception category. But every time I buy a floral dress with the intention of wearing it to a wedding I end up wearing a solid color with pearls and returning the dress. I think many women gravitate to solids because they tend to make us look slimmer than floral prints. I wholeheartedly support the right of my friends who love florals to wear them regardless of whether or not they are flattering. At the end of the day our confidence comes from feeling like we look our best and that means something different to each person. I’m so glad you’re providing us more content on this topic and it’s one I will never get tired of discussing in the safety of this group.

  36. Your adjectives just made this Texas girl smile…a classic, polished, appropriate cowgirl…gotta love it! We have got to meetup someday!

  37. Hi from Wyoming, Pam, & all showing STRENGTH on this great blog!!
    Love your choice of Strength, Pam, & thesaurus definitions, too. As an artist & k-12 art teacher in Mo.(enjoyed clothes!) mid-70s & also subbing lots in Wyo.,80s & 90s I was always Creative & Professional in choices. Later, as a para-educator I watched Stacy London’s What not to Wear & loved it. , I worked in Hailey, Id., B.C.S.D., 16 yrs as a para-educator: 1st w a fab. principal at new k-5 elem. Woodside 6 yrs. & was professional- casual.( Lots more so than some of the women!) Lastly, worked w an amazing Sp. Ed teacher & my beloved special needs kids ages 18-21, in V.O.I.C.E.,( an innovative program! )- LOVED dressing Creatively w fun blazers, jackets, sweaters & jewelry, jeans, scarves, vests & hats doing outside duty. Shopped Thrift stores, as my students worked there( Para= tight $$)! Many casual outfits translated to RETIRED casual after moving back to Wy. 6.5 yrs ago.
    My words are creative-artist, colorful, casual column: top/bottom & Love appropriate cowgirl Now at 74!! I love turq, teal, aqua, rich blue, navy, black, white,red, gray for colors. STRIPES in turq, rich blue, navy or black horiz stripes, and teal, aqua, navy & blue vertical stripes. I like an accent in floral in a scarf, do not wear many button-front shirts any more ( have silky pure white, red, teal for dress-up w dk jeans and a black western silver accent belt & boot- shirts look good tucked in ).
    I am proud to have survived my mitral valve heart repair surgery 2009 and have my nice turq/silver and other necklaces to wear over my battle scar!!Thank You- am sorry to be so long I do talk a LOT!
    Love to see your foot boot , Pam. I feel same way about my in-ear molded, behind ear recharge 2 hearing aids …I do not CARE if ANYONE knows I wear hearing aids and AM BLESSED TO HAVE THEM as well as my glasses. Blessings to all…I’m help hubby of 54 yrs now. I look to more of the blog! Thank you! Hugs-Nani Jen

  38. Loved your comment, Jen. You sound like such a fun teacher! I blog despite my ripped ear, crooked teeth, fluffy middle and now recovery boot! I still want to look my best every day despite any challenges! You are an inspiration…thank you for being here!

  39. Love all of the comments! It really feels like a community of friends talking with me. I too am an introvert and writing is easier than talking to people. I also live in cowgirl country in Colorado. So casual, comfortable and classic seem to be my adjectives. My tiny mother was such a big personality and dressed very trendy in bright colors and loud prints. I exerted my preferences very early in life to my style not hers. She was a brilliant seamstress and made my petite clothes to my drawings before petite was available. We shopped for my choices in materials and simple Jackie O. Styles for dress. She taught me how to sew and adjust patterns to fit. If I wore my Chanel suit now people would think I was going to a wedding or a funeral here! I’m grateful for the more casual styles now as they are much more comfortable. My clothes have to please me. I wore scrubs for nearly 30 years as a critical care nurse with tennis shoes as my life saver. I’m 5’2” and for some strange reason people always think I am taller. If we are confident in who we are it seems to translate in to what we wear. Since I became disabled with chronic pain, strength has had to be one of my adjectives. So thank you for being here and bringing this wonderful group of strong mature women together. You are 9 years younger than me but a great role model Pam. I really enjoy reading your blog.

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